And babies make three and four...

What makes the world go round?

2012-01-17T20:43:00.001-08:00

I think a big part of why I don't blog as often as I would like is because I feel like a blog post isn't complete without pictures. Unfortunately with a very active almost two and one year old, I don't take as many pictures on a day to day basis as I used to therefore I don't have a lot to share. I decided tonight before sitting down to write this post that I don't necessarily have to post lots of pictures, what is important is that I'm blogging our life for us to remember one day. I have lots of different things on my mind tonight, some dealing with the girls, me and my health, and various other topics so please bear with me if this post gets all over the place.

First up, the girls birthday party. I'm excited to say that I ordered and have received the proofs for both of their invites. Yay me!! I will be getting them printed off and hopefully mailed tomorrow. Which means this shindig will be official. I tossed back the idea of only having one invite made for the both of them, after all I'm only throwing one party for the both of them, but the cool Mom in me won out and decided that it was only fair to give them each their own invite. Especially since Addison had her very own first birthday invite and because I swore to myself before Cadence was even born that I would always do my best to individualize their birthdays no matter how convenient it would be to roll them into one. I'm already rolling their party into one so I wanted to at least do this one thing separately. Since ordering their invites, thank you etsy, I have also paid a visit to orientaltrading.com. Man I love that site, I ordered all of the dinner and dessert plates for their party along with a few decorations and some party favors. I received the e-mail today that my order is being shipped out. I know I have already said this, but I am so excited for this party. I've scaled back on my plans some as common sense told me I didn't need to spend money on items that we would only use once, or could make on our own. Scaled back plans also mean that instead of ordering a big fancy cake like I had originally dreamed of, Momma is going to be making cupcakes for the guests and ordering a small smash cake for Cadence. Watch for me on an upcoming episode of Cupcake Wars, this could be monumental folks...lol. Seriously though, I think the hardest part of this task is going to be getting the right colors when it comes to the icing, wish me luck.

Speaking of the big birthday party, I am starting to have a really hard time with the fact my babies aren't babies anymore. I just went through the pictures on my phone tonight and I just can't believe how much both girls have grown and changed in a year, especially Addison. A year ago she was still this little baby with chubby cheeks and chubby thighs. Now, well, she's a little girl. Her hair is long, her face and thighs have thinned out, and she can sass back like no other. The terrible two's are in full swing now and Lord help us, the child is a handful. We have days where she's an absolute joy to be around, listens to everything that we ask of her, loving and affectionate, just perfect. And then we have days where I do a lot of praying. A lot of praying for her safety because as much as I love that child, all I want to do is hog tie her to a chair with duct tape over her mouth. Does this make me a bad parent? It's not like I would ever actually do it, but boy do I have moments of wishing she came with a pause AND a mute button. Its these moments where I wish children came with manuals. Manuals that explained how to correctly punish your children and how to prevent such behavior. When she doesn't get her way she can throw a temper tantrum that makes you want to leave the house. Do you sit them in time out or do you put them in their crib until they have calmed down? Or better yet, do you just let them have the tantrum all while you go about your business as if nothing is wrong? I find myself just giving in to her at times because what I would like to say no to just isn't worth the experience of another tantrum. Today at the grocery I bought her a few snack items. I'm not sure what they are called but they come in a little package that she can suck the various flavored fruits out of. Immediately after seeing one she wanted to open it up and go to town. Now my better judgement was saying no, she didn't need it and to throw it in the cart. But then my common sense kicked in and said is it worth the complete meltdown in the middle of the store that I was about to experience had I have not given it to her, worth it? I'm not sure if I did the right thing by giving it to her, but it sure did save me the pain and embarrassment of one of her temper tantrums. Man, this parenting stuff sure can be hard at times and I do wonder if I'm going to make it out alive. I'm especially scared now because we've started to notice that even at eleven months old, Cadence is starting to throw what I will refer to as mini temper tantrums. She will lay flat on the ground, legs out, arms out...pretty much straight as a board, and begin to whine and lay her head down on the floor as if she was just plum tuckered out. It's funny now, but I imagine it may only get worse. All of this being said, my next topic of discussion will be found to be quite humorous...

I'm seriously going through baby withdraw. Go ahead laugh, I know you want to. The girls have us so busy right now I couldn't even imagine what adding a third would be like. I take that back, yes I can, it would be absolutely chaotic and I know full and well that having a third child right now would be the third biggest mistake that we have made in our marriage. Remember the house and the Chrysler were our first and second...lol. A few months ago if you would have asked me if we had plans for any future children I may have very well told you no, never! I know that's what Daniel's response would have been and if the decision was solely up to him that's what it would be even today. If it were up to him he would have already been snipped by now, if you know what I mean. He is quite content with our two little girls. Mommy on the other hand is not content. Most won't understand my way of thinking on this matter but I don't feel complete. My heart tells me that our little family isn't done growing yet and it also tells me that a third child for us means a son. Thankfully my husband loves our daughters so much that he has slowly come to terms with the fact he has to help me produce one more child...lol. Rest assured though, it won't be for a few more years. My body took a beating with two back to back pregnancies. Most women probably would have bounced back right away, but with my disease that wasn't the case and I have paid dearly for it. I honestly didn't realize how worn out my body was because of my pregnancies and the Crohns disease until they were pumping my body full of someone else's blood during my first hospital visit this past summer. Now I have come to terms with the fact I need to wait for a few years not only for my health, but for my sanity as well. I would like some time off from diapers and not sleeping through the night before I do it again. But I will say one thing, if one more person I know posts on facebook that they are pregnant and if I don't stop looking at pictures of the girls from when they were fresh out of my body babies, well lets just say my common sense may be thrown out the window.

Common sense. What a subject. I like to think that I have pretty good common sense, in fact I know that I have pretty good common sense. Sometimes I just don't listen to it. Example being...the Chrysler...I knew we shouldn't have bought it but I hated telling Daniel no so I went through with it. Don't you just hate that. Walking that fine line of decision making for the right reasons or the easy ones. I have lost a ridiculous amount of sleep over decisions that were either made and later regretted, or over decisions that need to be made. This in return causes me great deals of anxiety. One of the horrible side effects of my disease is that depression and anxiety is pretty 100% a given. Even without this wonderful disease I'm an anxious person by nature. I've mentioned it before, but I can take the smallest, most frivolous issue, and turn it into my worst nightmare. Issues that most people would just shrug off can make me sick for weeks. I can remember events growing up, things that I may have said or done that I have regretted, and at 28 years old still make me want to throw up or berate myself. It's absolutely ridiculous and I'm in the process of finding a good therapist because my Crohns doctor agrees its time for me to be medicated. I pray that I find one quickly because my anxiety level regarding my disease is at an all time high. I'm not sure if I have mentioned it or not but my new treatment for my Crohns disease, you know the one prepping me for surgery, involves needles. I have to give myself an injection every two weeks. The initial dosage requires four injections, two on day one, followed by two more the next day. I received my first set of injections on Christmas Eve. It took me almost a week to gather enough courage to give myself the first two injections and they were failures. I managed to inject the shots but the click of the epi pin was so loud that it scared the crap out of me and I ended up pulling the needle out, both times I might add, before any of the medicine was injected. I felt like such a failure and now I have allowed myself to get so worked up about it that here we are how many weeks later and I still haven't done any of my other injections. In fact it took me until today to re-order the two pens I wasted. I can't tell you how many times I have taken the pens out of the refrigerator to inject them and then just couldn't go through with it. I have even tried allowing my Mom to give them to me. When I allowed my Mom to do it I broke down into hysterical sobs and wouldn't let her come near me with them. Honestly, this is just not acceptable. I'm on vicodin for the pain that I am dealing with right now so one would would think that I would be able to handle the injections. I talked to my nurse a week ago about my issues and she said that this is pretty common. She is going through infertility treatments and has to give herself shots daily. She said the first time she tried to do her shots she cried like a baby and had to have her husband administer them. It made me feel better that even a nurse, who gives shots daily, was unable to give herself one. I pray that I am able to start doing these injections soon because I am sick to death of being sick. Hopefully a little medication for anxiety will help speed this process along. I am doing much better compared to how I was just a few months ago, but I still need to go further. I am still physically and mentally exhausted and it's not just acceptable anymore.

