A mid-week random

I haven't posted in awhile and I figured now would be a perfect time to do so as we have had a lot of exciting events take place this past few weeks.

* I'm still recovering from my ostomy reversal surgery in April. I've recovered from the actual surgery but now I'm just dealing with the side effect of having a foot of my intestines cut out and then having a bag for a year. Can somebody say lots of bathroom breaks?

* For once, someone other than myself in this house needs surgery. Daniel is having his gall bladder removed next Friday. Selfishly it's going to be nice to not be the patient this time.

* My brother Steve got married on June 1st in Cincinnati. We made the decision to stay overnight that Friday instead of driving the hour and a half drive back home with two sleepy children. We were very busy those two days but everything went off without a hitch and I must say, we all clean up nice.

* While we were at the wedding we had our friends keep Bandit. As we pulled into their driveway that night to pick Bandit up there was a driveway full of cars and people running frantically around. Bandit had run away ten minutes before we arrived and they couldn't find him. Exactly one week later, Bandit finally made his way back to their house. Last week was horribly frustrating for us but we became pretty popular on Facebook as everyone was sharing his story/picture and were out looking for him. We passed out over 500 flyer's and combined with all of our friends and family, probably spent 48 hours looking for him. We're so relieved that his sorry butt is back home.

* During the Sunday Daniel and I spent looking for Bandit we found a new addition to our household. Sophia Loren, the kitten has made her way into our hearts and the girls are very smitten with her. Never in a million years did I think we would ever own a cat but our hearts which were already breaking for Bandit, just couldn't leave her sitting on the side of the road. I love her so much!!

* Our garden this year is looking AWESOME. I can't wait for it to start producing more than a few strawberries here and there.

* In seven weeks we'll be taking our big family vacation to Cedar Point. We are all so excited we can't see straight. The trip was a gift to all of us from my aunt and uncle for Christmas this past year and they were kind enough to invite my mother-in-law along for the journey. I can't wait to see the girls faces with all of their cousins and Daniel is excited to spend a day fishing on Lake Erie.

* The process has started for Addison to begin preschool this fall. She has her preschool screening on August 21st to check for any learning disabilities but it's just a formality to make sure she doesn't need to be in the special Ed class. She is very excited to get a back pack and to ride the "cool" bus. Also, the bus will be lello, not yellow...lol. I need anxiety medication just thinking about putting her on a bus and then her walking into school and into her class all without me. When did my little baby get old enough to go to preschool?

The Little's

It's obviously very tiring to munch on some chips while watching "tatoons."

Addison Grace. This child is so precious while she sleeps. It doesn't happen as much when she's awake.

Addison Grace and Cadence Leah. I pray that they will be best friends for life!

This little girl makes me laugh like no other. She picked her own outfit that morning and her leggings are actually my socks from the hospital...lol.

Surgery #2

I've been a little quiet lately but I wanted to give an update just to have on hand for myself to look back on.

I am a week and a half out from having my second surgery to reverse my ileostomy and mucous fistula stoma. This recovery has been a lot worse than my first surgery was but I can already see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I insisted on having a PICC line put in for this surgery and it meant that I had to arrive at the hospital at 8 a.m. on Tuesday morning. Even though I'm practically a professional at having these things put in, I still almost had a panic attack half way through the procedure. They do not hurt as the area is numbed before anything is started, but it's very uncomfortable when they are inserting the line and testing to make sure that it's properly placed. The doctor and nurse do their best to talk you through the process to help keep your mind off of it but I still tend to get overwhelmed. I have had a different doctor each time I have had this done but I've been blessed to have the same nurse each and every time. She is a kind woman who prayed with me after they were done.

I went in to this with a very heavy heart. I received a frantic phone call from my step-mom on Easter Sunday regarding my mammaw. She is in complete kidney failure and has been in and out of the hospital and rehab center for the past several months. They rushed her to the hospital ICU that Sunday with an infection and they didn't expect her to live through the night. By the time we were done celebrating Easter at our home and I was ready to head out to be with my family I was notified that she was starting to stabilize. I made the decision to stay home so that I could begin the prep for my surgery. First thing Monday I headed to the hospital where I spent the better part of the day with my family and mammaw. I was fortunate to have been given time alone with her so that I could say my peace with her and I was so lucky to know that she acknowledged my presence by moving and trying to mouth something to me.

I knew going in on Tuesday that there was a chance that she could pass during my hospital stay and that I would be unable to attend her funeral. God was looking over her and she has pulled through and has been moved from the ICU to a regular hospital room. I can't begin to tell you how much better I felt during my hospital stay knowing that she was out of the woods for now.

Going back to Tuesday I was given some anxiety medication to help calm my nerves and I spent the next several hours in pre-op with Daniel and my sister Nikki who had come home that morning to be with me and our mammaw.

