Friday, April 30, 2010


To the rotten individual who somehow abducted the perfect little angel that I brought home from the hospital on February 20th listen up! You have until 10 p.m. tonight to bring her back home to her adoring parents and take the child that you replaced her with who refuses to be content.

Seriously though, Addison has cried more in the past three days than she has in the entire two and a half months that she has been alive. She doesn't sleep which means Mommy and Daddy are barely sleeping. She cries in her swing, bumbo chair, and her boppy chair. We pick her up to console her and she still cries.

I have switched the nipples on her bottles from the slow vent to fast vent, added rice cereal (which pains me greatly by the way), added her gas drops to the mix, and gave her her first dose of grape flavored Tylenol and nothing worked. The minute I gave her the Tylenol she settled down and became very content but it wasn't from the Tylenol because it is impossible to work the second you give it to a baby. The contentment only lasted about two hours though before she was back at it and I didn't see the point in giving her anymore.

I hope that she is just experiencing colic or having a hard time adjusting to our new schedule. Daniel has started on third shift so the poor girl is forced to sleep all night with me and then go right back to bed with Daddy when he gets home at 6:30 in the morning.

No matter what the problem is I know one thing...I DEMAND that my perfect little angel come home to me immediately. I miss you immensely!!!


Your grieving and very exhausted Mother~~

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Sleepy Baby

You know you're a mother when you can spend countless hours watching and taking pictures of your baby while she sleeps.

I don't know how Addison could be even more precious than what she is while she is napping!

She's been sticking her tongue out since the moment she was born much to her Papaw's amusement. Now she is sleeping with it hanging out!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Katie+Daniel=Happily Ever After

I am a big fan of Kelly's Korner and for those of you who have browsed through her blog you know she does something called "show us your life Fridays" along with a theme for that particular Friday. Today's "show us your life" is about how you met your significant other. I don't think I have ever shared the story of how Daniel and I met and then proceeded to date, get married, buy a house, have a baby, etc. so I thought I would share today.

Sit back and relax while I tell a magical tale~~~

Long, long ago, towards the end of 2004 and the beginning of 2005 there live a beautiful single Princess who lived all alone. The Princess had just turned 21 and had never had what one would consider a boyfriend due in large part because all of the guys she had ever been interested in either didn't return the feelings or ended up just being bad news.

Just joking! A Princess I am not! The story however is true.

In all honesty, I was that shy girl in high school who never really put herself out there so I didn't date in high school either. I had horrible self esteem and even though I had all kinds of friends, when it came to guys and dating I was more comfortable sitting in the corner so that the neon light on my forward signaling that I was single and desperate wouldn't gain any notice. In all of my pathetic being I decided that after 21 years enough was enough and I needed to get off of my fanny and do something about it. I was sick of being all alone and having my Saturday nights consist of hanging out with my then 16 year old sister and her boyfriend. Even my kid sister could get a man which proves even further just how pathetic I must have been. I knew I didn't need to flash the neon sign on my forehead because who knows what kind of bad news would have been knocking on my door, but I knew I needed to do something.

Anyway, here I am desperate for some love and affection and I realize...I don't go out and party or bar hop with friends so just how am I going to meet somebody. After all I am not one to chat in line with the hottie behind me at McDonald's so I knew none of that "chance meeting" stuff was going to occur.

So what did Katie do you ask?

Katie took matters into her own hands is what she did!!

I created an account on! Now before you laugh at me remember, I did not do the social scene AT ALL and even if I did I figured meeting someone over the Internet would be just as safe as if I picked some random guy up at a bar. At least meeting them over the Internet equalled some sort of safety net for me and it also met I could "interview" them for quite some time before I took the big leap and actually meet them face to face. It also meant that after I obtained their name and where they lived my roomie who just so happened to be a corrections officer for Montgomery County, could search for them in the County records to see if they had any secrets I needed to know about...LOL! It pays to have good friends sometimes.

So there I was my account was up and running and it was finally time to do some much needed "shopping". I "winked" at a few guys which is cupids way of showing a person your interested in them and Daniel just so happened to be one of those guys. He had by far, the most gorgeous blue eyes I had ever seen in my life and I have always been a sucker for blue eyes. I tried not to hold my breath on whether or not he would "wink" back but he did and I just knew the guy that I was interviewing prior to Daniel needed to go, he had been to "in my face" anyway. And by the way...the blue eyes I was so enthralled with, yeah, they were fake, big fat duds. His eyes are a blue green but thanks to the contacts he was wearing at the time his eyes were a very bright teal blue. My sister and I still can't believe we fell for them at first.