Are you bored to tears yet? It felt good to get some of my random thoughts that have been floating around in my brain out. Hopefully you don't think I'm crazy, even though I think I am just a little bit...lol. I promise my next post will come with a few pictures, its only fair after having made you just read all of the randomness above. I also have an exciting giveaway for you to participate in. I'm still working on the details for the actual post but if you would like to check them out beforehand its for a digital scrap booking download from mymemories.com. I love the idea of scrap booking but in reality I lack the motivation and skill required to actually do it. What's great about mymemories is that they pretty much do all the hard work for you, you just download and add your pictures. Stay tuned for the actual giveaway, my goal is to have it up by Friday.

Don't sweat the small stuff!

2012-01-10T20:52:00.001-08:00

I walked into 2012 thinking that it would be our year. I haven't been shy in letting everyone know our financial issues that started back in 2010 and continued through 2011. We gave up our house, or let me rephrase that, are still trying to give up the house. It's still legally ours however it shouldn't be much longer...fingers crossed. We gave up our last vehicle over the summer and yes I shed tears like a two year old when I handed over the keys to it. The Equinox was my first baby. The first major purchase that I had ever made without the help of my parents, it was the vehicle that drove us home from our wedding, and the vehicle that drove us to and from the hospital after being blessed with our two little girls. It stung saying good-bye but we made the adult decision that it was time and looking back I don't regret it especially since we made money off of it. Since saying good-bye to the Equinox, we had been driving and taking care of my Mom's truck. It's not just any truck. It's a man's truck, the truck that Daniel has drooled over for more years than I care to remember. It's an F-350 with the crew cab and extended bed. It's huge and I hate it. Yes the four of us fit perfectly inside and yes, it was free for us to use, but here are the things I hated about it. Point a, it only really fit the four of us. Since losing my father in law back in May we have tried really hard to remain a large part of my mother in laws life. We inlcude her in most all of our weekend plans and she is always ready and waiting to attend. I hated the fact that most times she would have to drive separate in order to play with us and on the few occassions she did drive with us she and the girls would be stuck in the back of the truck squished together like a bunch of sardines. Point b, have you ever tried doing a full blown grocery trip having a truck without a cap on the back therefore leaving you to put yourself, your husband, children, and groceries all in the actual seating portion of the vehicle? Doesn't work very well! Lastly, the thing I hated most about it, it wasn't ours. Don't get me wrong, I am 100% appreciative to my Mother for letting us use it. We're still using it and it is beneficial to her in the fact that its not sitting in the driveway rusting away like it had been. It's actually being used and taken care of now which from what I'm told, is good when it comes to trucks.

Now I bet you're wondering why I'm sharing all of this with you aren't you? Well it's late here and I don't want to keep you guessing or in suspense. I'm sharing this with you because as much as Daniel loves the truck, my hatred for it and his desire to finally have something back in our names won out. We are now the proud owners of a 2003 Yukon XL Denali. People, this thing is so large we can have three more children which means that there is plenty of room for my mother in law and all of our groceries.

What is funny is that this thing is a 2003 which means one thing...it's used. Shortly after I bought our Equinox brand new, we went out and bought a used Chrysler 300m. It was the second biggest mistake we have made in our marriage, our first was buying the shit piece of a house that we did. Within the first month of owning the car the transmission started to go, it continued to give us problems until the day we said good-bye to it. I swore up and down that we would never, ever, ever, buy a used vehicle again. EVER!!!

But lookey what we went and did, we bought another used vehicle. I'm one of those freaks of nature that like things to be in pristine condition. I don't like dents and scratches or things that don't match, please tell me I am not the only one. As you can imagine buying a vehicle that was brand new back in 2003, this baby has a scratch or two, has a little dent in the back, and the interior has a few cosmetic pimples. Issues that our once brand new Equinox was starting to develop...it happens when you drive a vehicle daily for years. As much as I cringe whenever I notice a new bump or bruise on the Yukon that I hadn't noticed prior, we've only owned it for a week so I'm still in the getting to know you phase, I have to keep remiding myself it's no big deal. What's important is that it runs and it's ours and to be honest, it really is in pretty good shape and man is it pretty. Daniel said he feels like he's running some secret service detail in it, it's black by the way, when hes out driving in it. His aunt said it looked like we were part of Dog the Bounty Hunters crew. I personally just feel like a spoiled soccer Mom in it...lol.

I've learned a lot this past week. We had what we thought was a major issue with our house, major issue as in neither Daniel or I slept Sunday night because of it. Come to find out after remaining calm and collective it was something that was easily rectified first thing Monday morning and now I just feel like a horses butt. But between the house drama, and it was drama let me tell you, and all of the little scratches and stuff I keep finding on the new ride I've realized something. I really need to stop sweating over such small and ridiculous issues that I have no control over. The stress that I cause myself because I make such a big deal over stupid stuff is getting out of control. I made myself sick with worry Sunday night only to have it work out perfectly the next morning and I still cringe every time I discover a new cosmetic issue with the Yukon. These things are out of my control so why do I allow myself to get so worked up? It isn't worth it. I have a roof over my head, a vehicle to drive, two beautiful and healthy daughters, and a loving and hardworking husband. I'm also able to put food on the table for my family every single day and health wise things are starting to improve, I have a lot more going on for me than what a lot of people do right now and for that I am thankful. So I'm adding to my New Years resolutions...Katie, don't sweat the small stuff!!!

I could just eat her up...

2012-01-06T20:28:00.001-08:00

You all remember when I said one of my resolutions for this New Year was to blog more?

You do. Well good, because here I am. I don't have a darn thing to say but I'm blogging anyway. Mainly because I took the most adorable picture of Cadence today and I must share it with the world wide web.

I'm sorry to all of you other parents out there, but seriously, is this not the most adorable child you have ever seen? I mean really, if she were any cuter I would have to take her to Build-a-Bear and have her stuffed and then I would have to buy her one of those overly priced bear outfits.

This child is such a ham, I promise you that whenever she sees me grab my camera she is straight up smiles. Sooo cute!!

I'm so in love with this picture that I have decided it's going to grace her first birthday invitation...that I still need to order by the way. We have less than two months for me to get myself into full on birthday motivation mode and I still have yet to take Addison's picture for her invite. The goal, keep fingers and toes crossed for me please, is to have the invites sent out together on the 18th. That will give people four weeks to clear their schedules and put us on their calendars!!

Happy New Years

2011-12-31T21:06:00.001-08:00

Happy New Years from my family to yours!

God has blessed me so much with my two little girls.

The years 2010 and 2011 were pretty rough for our little family financially and for me health wise, but 2012 is already looking up for us as we begin our fresh start. We are blessed with wonderful family and friends and they along with my husband and daughters make all of our past struggles seem small and frivolous.

Thank you for continuing to take this journey alongside of us via our blog. My resolutions for the new year are to blog more, send birthday cards and thank you cards instead of texts or e-mails, and to spend more quality time with family that I don't see on a regular basis.

What are some of yours?

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-26T20:11:00.000-08:00

This is the Christmas post that almost wasn't. I really don't understand why I have so much trouble posting using our laptop but I do. Thankfully Mom's desktop computer has been fixed and hopefully soon I will have ours fixed, so once they are back in the house up and running I will just use one of them. Maybe then I will blog more...just joking!! We all know that won't happen.

Anyway, yet another Christmas has come and gone. This year was one of the better Christmas' that we have had in a long time. I have always enjoyed the time that we spend with our family, isn't that the point of the holidays, but this is the first year in about five that we were actually able to buy presents for not only each other, but for our close family as well. It was also a welcome relief that we were able to be so generous with the girls. After scoping out some of my favorite family blogs I'm starting to think we were overly generous...lol. I know that next year since we will hopefully be back under our own roof instead of my Mother's that we may not be able to splurge quite like we did this year so that makes me feel a little better about this year. I can't tell you how excited I was to be able to get Daniel his Kindle Fire. He almost didn't get it until after Christmas but thanks to a very belated birthday check from my step-dad I was able to rush out and get it for him. I am pretty sure he was shocked to have gotten it which makes it that much better for me to have given it to him.

Christmas Eve this year was spent at my brother Steve's apartment. It was mind blowing for me to have my younger brother cook dinner for us and invite us into his first home. It's a reminder that we're all getting older...I still can't believe that I turned 28 this year. I might need medicated for the big 3-0.