I don't remember much once they came to get me because they give you even more drugs to relax you before they even head to the operating room. I do remember moving from my bed to the operating table and that was it until I woke up in the recovery room. I don't remember anything of that day or the following after my first surgery so it was nice to be coherent so much sooner this time.  My surgery started at one and by 5/5:30 I was being wheeled to my room. My room with a roommate.

I had a very bad experience during my first hospital stay a couple of years ago when I shared a room with someone. I was a crying mess insisting on getting my own room. I think I even threatened to go home if I had to share a room with someone this time. By that time my aunt Robin was with Daniel so between laughing at my nonsense, they managed to calm me down. Thankfully I was given my own room by midnight that night. My poor nurses were doing their best to get that room clean and actually had the box fan I requested in the room trying to dry the floors.

My nerves were much calmer once I had my own room. I know I sound like a brat but believe me, I was justified in wanting my own room. A Crohns patient recovering from surgery with bowels that aren't working properly should not be forced to share a bathroom with another patient and I'll leave it at that.

The next few days were the same, just different days. I had a lot of pain that they had trouble getting under control. The morphine pump I had just wasn't cutting it. I think by the time I left the hospital I was on a dialdid pump, percocet pills taken orally, and was given another pain medicine via IV every four hours. My pain this time was horrible. I have five different incisions and the incisions where they reversed my stomas were the worst. I guess I had torn my ileostomy twice because of the weight I had gained and doing to much. I have to lose weight asap to prevent tearing open my incisions from the inside out. I have to wear a brace around my stomach for the next three months and I'll take it if it means that my insides are going to split open from the inside out.

The first few days after my surgery I spent quite a bit of time in the bathroom. I was expecting that hence why I insisted on getting my own room at the hospital. My pain is finally easing up but my appetite has taken a drastic turn. While I had my ileostomy food went through my system so quickly that I was pretty much always hungry. Combine that with being stuck at home with lots of temptation and not being able to do as much physically as I would like because of my prolapsed ileostomy...I ate a lot and gained a lot. Now, I have no appetite at all. I'm seriously forcing myself to eat so that I don't get sick and once again, I'm back to taking my ever loving time eating anything. I'm such a slow eater. Wednesday night my aunt Robin stopped by after work to sweep and take out the trash for me and she splurged and order us some pizza for dinner. I'm pretty sure it took me about three hours to get down to slices of pizza and two bread sticks.

Like I said, the recovery this go around has been rough but I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm so excited to see how I'm going to feel in just a few weeks. Now I get to deal with my anxiety about bathrooms outside of the home...lol.

Amazing News

Now that most of my family knows, I have some exciting news to share with everyone.

I had to reschedule my colonoscopy from Thursday to yesterday. I was a ball of nerves waiting for them to wheel me back to the procedure room and was on the verge of an anxiety attack when they finally came to get me.

I woke up from everything a little after 2:10 and by 2:14 I received word that I am 100% Crohns free. I couldn't contain it and just cried then and there. My doctor said that everything looked so good that had we not known that I had Crohns, you wouldn't have been able to tell that I do. While Crohns disease is not curable it is treatable and can go into remission. I'm in a complete remission and I pray that I can go many years without having any Crohns symptoms.

Not only does this mean I'm Crohns free for now, but it means surgery to reverse my ileostomy and mucous fistula are a go. I'm nervous for the surgery and recovery but I'm excited to be done with my bags for now. Hopefully I'll never have to have one again.

A little family update!

I've taken a big time break from blogging lately for no rhyme or reason other than I'm just not doing it. I would like to say that I'll get better about blogging but being a stay-at-home mom right now doesn't really give me a lot of new things to talk about. Everyday in this house is the same as the day before and is the same one the next. We're boring people. I thought I would give a little update to reassure everyone that we're alive and well.

We've had a few big changes here in our house. First of all is that we're are now a one dog home. We made the heart wrenching decision last month to surrender Toby and Lennon back to the Great Dane rescue. It is a decision that should have been made long ago but we just couldn't find it within ourselves to commit to it. Having two Great Danes both of which had issues just became to much, for me especially. Physically and mentally I just couldn't deal with them anymore. We have no fenced in yard, our lack of finances meant little to no vet care for them, and after being bitten by Toby late last year I was a nervous wreck around him. I just couldn't deal with it anymore and Daniel finally made the decision for us one morning and the deed was done. We all miss them, Bandit especially as he doesn't like being around the girls, but we know we made the decision that was best for both dogs.