Now for those of you who aren't familiar with you should know that it is free to set up an account and wink at whoever your heart fancies. It is not free however, to actually talk to those people and be given their information such as e-mail addresses. In order to do so you have to pay a membership fee which at the time was not in my budget unless I had some luck. Daniel was my luck and I bit the bullet and paid for a one month membership which would be just long enough to gather his e-mail address and his instant messenger screen name so that we could continue to talk after my month was done. We begun corresponding for a few months and then finally we got to the point where it was time to meet. He gave me his digits and I ended up calling him. Looking back at it now I did all of the damn work in the beginning of this relations...LOL.

On March 19th of 2005 we met for the first time. It was the night my parents and my Grandmother who my sister and I just happened to be spending the night with, didn't get a single minute of sleep until they knew we were safely home. Since there was still that remote possibility that Daniel was a serial rapist I dragged my 16 year old sister along with me and we actually met at our other Grandmothers house who had just passed away. Looking back at it now I am not really sure what having my 16 year sister along for the ride would have saved me from. We joke now saying that at least one of us could have survived and called 911 and then had information to help find the others dead body.

So there my sister and I sit in a house barely furnished awaiting the arrival of Daniel. I along with my cousin Heather and friend Amy had just begun moving into the house so please don't think we were there because it was empty. My sister still cracks up thinking about that night because I spent most of it in and out of the bathroom. We were worried about my hair, make-up, clothes, and bless my heart...whether I would have to poop while he was there. Don't ask...only a person with Crohns disease, which I was a few months away from being diagnosed with, would worry about such a thing.

We sat around for about an hour and then we heard it. The roar of Daniel's limited edition 1996 orange Ford Mustang pulling into the driveway. We ran to the front window staying low enough that he wouldn't be able to detect us and then we crawled to the front bedroom where we could safely peer out the window to determine whether or not we should open the front door. I told you I was pathetic but looking back we would have been hysterical to watch.

He got out of the car, while Nikki scrammed for the living room and I gathered myself long enough to quit breathing like I had just been running and crawling around the house, I opened the door and there he stood. Ol' blue eyes in person. We did our introduction. I asked whether he went by Daniel or Dan...he said either was fine. On a side note...either was not fine and I was scolded by my future mother in law a few months later when I called him Dan in front of her. This was also the time when I should have known that this man cannot make a definite decision to save himself.

The night went rather smoothly, the three of us...Nikki included, curled up on the couch and watched a series of scary movies. I was sandwiched between Nikki and Daniel with Daniel at the very end of the couch. By the end of the night Nikki was pretty much sitting on my lap while I was pretty much sitting on Daniel's lap because of the scary movie marathon we were holding. The night ended with he and I taking Nikki back to our other Grandma's house because my Grandma had given her a curfew(Grandma was not thrilled with our decision making skills that night and a curfew was her way of interjecting in some way). My cousin Heather and friend Amy had both gotten home by the time we had gotten back and Daniel ended up buying everybody Taco Bell...he ordered a nacho belle grande without tomatoes by the way, and then Heather suckered us into watching a porno*. I still can't believe that part and you really need to know the crazy that is my cousin Heather to fully understand it. When you put us three girls together we are one fruit loop short of being a bowl full of crazy.

*I would like to add we did not watch the entire thing, just a few minutes, so please don't think we are complete weirdos who should not have a child...LOL.

Daniel ended up heading home without giving me a kiss good night...he did hug me though much to the girls enjoyment since they had been hovering behind the front door peeping through the window and peep hole trying to see and hear everything that was said or done. A day or so later I gave him a call wishing him a happy birthday which happened to be on the 23rd since he hadn't called me since our "first date", that was my way of being in contact without looking desperate. Even after the happy birthday call he didn't call me back. I was heartbroken and pissed off but seriously after that first night could you really blame him for not calling me? My cousin subjected him to a porno and my 16 year old sister baby-sat us...I wouldn't have called me either. He did end up calling me back eventually, obviously since we're married now, and he explained that he had been deathly ill with the flu. His Mom eventually confirmed it because he managed to drag himself to her house for his birthday dinner and she saw for herself how sick he was. I feel bad now for all of the evil things Heather, Amy, and I said about him for not calling me back after that initial Saturday but how were we to know he was sick...he didn't call me!!