Daddy helping the girls open their Christmas jammies on Christmas Eve. One of the traditions I started last year with Addison.

Daddy and Addison trying out the new Kindle.

Me and my precious girls on Christmas morning. We didn't get a single picture of Cadence in her Christmas jammies...baby girl woke up soaking wet.The girls trying out their new car and wagon before heading out to Mamaw's house for our Christmas lunch. We love doing lunch with my mother-in-law. This year to be different she served us a taco ring and taco's. I have to share the taco ring recipe with you because it was so good and it was so different from our usual holiday feast.

My beautiful little family of four. These three make every holiday for me special.

Mamaw and her girls. Santa not only spoiled the girls rotten at our house but she spoiled them rotten at her house as well. I can't tell you how fortunate I am to have such wonderful, generous people in my children's lives. Being a child of divorce I have enough family to keep us busy for every holiday, and often times we go without seeing some because there isn't enough time in the day. How blessed are we to have so many people love us and for us to have love them?

After visiting with Mamaw and Uncle Dusty for a few hours we always make our way to spend time with my Dad's family. The past two Christmas' have been spent at my Uncle Dan and Aunt Robin's where we feast, share gifts, and enjoy a few hours of togetherness. This year was no exception. My Aunt Robin made a lovely pork roast and a tender beef roast to go with my homemade coleslaw and my cousin Heather's awesome mac and cheese. Helping Aunt Heather open one of her gifts. We don't wrap the girls presents from Santa, which is fine by me because I hate wrapping presents, so they enjoyed helping unwrap gifts at Uncle Dan and Aunt Robin's. They weren't overly into it at Mamaw's house so I did most of the unwrapping there. Christmas chaos. Paper and presents everywhere, smiles on faces, and yummy food in bellies. What a way to spend a wonderful day!!

Now that Christmas has come and gone we have another celebration to start planning in our house. In less than two months we will be celebrating Cadence's first birthday and Addison's second. I CANNOT believe my little baby is going to be one and that my bigger baby will be two. My how time flies when you're having fun. I've decided that I am going to incorporate their parties into one since they have the same birthday week and this years theme is a circus event. We're having circus themed foods, games, maybe a clown and some face painting, and of course lots of balloons. I can't tell you how excited I am to throw this event. Thanks to pinterest I already have a few craft ideas that I need to get started on.

Our Visit with Santa

2011-12-21T18:04:00.000-08:00

Sunday we took the girls to see Santa. This was Addison's second visit but Cadence's first. Addison did really well visiting him last year, but like with Cadence, we weren't sure how this years visit was going to go.

Overall the visit went really well. It was just our luck though that as we went to sit down, we did our family shot first, the photographers equiptment went down and everything had to be rebooted. It took about twenty minutes or so that meant just sitting there waiting. Addison was very apprehensive of him and it required her sitting on my lap for the family shot. She did sit next to him during the shot of just the two girls, but we got two chances and two chances only before she had had enough of the big guy.

As you can see Cadence just loved it. She could have cared less about the big guy and she actually stayed on his lap and just hung out during the twenty minute wait. She literally just kicked back and rested her head on his chest and everything...it was so cute. Addison on the other hand stayed as far away from him as possible and she enjoyed playing with the basket of stuffed animals that they were handing out to each child. The nice thing about our twenty minute wait was that she got to give several animals a test drive before she settled on which one she and her sister were taking home...lol.

We randomly did a family shot last year and because I enjoyed how well it turned out I decided that we would make it a yearly tradition. I bought a pretty Christmas frame from my favorite store ever...Kohls, and each year I plan on adding our newest picture with Santa. I know we will get a kick out of seeing how the girls grow and Daniel and I change through the years when I add each picture. Now if only it wasn't so darn expensive to get pictures taken with Santa we would be all set.

Just in case I don't post again until after Christmas...I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas. Please be safe in your travels and remember to savor each moment with your children and families.

I was a little slow in the Christmas card process this year so our family decided to send out New Year's cards. Be sure to check back next week to get a sneak peak at our lovely little card. Shutterfly has an awesome selection of cards and I am really impressed with our card. I wish that I could send each and every one of you an actual card but I only bought twenty five and those babies weren't cheap...lol.

Real Housewives of Dayton

2011-12-14T16:53:00.000-08:00

How many of you watch Bravo's Real Housewives shows, raise your hands? How many of you follow blogs of stay at home Mom's, raise your hands?

My hand is risen for both of the above questions. Watching the shows and following certain blogs is my guilty pleasure. I'll admit to it, I'm not afraid.

Now how many of you sit back and wonder, or in my case wish, that you could always looks so well put together as most of these women do? That would be me! I always sit back and wonder just how they do it. They always have their hair and make up done wonderfully, and their outfits, I mean who wouldn't want to always be that stylish. I know I would.

I know a few of the blogs that I follow these women actually set their alarms to get up an hour before their children just so they can get their hair and makeup done? Seriously? I'm all about getting as much sleep as possible around here and if that means skipping that hour of Mommy prep than so be it. Now I'm not trying to being harsh or disrespectful to any of them, I'm just trying to keep it real when it comes to this particular housewife.

In reality, I wish I had the motivation that these women do. We don't really have a schedule around here. We are usually up and out of bed between the hours of nine and ten which is a miracle I know! I'm spoiled that the girls allow me to sleep that long...this sick and worn out Momma needs it. Cadence goes down for a nap around noon and Addison follows about an hour or so later. We fly by the seat of our pants around here. I wish we had a better schedule...I wish I was like all of those other blogging Moms. Unfortunately that's not our reality right now. I place a lot of the blame on my current health issues. I'm fighting the battle of my life with this disease and until my surgery and recovery period I just don't see it any other way. My Crohns disease is dictating our schedules.

I do have days where I get dressed, fix my hair and makeup, but I'm going to be honest with you...it's usually because I have errands to run or doctors appointments to make. Most days, well, I look like this...

...my hair is a complete mess, I have no makeup on, and I'm still wearing the clothes I slept in. Lord how I love my lounge pants! It also shows the lovely fingerprints all over the fireplace doors...HAHA. I'm still losing weight so I'm liking the fact that I'm looking thinner, however, one of the side effects of taking steroids is that it makes your face nice and round as you can see. Maybe if I put my makeup on and did my hair it wouldn't be so bad...lol.

I'm not really sure the purpose of this post. I think it's because so many of us sit back and fantasize about these women and the lives that they live. We wish that we could go to fancy tea parties during the day and elaborate parties in the evenings dressed in our finest gowns like the Beverly Hills Housewives do. But then I remember that we only see what they want us to see on those silly shows and that on the blogs I follow I only see the pictures that the blogger wants us to see. They don't always show us the pictures of them without their hair and makeup done, still sporting their jammies but I imagine even they have days like mine...just not as often...lol. As much as I would love to have those tea parties to attend and as much as I would like to get dolled up, that's not my reality. My reality is shown in the picture above and other than wishing that I could for once be healthy...I wouldn't have it any other way. I love spending my days with my girls and sitting in the middle of the playroom floor with Addison playing with her plastic tea set is just fine by this Momma. Plus, the girls don't care what I look like or what I'm wearing...they just love their Momma the way she is and for that I am truly blessed.

So go ahead and take a look at the picture above, I'm not ashamed...I'm just keeping it real.

It's looking like Christmas around these parts...

2011-12-13T12:42:00.001-08:00

The Sunday after Thanksgiving we went out and purchased our Christmas tree. I can't tell you how excited I was to be out hunting for the perfect tree for the first time in way too many years. I also can't believe I was doing it with two little girls in tow. That particular Sunday was awesome. Warm enough that we just needed light weight jackets and wouldn't freeze our behinds off.

Cadence could have cared less what we were doing but Addison got a bit of a kick walking around pulling out trees to examine them. I can't wait until their both older and can really get into the tree picking experiencing. It was always a big deal for us growing up, especially since we usually had more than one tree. Christmas was always one of my Mom's favorite holidays...pretty much the only holiday that we decorated for. When we moved to the farm all those years ago it wasn't unusual for us to have three live trees in the house. We loved us some Christmas trees.

