Hospital stay in pictures...

My lovely IV pole. Blood, TPN, fluids, and anti-biotics.

My PICC line.

Before my surgery. Can you tell I had had a rough few days?

After my surgery resting with some of the best medicine in the world. One of my baby girls!

Second day of up and walking around. The pillow helped to keep pressure on my tummy.

A few of my lovely flowers and cards. I also received a lilac bush and daisy's that will be planted outside. 

I'm feeling pretty decent today. This morning was kind of rough pain wise, but I did manage my first shower by myself. Do you know how hard it is to wash your legs when you can't bend over properly? The bottom half of my legs didn't get scrubbed but one of my new found Crohns friends kindly said that the soap and shampoo that ran down my body cleansed my lower legs so it didn't matter. Awesome point! Speaking of lower legs and not being able to bend over very well, this little lady won't be shaving her legs anytime in the near future...and I'm also going to have to go and get a professional pedicure if I want to show off my toes anytime in the near future. 

I've made a lot of progress as of today. Follow up appointments have been made with both my surgeon and my GI. I have successfully found a psychiatrist and my first meeting is May 7th. The doctor in charge of my care while in the hospital provided me with enough depression and anxiety medication to last thirty days so finding a psychiatrist was vital if I wanted to stay on the right path of obtaining a clear and healthy mentality. I'm excited that I have someone I can talk to and lets be honest, someone who can continue giving me the anxiety medication...it's very much needed. I've also started the social security disability process. I can't believe that at twenty eight years old I'm starting this process but my surgeon told me the day after my surgery, I'm in no condition to work anytime soon and that I needed to look into obtaining it. I hope it goes smoothly and that I don't have to jump through hoops.

Yesterday was my first home visit with my nurse. Let me remind you that I had had no depression or anxiety medication since Monday. Yesterdays experience was traumatic to say the least. She had trouble getting the adhesive off around my ostomy areas, which are still very tender by the way, then she put the bags on incorrectly so we had to do it a second time. Hysterical people...I was once again hysterical. It didn't help that during this process Cadence decided she was going to start choking on a goldfish cracker. I'm laying on the bed unable to assist with anything because if I stood up poop would go everywhere, my cousin Heather who is our godsend right now started to panic as we were trying to determine whether she was fully choking or what, and then next thing I know the nurse is tearing off her rubber gloves and grabbing for the baby. Luckily Cadence got it up on her own, but the fact I didn't have a full on anxiety attack after those few moments of bag changes and choking...amazes me. I couldn't handle anymore so I made Heather take Cadence upstairs and stay until we were done. I couldn't take anymore distractions. I'm telling you now, my poor psychiatrist is going to have her hands full with me...lol. I also think she's going to need to up the dosage of my anxiety medication...haha.

Let's see, I'm still patiently waiting for my nurse to come by today. It's 5:30 and I have not heard from her yet even though the nurse yesterday said someone would be out today. I hate the unknown, part of why I have such severe anxiety. So sitting here knowing that at any moment someone is going to knock on my front door, but I don't know when that moment will be which leaves me unable to prepare for it mentally...makes me mad...and even more anxious. Is anyone tired of hearing about my anxiety issues yet?? Good news, my meds are ready though, so tonight maybe I will be somewhat calmer and less anxious. I'm going to eat those things like candy if I have to. Especially since tomorrow will be my first time changing my bags all.by.myself!! Dear Lord help us all!