Like I said he did finally call me and we went out on our second date, which by the way was once again with chaperone's. His best friend Mike and his girlfriend Megan took us to Olive Garden to celebrate Daniel's birthday. I bought him his first gift that date, a t-shirt which he stills wears and was shocked to have received. Shortly after that second date we were with each other every single weekend up until September, our third date was actually the first date with it being just us. We shared a pizza at Joe's Pizza which is a little hole in the wall place here in Dayton followed by a movie at his apartment...we watched Pearl Harbor. Within three months of dating my health took a turn for the worse and by September I was so sick I truly thought I could be knocking on heavens door. I could no longer eat and managed to lose over fifty pounds within just a couple of months. The pain I was in was excruciating to put it mildly and I was unable to stand without almost passing out. Now after knowing what it's like to give birth to a child, I would rather give birth to a child then having to ever go through that period of time in my life again. By mid September enough was enough and I began seeing the doctor. After my first appointment and having a mild seizure after they took my blood I was sent straight to the hospital for more testing. I was sick and it was bad. I will spare you the details of those next few weeks but I was finally diagnosed with Crohns disease and our relationship became very strained. The week before my diagnosis I had actually moved into Daniel's place but I was so sick my Mom and Step-dad wanted me back at home. I actually had a possible cancer scare when the tests started coming back in so you can imagine how worried all of my parents were. I was TERRIFIED and needed the comfort of my home and family. I don't know if Daniel was hurt that I had left or more upset with the fact now he was stuck without anyone to help pay the expenses at the apartment, but needless to say he pretty much abandoned me during this time. I had decided that whether he wanted to or not, our relationship was done. I needed someone to support me and he was doing a crappy job of it. I finally threw in the towel and called him once just to check in and we talked and things got better. He still to this day is horrible at emotional support when I am sick although he is getting better. It took him several years to finally understand what having Crohns meant and just how sick I was because of it. I think after almost having Addison without an epidural when his buddies at work tell him their wives/girlfriends got theirs fairly early in labor he has a little bit more understanding of what I am able to tolerate and what my body is always going through. Secretly I think he is kind of proud I went through all of that before I got relief and that unlike his buddies women, his woman was able to hang tough.

So to keep an already long story from turning into a novel, we first met on March 19th of 2005...I consider it our first date, on May 7th of 2006 we became engaged, on October 30th 2006 we closed on our house and on May 5th of 2007 we became man and wife. And who could forget the little person that ties our happily ever after all together...Addison graced us with her presence on February 17th 2010. It was a day that we had given up hope on ever experiencing as we had been trying to get to that point since September of 2006 when we made the offer on our house. Yes we had been trying to get pregnant before we were married, we're horrible I Our lives are almost complete now that we have her and we won't be fully complete until we give her at least one sibling...I just pray it doesn't take as long to happen this time.

It still amazes me everyday that we started this journey five years ago thanks to and here we still are. What makes it even more special is that Daniel is the first boy I ever truly loved and if he stuck by me during that unusual...for lack of a better term, first date and my Crohns diagnosis not to mention the drama that is my family at all times, then he must be in it for the long haul! I love you sweetie and I can't wait for what the next five years holds for us!!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Two years ago...

Two years ago today I kissed you good-bye for the final time and with that lost the most amazing woman in my life for forever.

I cannot tell you how badly I wish you were here with me today celebrating the joy known as motherhood. I know you would be so proud of your newest great grandchild and I know she would love you just as much as I did and still do. If I can show my children half the love and encouragement that you showed your children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great great grandchildren I know that I will make a wonderful mother and grandmother to my own.

Even though you are not here physically I know you are here spiritually. It's an almost daily occurrence that we find Addison gazing upon your picture that's hanging upon our wall. While she may never know what it is to be held by you I know from the smile on her face when gazing upon yours that she already knows what it is to have her heart touched by you.

You have three girls that need you oh so desperately right now all for much different reasons but we know that after gracing this earth for eighty eight years it was finally time for you to say good-bye.

You told us all not to cry for you or be sad that you needed to leave. I told you that it was just a sign of our love for you and it couldn't be controlled. Two years later we are still crying for you as our love for you has yet to diminish.