This year we decorated the tree with white lights which flicker off and on, it is so pretty. We also have stuck with a red, green, and silver theme. Most of our ornaments are still in the attic of our old house, which we really need to go and get, but we did receive four really nice ones this year at our annual ornament exchange at Thanksgiving. I also bought some new, cheap, and most importantly, shatter proof ornaments, to add to our collection. Addison really enjoyed helping decorate and for the most part she's leaving the tree alone, as is her little sister. I think the Great Danes have broken more ornaments in previous years than what the girls hopefully will. Dog with long tail+glass ornaments=BAD IDEA!!!

Here is our lovely tree, which honestly is so perfect it saddens me that we will eventually have to drag it to the bonfire pile. It is just the right height and width. The smell is unbelievable and by far my favorite Christmas time scent. As I was admiring it today it made me sit and think about how many trees are cut down each year, just to be dragged to the trash after a month or so. I wonder how many trees are cut down each year? I'm still planning on purchasing a nice fake one after Christmas this year to try to be "green", but I can't make any promises that we won't ever purchase another real one. I just get a kick out of going out each year and picking that perfect one. Maybe one day we will find a place where they come with some of their roots and we can keep it alive and plant it in the coming spring? Just a thought!

Turkey Day 2011

2011-11-26T10:03:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it but yet another holiday has come and gone. Don't you remember growing up? How the year seemed to just drag on and on. It was if Thanksgiving and Christmas, especially Christmas, would never get here. Now as an adult I find myself wondering where previous days and months have gone. They just seem to fly by now.

Thanksgiving was a wonderful day for us. I have so much to be thankful for even if I do have this dark cloud called Crohns disease hovering above me at all times. As hard as I try to not dwell on my condition it always sneaks its way into my thoughts. I tried to keep myself medicated during our festivities which took place on both Thursday and Friday, but I did end up sick towards the end of our day Thursday. I didn't think I was going to survive the drive home. It seems like the more I hurt, the more bumps in the road there are.

I did manage to snap a few pictures of our two day event. I think my family is becoming more and more appreciative of the fact that I take pictures of every function. I managed to coax my sister Megan into taking a picture of Daniel and I with the girls. I love it and would love it even more if my husband would stop being such a darn scrooge when it comes to pictures and actually smile once in awhile. Addison not having her fingers in her mouth would have been a nice touch as well but what can you do, right? Don't you love the girls matching outfits? I know I will only be able to do such a thing for a few years, if that, before they both start forming their own outfit opinions. My MIL loves purple so I made sure we wore the purple outfits on Thursday which was where we spent half of our day. We spent the other half with my Mom's side of the family at my Aunt Linda's home.

Friday we spent with my Dad's side of the family. My sister Nikki and her husband recently moved three hours away from home so that he could begin working at a new job. This was the first we had seen them and my nephew Dylan in awhile and I was happy to get to spend a few hours with them before they head home sometime this weekend. Nikki is expecting their second baby who is due March 7th. This birth is already giving me anxiety...lol. She had a tough time delivering Dylan and now that I will be almost three hours away, there is a good possibility that I may not make it down there for this one. I just can't see myself traveling three hours away being as sick as I am. I honestly don't think I could handle that long of a drive. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I will be healthy enough to help welcome this newest edition to our family.

Speaking of babies...I swear I just had this one. Cadence is another fine example of time flying by. I can't believe she is nine months old now. Look at how big she is. Daniel's been getting a real kick out of her these past few days. She can now clap on command and he thinks its awesome. Addison went to town on her Thanksgiving dinner last year, which would have put her at nine months as well. For whatever reason Cadence just didn't care about it this year. I think we are behind with giving her "big people" food so it's partly our fault. Even though Addison is only a year apart from Cadence I still find myself wondering things such as when we started Addie on solids, big people food, and forget when she started to crawl and walk. We keep trying to compare the girls to one another developmentally and have to remind ourselves that each of our little ladies is different. No matter what, they are both so darn cute I can barely stand it. I am so lucky that God chose me as their Mommy. Below is Daddy with his mini-me. Daniel can try to deny Addison as she is my spitting image, but Cadence, Cadence is all Daddy.

"Here Daddy, let me try to do something with your hair."

Addison with her cousin Dylan. I'm pretty sure their related...lol. I still can't get over how big they are. Dylan turned two in October and Addison will be two in February. Slow down babies...slow down!!

Every Thanksgiving for the past few years, the Murphy's have done an ornament exchange after dinner. I started the tradition a few years ago when Daniel and I started hosting Thanksgiving dinner in our home. I figured it would be a way to kick off the Christmas season. I took pictures this year of everyone and their ornaments.

Look at my Uncle Dan and Aunt Robin...she's actually smiling for her picture. Uncle Dan loves doing the exchange, even though they don't need a holiday kick off. It's Christmas at their house all year long. Just call them Mr. & Mrs. Claus. It's not a far fetch if you really think about it, just look at Uncle Dan's beard...lol. Plus they were wearing red.

With the end of the Thanksgiving holiday comes the beginning of Christmas at our house. Daniel and I are some of the few remaining that refuse to decorate before Thanksgiving. He was just complaining the other day that some of the stores were already putting out the Christmas decor. Even the radio station that plays 24 hours of Christmas music until Christmas started playing it before Thanksgiving. I just want to savor each holiday individually so I refuse to rush them along by overlapping them. I think part of the Christmas appeal is that it only comes once a year. For me it makes me enjoy it and savor all that it is about all the more during that time. I feel if we add days to the celebration it will make it less meaningful. That's just how I feel though so if you are one of the ones who put your tree up before turkey day, go about your business, I'm not judging you!!

The end of Thanksgiving also means time to start shopping. Daniel and I are both really excited this year. Addison is big enough now to realize, to an extent, what's going on. We have some really great gifts idea for both girls this year and I can't wait for Santa to bring them. Of course we have to wait for Santa to get paid again, but I imagine everyone can relate to that.

Here's to a great Christmas kick off. I hope everyone enjoys the next month as much as I plan on trying to. Mine will consist of vicodin and phenegran cocktails, but I'm going to try to enjoy my days to the best that my body will allow me! Tonight is day one for us. We're getting pizza with family and afterwards...we're going to buy and decorate our tree!!! Growing up we always had real trees at my Mom's house and they were always my favorite. Just the smell alone makes having one worth it. Daniel's family does the fake tree route which is fine, especially since prior to this year we had been using a fake tree that his Mom gave us a few years back when financially we weren't able to buy a tree. I've decided that for this year we're going to get a real tree and after all of the fake trees go on sale after Christmas, we're going to purchase a nice big, full, fake one, and we're going to alternate between fake and real every Christmas. That way we can enjoy the best of both worlds.

I'm falling apart Part II

2011-11-23T11:39:00.000-08:00

In April of 2008 we said good-bye to my Grandma Murphy. There are no words to describe my feelings for this woman. She was the back bone of our family and the one we all always ran to in our times of despair and happiness. She was our rock and now she was gone and we were all distraught. I'm not sure if her death and the grief and stress that it caused me is what caused my Crohns to flare or not but I imagine it didn't help me. Lord forgive me for even thinking it or writing that down here on this blog. If she for one minute thought she was responsible for making me sick she would be rolling in her grave. She scolded us all in the hospital after we all realized we were nearing the end with her, for crying over her. Even upon her death her main focus was her two boys, her daughter in law, and her three girls. Forget the rest of them...nobody and I mean nobody, loved her the way the six of us did and I can guarantee that they don't sit in their homes even to do this day still crying for her. Crying like I just did this past Thursday. Wishing that for just a few minutes I could have her back. Have her back in her house, in her recliner, with her stash of candy just down the hall. To be able to stand beside her in her chair, bending down to kiss her good-bye, while squeezing her hand. Her small, soft, cold, wrinkly hand. The hands that cooked so many meals and held mine so many times.

This past Thursday is when my reality set in. It only took three years. Three years of suffering endlessly, of taking medications with side affects far worse then my disease. The mass on my liver they discovered back in 2005 is just that, just a fatty mass, not cancer. I dodged a bullet. I dodged a bullet only to begin taking medications that may one day give me cancer. I was sick but not miserable between my diagnosis and before my Grandma's death. But Grandma passed away and with her death brought the symptoms of this disease that I thought I would never deal with.