Secondly, Addison is about 98% potty trained. I am so proud of my big girl I can barely stand it. She would use the potty off an on for the past year but she was never 100% into it. I didn't push the subject and kept telling everyone that when she was ready, she would do it and we would be golden. At her last well check up the doctor informed me that if a child wasn't potty trained by the age of three than it would be considered a behavioral issue and would need to be punished as such. The following week or so I gently nudged Addison into biting the bullet and making diapers a thing of the past. I was amazed at how quickly she caught on and I'm proud to say that from day one of that little nudging she's only had two accidents. She even gets up during the early part of the night to go potty.

She's able to go potty at night without assistance because awhile back we moved her into a big girl bed. She was probably ready awhile ago but to be honest, I wasn't. I thought for sure bedtime would become the biggest fight and that Daniel and I would never sleep again but she proved us wrong. We have the occasional issue with her getting up several times but she's pretty good about staying put. We even moved Cadence into her room because she felt so left out not getting a big girl bed yet. They have done pretty good together with the exception of a few of Addison's light night temper tantrums that wakes the living dead up and scares the holy you know what out of Cadence.

Speaking of my little Cadence Leah, she is this close to being ready to start full time potty training. Just today she went potty on the potty chair a total of four times. Addison never really used the potty chair so it became a step stool in their playroom. Today Cadence lugged it out into the living room, pulled her diaper off, and went to town. She was so proud of herself and what was even more precious is how proud her big sister was of her.

This is a big week for the little ladies. Tomorrow is not only Valentines Day, but it's Cadence's 2nd birthday. I just can't believe that she will be two years old. Sunday is Addison's 3rd birthday and once again...where did the time go? We do small little dinners/gathering on their actual birthdays and then go all out for one party with all of our friends and family. Their big party is on the 23rd and this years theme is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Their invitation is so adorable and I wish I could share it with you but it has all of our personal information on it and since I don't know how to blur it out, I think it's best to just keep it for us.

Daniel is doing great in the new position at work that he accepted last year around this time. He still isn't traveling as much as he would like but he finally had a prayer answered. He didn't like his boss or her inability to be a manager. His company made the announcement that she was moved from her position into another one in a completely different department just last week and he couldn't be more excited.

As for me I'm still about the same. My Crohns and everything that comes with it continues to be a daily struggle. My anxiety continues to be a real pain in the butt, even with medication and a good part of it centers around the girls and my fear of something happening to one of them out of my care. I could throw up just thinking about how close Addison is to being in pre-school and how soon she will be riding a bus without me or Daniel. I seriously don't know what I'm going to do with myself. My depression still rides the fine line between good and bad. I go through patches of doing really good and then BAM, something brings me down and I just can't get a handle on it. I received an official diagnosis of fibromyalgia just last week. It along with the my diagnosis of entropathic arthritis makes things frustrating at times. I lay in bed at night with my legs and feet just throbbing from the pain and inflammation. I've been prescribed a second depression medication that is supposed to help with the fibro, don't ask me how, and my Remicade treatments are now not just for my Crohns disease, but for the arthritis as well. I have another infusion tomorrow and I can't wait to be in a little less pain and to be a little more comfortable.

Next Thursday is a big day for me. I have a colonoscopy scheduled to determine whether my digestive system is healed enough to have my ostomies reversed. Between the prolapse of my ileostomy, breakdown of the skin around both stomas because I've become allergic to most of the backings to my appliances, and my inability to strain or do a lot of bending due to the prolapse...I'm just done with the whole thing. I can't even wear normal clothing because of these two stomas. I can't wear regular pants because the waistline falls right on top of my ileostomy causing pressure and then causing leakage and I have to wear long shirts to cover the bags since a lot of times I can't tuck them into my pants. I am ready for them to be gone so that I can wear jeans, take a bath, sleep on my side or belly, and most of all do something with myself other than sit on my butt. I've gained a stupid amount of weight even though I was told I would lose a bunch so I really need to be able to exercise again and get it back off.

Other than these few things we don't have much going on right now. Sometimes no excitement is better than excitement, right?

Happy New Year

I would like to wish all of my readers a very Happy New Year!!

We're partying hard on our end...pizza for dinner, freshly popped popcorn and potato skins for a snack, and we're comfortably sitting here at home, Daniel and I in our jammies and the girls are sporting their diaper/Dora underwear and dancing around.

A lot of people I know are out drinking and having a good time but there is truly no other place I would rather be than sitting here in my living room with my three favorite people drinking my water.

If you are one to be out drinking, please be smart and don't drive.

A few more Christmas pictures

Here are a few more pictures from our Christmas day festivities.

Addison opening up her new leap pad II.

So many presents.

Addison looking at pictures of her and her sister.

Mamaw cleaning up the ladies after our lunch.

Me and the husband.

The girls opening up presents at my grandma and grandpa's.

My sister Niki and my niece Ireland.

My nephew Dylan.

The kids opening up presents at uncle Dan and aunt Robin's.