Thank you for being my Grandma and instilling in me so many of your greatest qualities and most of all, thank you for loving me unconditionally...faults and all.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Two Months

Today you are two months old and I just can't believe how much you have changed in just these past four weeks. You are an amazing little girl and Mommy and Daddy are so blessed to have you in our lives. You eat like a champ...sleep like a champ and very seldom do you cry. We are spoiled by your wonderful behavior and good nature. Thank you for making our transition into parenthood so easy!

Love you Baby Buttercup,
Mommy and Daddy

Thursday, April 8, 2010


Yesterday was a busy day for Addison and me and with it we marked a big milestone.

The big milestone being that Addison isn't so little anymore! I can't believe it but I actually had to put away all of her newborn clothes as they are now way too small for her little body. I will admit to a tear or two mainly because I can't believe she is already seven weeks old. I remember just prior to her birth laying in bed with Daniel saying that it wouldn't be much longer before she was here and laying in bed with us and now BOOM, she's here and already to big for the newborn clothes that I used to spend countless amounts of time gazing upon in her closest dreaming of the moment I would finally get to use them. Not only is she to big to wear them but I realize there may not be another opportunity to use them again. For all we know, as I told her last night, we may get nothing but stinky ol' boys from here on out. She thought that was kind of funny as she gave Mommy a big ol' grin when I told her. Just so I am clear...we are 100% OK with having boys next. In fact Addison's sitter, my friend Amber, has two little boys of her own. The littlest one being Brayden...I ask him everyday if he's ready to go home with me yet because he's that stinkin' cute. Anyway, it's just a bummer that I may not get the opportunity to use all of these pink clothes again and its sad for me when I wanted a girl so bad before knowing Addison's gender. Time flew by way to quick but on a positive note that just means I get to buy new clothes for this period in her growth.

Yesterday was somewhat of a big day for Mommy as well. I got my six week checkup and the Doctor said all appeared to be healthy and normal so I am able to resume my normal activities. Sex, exercises, heavy lifting, pretty much all the stuff I was told not to do. I had to chuckle when she told me all of this since we may have been pregnant again so obviously we didn't listen to the sex part and then exercises...I haven't exercised a day in my life so that was just funny. I have only lost ten pounds though since giving birth so between the pregnancy weight and the weight I gained the previous year due to my steroids...I have about sixty pounds to lose in order to be back to normal. I guess the word exercises needs to be added to the vocabulary.

On another note, anyone else just loving the new warmer weather? Today was a bit of a shocker thanks to the cold front that moved in last night but the previous days were so wonderful. I can't wait for it to get warm and stay warm so that we can begin doing more outdoor activities!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Hoppy Easter!

Addison would like to wish all of her followers a very Hoppy Easter and yes her Mommy purposely misspelled Hoppy!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Back to work and not happy!!

Today is my first day back to work. I kept telling myself I would be fine since Addison would be spending most of the day with her Daddy before heading to the sitters house but guess what...I was only kidding myself. Leaving her at home this morning cradled in Daniel's arms getting her bottle about tore my heart right out of my chest...morning bottles were my job and I am resentful that that job has been taken away from me.

I have only cried once at work but I find myself looking at her pictures quite often. I should never have downloaded her pictures to my work computer, it's too much of a distraction and while I gaze upon them I feel the dreaded pain in the back of my throat from trying to hold back my emotions. Those chubby cheeks just call to me to squeeze them but sadly I am not able to do so.

I never imagined loving someone so much or being so dependent on having that person in my presence at all times. Who cares that I haven't had a decent nights sleep in six weeks, well months considering those last few weeks prior to her birth I couldn't roll over in bed or get comfortable to save myself, but if we are talking about getting up every two and a half hours then it's six weeks. Who cares that my mind and sanity are shot. I mean really, who needs to talk in complete, understandable sentences anyway. And do I really need the invitation to my cousins wedding that I lost within an hour of opening it? I still can't find that stupid thing and I wouldn't be surprised if I go to grab something out of the freezer and I stumble upon it. I can't stand this not being able to pick her up whenever I want and I would be more than happy to continue living my life like I have above if only I got to stay with my little baby buttercup all day long!

I hate to tell this little girl but she is not going away for college, moving out, or getting married...I just don't think my heart could take anymore!