Blockages that required hospital stays, pain and bloating that is severe enough to drop an elephant to their feet, exhaustion that just can't be described. And nothing helped me, none of these terrible medications that may one day kill me, not changing my diet. NOTHING! And through all of this, my Grandma's death, being sicker then I've ever been, I also faced another challenge. I was desperate to become a Mother. I wanted what my Grandma had...I wanted that love and compassion...I never wanted to be alone again. We had been trying to conceive a child even before our wedding. We actually started trying casually the day we learned our offer had been accepted for our home. We figured we had all these extra bedrooms...we may as well put them to some use...lol. A pregnancy never happened though and then I got sick and distracted and finally in 2009 when I just couldn't handle everything all together anymore I gave up. I said to God, "God, if it's meant to be, I know it will be. I'm going to get better and then we're going to see Doctors to fix whichever one of us has the problem and then we're going to have a baby!" And with that a 300 pound weight lifted from my shoulders and with a sigh of relief I moved on. And just a few weeks later Addison Grace Blankenship started growing inside me. I was still sick but God blessed me anyway.

My pregnancy was pretty uneventful. Like I said I was still sick but with each month my sickness eased a bit. I gave birth to my healthy baby girl in February of 2010. I'm not sure if it was because I was on cloud nine from finally becoming a Mother or what, but I don't remember if I was still sick or not. I'm sure I was but since I had this bundle of joy to occupy my time and thoughts I must not have dwelled on my sickness much. I was so overwhelmed with joy that three months later we did it again, we were pregnant with our Cadence Leah. For more years than I want to remember we struggled with infertility, we questioned whether we would ever be blessed with the joy of parenthood and here we were, not only parents to our beautiful baby girl, but we were going to be parents for a second time. I do remember having issues again with my Crohns, like I said, I don't think they ever really went away, I think they just got muddled in the back of everything else that was going on in my life. I was a new Mom, was expecting my second child, had just lost my job, and had just made the decision to walk away from our home and move in with my Mom in order to save money and stay at home with my children. I had a few episodes during my pregnancy with Cadence that left me unable to care for Addison. I truly believe that God works in mysterious ways. I know God played a big part in the timing of my pregnancies and my lay off. There's a reason why all of this happened when it did and I now know why we are living with my Mom.

I was one of the lucky few women who's Crohns disease tend to go into a remission like state during pregnancy. For that I am thankful. Unfortunately I am one of the many who go into serious flares after delivery. My body didn't really have time to flare after Addison's birth before I got pregnant again. But boy oh boy, has it caught up with me.

I've been in this flare since 2008 and now I am at a point of no return. In April of this year the symptoms that had left me so miserable before Addison's conception, slowly started showing their ugly faces again. Pain, nausea, bloating that is so horrendous you think your stomach is going to explode, constipation followed by extreme bouts of diarrhea, intestinal blockages, fever, night sweats, vomiting, weight loss, blood loss, and vitamin deficiency. All at the same time, at all hours of the day...morning, noon, and night. Never any relief.

My first hospital visit of the year took place in August where they discovered after all of these years of severe inflammation, my colon had started to form an abscess that instead perforated. I had a hole in my colon which was allowing my waste to leak into my body. I had a major infection, required three blood transfusions, and stayed for four days in the hospital. The perforation was so small that the hope was that anti-biotics, steroids, and new medication to treat my disease would allow it to close without surgery.

I was back in the hospital for another four day stay in September after a CT scan showed that the perforation was still there. I was once again released without surgery and on another round of medication. Between the start of this process and now I have lost almost fifty pounds which is unheard of while on steroids. I have had days where I have begged God to take me home and then begged for forgiveness for my weakness. I have experienced pain that is so unbearable I can't be in the same room as my daughters because the slightest touch or sound of their whines or cries throws me into a panic attack. I have had moments of dread at the thought of my husband returning home from work because I am so physically exhausted the thought of making him dinner or asking him how his day went is just to much for me to handle. I spend hours by myself in the evenings laying in my bed while my family spends times together in the playroom, all because the pain is so unbearable that I need complete darkness and silence to allow me enough strength to concentrate on getting through it. I sit rocking back in forth in my bed with a fan blowing for those moments of when my fevers break and I am drenched in sweat. Moments during the night where my fevers get so high that my body shakes so out of control it hurts. Those very same moments where I feel so cold that no matter how many blankets I lay under, no matter how thick my socks, or heavy my sweatshirt...the chill just won't go away. And then my baby awakens from her sleep looking for her last bottle of the night and I have to beg God to give me the strength to get out of bed to get her one and then beg him once again so that she'll fall back asleep right away, all so that I can be miserable in peace.

This past Thursday, when I cried for my Grandmother, I cried because it's time. My biggest fear has arrived, my reality has set in. My luck has run out, or at the least, I've realized that it's never been about luck. I need surgery. I need surgery in order to get better, yet I'm so ill, I can't have it.

There are no more medicines to fix me, only to heal me enough to withstand a major and very complicated surgery. I can have the surgery now, but a surgery now means being hours away from home. It means wearing a bag attached to my side collecting my waste. It means losing feet upon feet of my intestines. It means being hospitalized for weeks. It means months of recovery. It means a second surgery in the future.

For now, I am waiting. I am waiting in hopes that my new medication, that I will self inject, will start to heal me. I am waiting and praying that no further damage is done to my kidneys which have been affected. I am waiting in hopes that a surgery can be delayed long enough that the surgery can take place here in Dayton. I am waiting in hopes that this medicine does heal me and that I won't need a bag. I am waiting in hopes and prayers, that these next few weeks that my Doctor has given me to show signs of improvement, that my suffering is minimal. I am tired of suffering. I'm tired of days where I can't properly interact or take care of my girls and husband. And mostly, I just really, really want to enjoy my holidays with my family and I would really like to do it without having to drug myself just to get by.

Even through this all, I am constantly reminded that things could be worse. While there is no cure for my disease, it is treatable. The side effects that I will one day face because of this disease aren't something that I'm looking forward to, but at least I will be alive. I will be alive, and while I may not be well, I will be able to watch my children grow and prosper. I thank God for that and I scold myself for cursing his name when I am at my darkest depths. One of the hardest things about my disease is that it is invisible to most. I've lost all of this weight and everyone keeps complimenting me on how great I look. When I fix my hair and put on makeup and have a smile on my face I look healthy. Only my closest family knows the truth. They are the ones that can tell by the look in my eyes or by the way I have my hands clenched when I am not doing good. They are the ones who can tell by the sound of my voice when I'm trying to get through the pain without bringing attention to myself. They are the ones who have walked this journey with me. They have spent countless hours waiting for me to get out of the bathroom, sitting by my bedside in the ER and hospital. They are the ones that know that when I am around they can't fiddle fart around in the bathroom because we never know when I will need to use it. Many would find that funny, but they know the anxiety it gives me and they take it seriously. I swear, if it weren't for my mom and husband right now I would have been to the hospital many more times this year. They have picked up the slack when I have dropped the ball. There have been a few days these past few months where I literally just couldn't get out of bed. I could barely raise my head from my pillow. On those days is when my Mom turns into super Grandma and takes over caring for the girls while I sleep it off. Its those days when I realize that I lost my job for a reason, and that there is a reason why we walked away from our home and moved in with her when we did.

It's because God knew this was on my horizon...

I swear I'm falling apart here!!

2011-11-22T10:15:00.000-08:00

I thought I would give an update on my current health situation. I know some people are interested in the details and since I'm not shy, why not share, especially if it might help others understand this cruddy disease.

I guess I'll start from the beginning so that everyone knows when I started on this journey.

I can't remember a time when I didn't have issues with my stomach. I remember as far back as third grade having those moments of worry. One of the biggest issues I face with this disease is the fear that it causes. The fear of having to use the restroom and there not being one available or having to use it and not being able to. As you can imagine being a small child and having that fear puts a damper on being a student. Always worrying about whether your teacher would allow you to use the restroom in the middle of class or a test if needed. My health was never serious back then, I was just always in the restroom. My Grandma Murphy affectionately called it my office and upon her death a few years ago, my family thought it was appropriate that I be given her stash of toilet paper. She was a child of the depression era and she liked to keep stocked up on supplies...lol.

I guess it was because my issues never got severe that my parents never thought it was necessary to take me to the Doctor. I often wonder how different my life would be had I have been diagnosed with my disease as a child. Would I have done better in school, would I have excelled in sports, had boyfriends...gone to my senior prom? Most importantly, would my health have detorirated as quickly as it has in the last five or six years if we had been treating it since childhood?

I was barely twenty-one when I started getting seriously sick. It started slowly and by the spring of 2005 it was in full swing. I was in constant pain, unable to eat therefore losing drastic amounts of weight, there were times when I was so weak I couldn't even stand up. Through it all I refused to admit I had a problem. I would wake up each morning telling myself it couldn't continue, that I would give it one more day and I would be better. It didn't get better, it got worse. I had times when I couldn't control my bowels, moments that I didn't even realize because it just happened. Never in public thank God.

We had just said good-bye to my Grandma Hockman, I had just moved in with my cousin Heather into our Grandma's house, and most importantly, Daniel and I had just started dating that spring. Can you imagine the fear I was facing and also trying to hide it from the boy that I liked? This went on for months. Heather and I had a lovers spat, which we tend to do every few years, we're so much alike its ridiculous somtimes and we have horrible, horrible Murphy tempers...lol. I moved in with Daniel and then all hell broke lose. I was so sick one night, I was almost uncoherent, unable to get off of the couch. It was then that I knew I couldn't go on any further. I knew I had a problem and I needed to get help. I made an appointment for the following Monday afternoon.

Obviously making an appointment was the right thing to do, but I knew for sure it was the right thing to do after going out to dinner with my Mom and Step-Dad for my birthday dinner. Two or three bites into my meal and I was ready to die, they both looked at me and I remember my Step-Dad saying it was time to see the doctor. Here are two of the people who ignored that I was sick growing up finally realizing that maybe I was afterall and that it was time for me to get help.

Fast forward to that Monday. I barely made it through work that day, did I mention that I worked full time during this entire ordeal. I still to this day don't know how I did it, but I did. I will forever remember that appointment as it became quite memorable. The place was packed, no bathroom in the waiting room...Crohns patients HATE that by the way, and they were running behind. I remember signing in for my appointment and watching each and every person sign in after me and then it happened. A person who had signed in well after I had, got called back to see the doctor before I did. Lord in heaven I about came unglued, actually marched my sick self up to the receptionist and asked what in the hell was going on. I caused a scene and didn't give a care in the world, that's how sick I was. Normally I don't like bringing attention to myself. It worked though...I got called back right away...lol. The nurse stopped me in the hall to check my weight, height, and lastly my temperature. She took my temp, looked at me and said "uh, you are most definately sick aren't you?" "No lady, I just thought I would drop by for a visit!" I didn't really say that, but I thought it gosh darn't. The adventure got better though, they had a girl come in and check all my vitals and stuff. She was a student and it was her very first day on the job. The head nurse decided that I needed to have some blood drawn and thought it would be a good idea for the student nurse to give it a shot. We didn't know then how hard of a stick I was nor did we realize how dehydrated I was. Poor girl, she didn't stand a chance. I passed out and had what they think was a full blown seizure. HA, scared the girl so bad that they told me she never came back to work...lol. I guess if you can't stand the heat then get the heck outta the kitchen right?

I knew I was in big trouble shortly thereafter when I heard my Doctor on the phone with the hospital. They wanted to send me by ambulance but I had my car there and I just wasn't mentally prepared for that. He allowed me to go home but I was to be at the hospital for testing by 7 o'clock that night. My Mom and Grandma Roock went with me and by the time we were done I was exhausted and miserable. Mom had the audacity to stop by Taco Bell on the way home, now if that isn't cruel I don't know what is.

Monday came and went and Tuesday was a new day, a new day to drag myself into work. Did I mention I was new to this full time job and had no time off of work? Once again, not sure how I managed to do it but I did. I got through the day and was on my way home when my phone started going crazy. Everyone was looking for me because apparently my company received a call looking for me, still to this day don't know if it was the hospital or the doctor, but because I wasn't answering my work phone, they paged me. The page went to twelve different buildings and since I worked with half my family and they knew I was sick, they got crazy. They called my Mom and she called me. Of course when I called the Doctor to see what was going on they had no clue about a phone call and had no news for me. It drove my Mom crazy and she in return drove me crazy because I had no clue what to tell her.

The phone call came that evening and the only part that I remember hearing from my doctor was that they had discovered a mass on my liver but he was pretty confident that it wasn't going to be cancer. Cancer...he had said the word that I had feared the most during this entire time. All of those moments when I was in so much pain I thought I could be dieing were becoming reality. Maybe I really was that sick? How in the world was I going to get through this and most importantly how was I going to call and tell my Mom who was currently sitting in the high school bleachers watching my brothers play soccer? Especially since we had just had a cancer scare with one of my brothers who had discovered a lump on his neck. Two kids sick in such a short time span...I couldn't imagine. I made the call and I still to this day do not remember a single word I spoke or single word she spoke. After the call I sat quietly on the front porch waiting for them to return home. I don't remember what my thoughts were other than that I was scared to death. I do remember them getting home and one by one my brothers, sister, Mom...who had been clearly crying, and my step-dad marched passed. Each one with a look of distress and not knowing what to say. My step-dad was the last one in and before going through the front door he bent down, put his hand on my shoulder, and told me everything would be ok and proceeded inside. This side of my family does not do emotion. We don't hug and kiss and say I love you. We know we're loved, we just don't show it or express it so you can imagine for me what that hand on my shoulder meant. That hand on my shoulder was my hug, it was my kiss, it was my I love you, it was me realizing that they were just as scared. My Mom reached out to my Aunt who had battled thyroid cancer and she came down in hopes to reassure me that everything would indeed be ok. We didn't even know if I had cancer for sure but we knew things were going to be scary.

I made a call that night to my boss and left her a very detailed message about what I had been dealing with and what was going to be taking place. I stressed that I was fearful of losing my job and losing my insurance but told her I didn't know what else to do. She called me that morning and actually scolded me for not telling her sooner how sick I had been and reassured me my job was not in jeapordy. She told me about FMLA and told me how to go about obtaining it through our HR department. She took a weight off of my shoulder is what she essentially did. I cried and held her tightly when I had to say good-bye to her a few months later after she had learned she had been laid off from the company.

I had an appointment with a digestive specialist that day, which once again I won't forget. My Mom, Grandma, and Aunt went with me and I remember the four of us being stuffed into a tiny exam room where we discovered that I had somehow stepped in dog poop before my appointment. Talk about embarrassed...the smell was horrendous and I can only imagine what the doctor and nurse must have thought. I also remember the poor nurse when she was trying to schedule my very first colonoscopy and my Mom telling her to make it late in the afternoon because she had to take a nap. Seriously, I could be on my death bed Mother and we are scheduling things around your nap schedule??

Anywho, we made the appointment, I spent the next day doing my prep. The drink was horrible, and the day spent in the bathroom was even worse...talk about having a sore tushy! Friday came without fail, I was a little nervous about my first colonoscopy. I mean seriously, who likes the thought of having their tush in full view for some strange doctor to view? All I could think of was, is it clean enough, do I have any unsightly blemishes and then I would remind myself that surely there are worse looking butts out there than mine! At least mine wouldn't be hairy!! HAHAHA

My nurse was awesome, she got my IV in on the first try and I remember that it didn't hurt one bit. I actually asked her if she could always be the person who gave me shots and IV's and then they wheeled me back. Of course I don't remember much after that...hello propofol or whatever that lovely white liquid is called. I know why Michael Jackson liked you so much!! Only my Mom can really tell the story after this point. I was so drugged I don't remember much. Apparently I asked the same question over and over again. If you have ever had a colonoscopy done you know they won't release you until you start, dare I say it, pass gas. She kept telling me to pass gas but wasn't really rushing me at this point. That was until they wheeled in the 300 lb. hairy, middle aged man who was brought in by his Mom. He wasn't shy about passing the gas like I was, and after he started Mom was hell bent on getting outta there and quickly. Seriously, this story gets told at almost every holiday dinner and each time is like the first, she can barely get through the story because she finds it so freaking funny.

Of course things weren't so funny after the Doctor delivered the diagnosis. I don't remember either of us saying much and honestly, I don't think it really upset me as much as it would have now. I was young and after years of always wondering if my problem truly was in my head and not a reality, here I was with a diagnosis. My problem had a name and being truly naive, I assumed there would be a cure or at the least medication that would make me all better and I would never have to worry about going to the bathroom again, right? RIGHT? Wrong!

If I only knew then what I know now, my reaction would have been much different. I wasn't stupid, I knew all about the complications. I knew most would endure at least one surgery because of this disease but I was different. I was going to be that person who was always going to be lucky. I wasn't going to get that sick ever again... I was never going to have to deal with a scary surgery...and I could continue to eat and do whatever I liked. And then 2008 happened and reality hit me upside the head.

To be continued...

Wutch ya doin'?

2011-11-17T11:50:00.000-08:00

Posting pictures first because I don't have the patience to rearrange them throughout the post...lol.

Laptop-check, cell phone-check, all set to do some business!!

Grins and giggles as usual!

Addison, I mean Dorothy...

Eating dinner like a big girl!

Chewing on the cord to the shot vac, no it wasn't plugged in.

I'm getting pretty good at this once every few months posting deal aren't I? Seriously, I have good intentions of blogging and then something always distracts me and I don't get around to it. I'm still planning on combining both the food blog and this baby blog about our little family but I'm still in the process. So for now, I'm going to post here about whats been going on with our family!

Where do I even begin? First off, I'm still dealing with the perforation in my colon. We've been treating it since August and it has left me physically and mentally drained. They've given me stronger pain meds because the pain just got unbearable and I completed my third CT scan yesterday afternoon. As of right now I haven't gotten the results back yet. I know full and well I could call my Doc and he could go in and review them today but my gut is telling me that my colon is still perforated so to be honest, I'll wait the extra day or so to hear for sure or not. Surgery will definitely come into play if this thing doesn't heal, I'm just not sure how much longer my doctor and the surgeon will keep postponing it. As scared as I am of the surgery, more importantly the recovery, I'm to the point that if we are going to do this, I would rather just get it done and over with. Especially since we've already met our out of pocket expenses this year with our medical insurance...thank you to 3, yes 3, almost $30,000 (each) hospital stays for me...one belonged to my delivery with Cadence. Anyway, keep praying for me that my body heals. My inability to do anything right now is really taking its toll on not only me, but my husband and mother as well who have had to pick up my slack. I'm not kidding, I made dinner yesterday, completed my scan, and washed Daniel's bedding and I was EXHAUSTED by the time we actually ate dinner. Of course taking care of a very active toddler and a now crawling baby doesn't help my exhaustion...lol.

Now on to the important stuff...little girl updates, up first Addison.

Addison is officially 21 months old as of today...happy birthday sweetie! We are full swing in the terrible two's and if I manage to make it through this perforation alive and well, it's Addison and her temper/attitude that will do me in. I don't even know where to begin with this child. You absolutely cannot let her out of your sight because it's amazing the things she is able to get into. We can now climb. What started out as climbing and sitting on the end tables in the living room, climbing onto the kitchen table via the chairs, has now evolved into climbing on top of the kitchen counters thanks to the bar stools. She has also learned to climb out of her crib, which has the changing table attached to it, so we've switched her crib with Cadence's and so far it seems to be working. She does not like the word no, at all, and her usual response to no involves screaming at the top of her lungs and throwing herself to the ground. It also occasionally involves throwing things and hitting her sister, poor Cadence. We keep telling Addison that one day, Cadence will be big enough to hit her back and it's not going to be pretty. She loves food and will eat just about everything that her Daddy and I will...that even includes spicy. Our favorite accomplishment of hers right now is she can drink out of a big girl cup like a pro and has been for a few months...now if only we could get her to eat a little better at dinner that would be awesome....I swear she ends up wearing most of her dinner at night.

Her vocabulary has really taken off here lately and we love hearing her talk. She can now say Mommy, Daddy, Sissy, Sassy, horsey, doggie, what did you do, as well as lots of other things. Her favorite thing to say is "what did you do" and it usually comes after someone has released a bodily function which cracks us up. What is even funnier is that no matter who made the sound she always blames it on Cadence..."sissy, what did you do?" If Daniel makes a sound she always says "Sissy", even when Sissy is in another room. Poor Sissy, gets blamed for everything already.

At our last well check up she came in weighing around 25 lbs. and was around 35 in. tall. She is starting to average out, just like her Mommy. She is like me in so many ways its scary...the inability to be patient, the temper...the poor kid even looks just like me.

I'm sure there are many more topics that I'm forgetting, but the doctors office just called and he wants to see me first thing in the morning. My mind has officially quit working properly and is now filled with complete panic, where's the prozac when you need it.

Let's move on to Cadence shall we....hopefully my panic can hold off for a few more minutes. At 9 months old Cadence is officially crawling and pulling herself up to things. She's been crawling for a few months now but it's been that lovely army crawl. We seriously thought she might bypass actually crawling using her knees and hands...lol. Her sleeping had been getting better but it seems for the past week she's been waking up a bunch more...not sure what the deal is. She's eating solids and loves eating her puffs. She is drinking out of a sippy cup now, though I think she really uses it more to chew on than to actually drink from because she is usually soaking wet when you go to pick her up. She is for sure our more sensitive child, just like her Mommy, and you really have to watch how you treat her. She was playing in the potting soil of one of my Mom's plants, for like the hundredth time, last week so I finally just gave her a little slap on the hand and gave her a strong and firm no for doing it. Lord have mercy, if her bottom lip could have stuck out anymore I would have had to have held it up for her, and then the crocodile tears started. Having to punish your child is probably the worst part of parenthood...I hate making them cry or upsetting them. Thankfully she doesn't seem to be interested in playing or eating the soil anymore so maybe the little hand slap worked. I wish Addison caught on that quick, I swear that child will just not learn. At her last doctor appointment she was around 18 lbs. and was 25 in. tall, of course this is coming from memory, which is shot by the way, so I wouldn't be surprised if she was 25 lbs...lol.

Free Fallin'

2011-08-26T06:30:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, I haven't blogged in forever. I've had a rough couple of months with my Crohns disease which unfortunately involved a four day hospital stay about two weeks ago. I don't even want to know what that bills going to look like. I was diagnosed with a perforated colon which as serious as it sounds was the least of their worries. Because of the perforation, and two back to back pregnancies, my hemoglobin level was a six. The normal range for women is twelve to fifteen. Needless to say I required three blood transfusions and because I have such small veins they had to insert a picc line in my upper arm leading into my heart in order to even get the transfusions accomplished. I went to the ER Thursday morning and they inserted the picc line Friday morning. I lost count of how many times they did/attempted blood draws on my arms during that period of time. It finally got to the point where as soon as a tech would come in to do a blood draw I would just start crying. I swear getting blood out of me is like trying to milk a cow using your feet...it's near impossible. I'll admit I did have a mini, OK, major, panic attack when they came in to do the picc line. No one had told me why they were doing it so I automatically assume they are prepping me for surgery and of course because it's early in the morning, none of my family was with me. Thankfully my Aunt works at the hospital so when I sent my Mom, Dad, husband, and sister the "somebody get here now" text, my Mom called her and sent her my way to figure out what was going on and to calm me down. I don't think it helped that the only other times that I had experienced picc lines involved my Grandma's who were on their death beds. Both of their picc lines were in their chests and it involved stitches and everything. Now had I have known from the get go that this was only involving my upper arm, didn't require sutures, and involved three shots of a numbing agent I sure wouldn't have freaked out like I did. It was seriously a piece of cake, even though having it was uncomfortable at times.

Anyway, not only did I require the blood transfusions, but I had/still have a massive infection raging in my body. That tends to happen when you have crap, literally, leaking into your body. As of today, I have four more days of anti-biotics to take and after yet another blood draw to determine whether the infection is gone or not, I will finally begin the process of treating the severe inflammation I have in my digestive system. Unfortunately, all of the drugs they use to treat my Crohns disease, specifically the inflammation, lower my bodies immune system. This means that we haven't been able to treat the disease just yet so I'm still suffering quite a bit. I am currently on several different prescriptions. I am on two maintenance drugs for my Crohns which do not interfere with my immune system, I am on Tylenol 3's for the pain, anti-nausea meds because I'm nausea's all of the time, a new med for GERD, and my anti-biotic. Two weeks from Monday we will begin the new med for my Crohns disease as the maintenance meds I have been on have obviously not been working. This new med is actually an injection that I will administer once a week in either my thighs or stomach and when I say "I", I actually mean Daniel or my Mom because let's face it, my fear of needles and IV's has now gotten so bad that I honestly don't think I could do it. It's bad enough they have to do it because from everyone who I've talked to who have taken them, they hurt like a bitch. I just keep telling myself a few minutes of pain afterwards will be worth finally going into remission with this disease.

Now that you know my reasoning for not blogging here's a quick update on the girls.

Addison is now officially eighteen months old and getting smarter every single day. These past few weeks her vocabulary has really picked up. We've noticed the past few days that she's talking in what appears to be full sentences. We can't understand a single word, but they sound like complete senteces...lol. She currently has four molars coming in and to say it's been a nightmare would be an understatement. She loves animals, especially the dogs and horses, and loves to be outside. Her favorite foods involve pretty much anything with pasta, goldfish crackers, cheerios and milk, cheese of any kind, scrambled eggs and sausage, and just the other week I made her a deconstructed soft taco and she loved it. Beverages of any kind are not safe in her presence and because of this we go through a lot of cups during the day. It doesn't matter if she has the same drink in her sippy cup or not, she would rather drink from our cups.

Cadence is now six months old and she is currently sporting six to twelve month clothing. She's wearing Addison's twelve month pajamas and I can see in a few months them being too small. She's all over the place but still not crawling. She rolls everywhere and loves being in the middle of all the toys with her sister. She contines to be a happy little girl although she's not shy when it comes to letting us know she's wearing a dirty diaper, is hungry, or needs a nap. She hates being left alone, but unfortnately I can't take both girls with me when I go to use the bathroom. This means she's stuck in her excersaucer for a few minutes and she cries hysterically to let me know it's not ok. We're still working on getting her to sleep through the night but I'm starting to think I have another Addison on my hands. They probably won't sleep through the night until their 18 and in college.

And because no post in complete without a picture...here you go!

17 months old, where's my tissue??

2011-07-17T12:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't done an update on Addie since her first birthday, I think, so since she is up to so much I figured I would give everyone a little update!

Addie, today you turned seventeen months old. In seven months you will be two years old, lord help me. You are such an amazing little girl and I can't help but smile each and every time I look at you.

Your next appointment isn't until next month so I do know your official stats but you are getting so tall and you are thinning out so much. You still have a little bit of your chunky baby thighs left which I appreciate so much. It allows me to still think of you as a baby even though your are all toddler now.

I adore hearing you talk and you are learning new words each and every day. One of my other favorite things is sitting back and watching you run. When you snatch things you know you shouldn't have, you take off running knowing that I'm not far behind to take the item from you. We run, and run, and run around the house, you trying to outsmart me and stay just a few steps ahead of me and I purposely stay those few steps behind you all because I love watching you. You just laugh and giggle the entire time and I love when I finally snatch the item from your cute little hands, that I can grab you and cuddle you and blow into your neck and make silly noises and make the loss of your item worth it.

Daddy and I both love this age so much. You are big enough that we can do things with you and watch you as you try so many firsts such as your first trip on a merry-go-round, yet you are still small enough that we can cuddle and hold you as if you were just born.

You love being outside. You are just like your Daddy on that aspect and it just tickles him to death. I know he is secretly counting down the days until he can take you out in the canoe and out fishing. You are our little tomboy and while we are just fine with that, I would really like to be able to do your hair once in awhile. Is a ponytail really that bad child? I don't take you outside much for one reason. You are a busy body!! We live on ten acres out here that is only fenced in for horse pastures. We go outside and you take off straight for the barn to see your horseys, which by the way, is one of your new favorite words and it's the most adorable thing ever!! We go from the barn to the pastures to check out the spring, and then we circle back around to the house, and then back to the barn. You wear me out child! Daddy is always taking you for a ride in your wagon around the farm and you love it. I can't wait until Sissy is big enough that she can sit opposite you in the wagon.

One of the reasons why I wish so badly you would let me do your hair is because it's everywhere. You have so much hair and it's always in your face. After I cut your hair prior to your birthday and got so much grief from the family, I'm not a beautician here people, I was afraid to attempt to trim your bangs. Since Mamaw use to cut hair I gave her permission to give it a go. This picture was right when she started and it was before your complete meltdown. You hate getting your nails cut, and apparently you hate having your hair cut...your going to have to work with me child. We did manage to get the majority of your bangs cut that day and Grandma snipped a piece a few days ago that was driving her crazy but I honestly don't know what we are going to do when they are back in your eyes. Letting Mommy put your hair up would solve this problem...just sayin'!

You have gotten to swim a few times this summer and you really seem to enjoy it as long as you have someone to play with. You love playing with cousin Dylan in the pool and just think, next year your sissy will be big enough to play with you as well.

Speaking of sissy...you love her so much. Whenever Mommy or Daddy are holding her you run up to us with your arms outreached wanting to hold her. When she's laying on her playmat you run over to her and try picking her up. During the day I stick her in her swing to feed her because she is such a slow eater. When we actually hold her to feed her nothing gets accomplished because she farts around laughing and smiling at us the entire time...lol. So now Mommy sticks her in the swing with a towel or blanket to help prop the bottle up. You are such a good little Mommy that whenever she's in her swing now and she starts crying you grab the nearest bottle and shove it in her mouth and then you grab a towel or blanket and throw it on top of her. You have also started to help feed her her solids. I give her the actual food and then when I sit down the little container and spoon you grab them and start trying to feed her....so cute!!

You still aren't the greatest of eaters. One day you will eat both Daddy and I under the table and the next you will hardly touch anything. You love to snack...gee I wonder where you get that from? You love when I make scrambled eggs with a piece of cheese melted over top of them for you and it isn't unusual that you eat three eggs. You love to eat whatever we're eating. I could serve you the same exact meal but you would still rather have us feed you off of our plates. It's like you think we're holding out on you.

You are finally sleeping through the night...praise God. Every now and then you have a bad night where you are up once or twice but it's typically on the weekends when we have run around nonstop and it's affected your naps. Grandma says its because you are reliving your day and it causes nightmares or something...who knows.

You have become a little monkey. You are climbing onto everything. A few weeks ago we caught you sitting in Cadence's bumbo seat on top of the kitchen table. You had pulled out a chair and scaled up onto the table...lol. So far you have not found a way out of your crib yet but I know the day is coming.

Let's see, what else...you love bath time, especially when we take a bath together. You love it when I slide you down my tummy onto my legs and you love the deep water so long as you have my legs to hang onto. Our days of bathing together are coming to end though because the tub is only so big and you keep on growing...maybe if Mommy could lose a few inches around her middle we could buy some more time together. Also, you love your Grandma, it drives me crazy. When she walks out of room without you, you scream hysterically. I honestly don't know that we will ever be able to move out...lol. You also love your Mamaw, you are always spending the night at her house and doing fun stuff together. I can't tell you how much I miss you during those times. I look at your pictures the entire time because I feel as if I can't remember what you look like...lol. My love for you is bad, it's like I'm a drug addict, expect I'm an Addie addict, I just can't get enough of you.

That's it for now baby girl, happy seventeen month birthday!!!

Five months old!

2011-07-15T12:05:00.001-07:00

Cadence, you are now officially five months old. I can't believe how quickly you are changing and growing. Where did my little bitty baby go? Not much has changed since your four month post. We have started you on some solids and you are doing pretty good with them, so much better than what your sister did.

You aren't big into sleeping. You do all right at night still getting up every three to four hours, sometimes two when you're trying to do me in. Naps during the day...yeah, well you could do without them. It's a struggle to get you to take a good nap. If you could stop getting up at night I will allow the no naps during the day...it's all about compromise baby girl, COMPROMISE!!

You are all over the place. We finally got your crib set up and your bedding ordered and put in this past month or so. I will put you in one spot in your crib and seconds later walk back into the room to check on you and you are in a completely different spot. You move quick! Lord help me when I have two of you walking around this place.

You love me!!! I walk out of the room and you cry, I put you down...you cry. It does a Mommy's heart good to know that you love me so much.

You also love your sister and the feeling is mutual. She loves helping me take care of you and she is always wanting to hold you and be up in your face. I am so blessed that even at such a young age there is no jealousy involved in her relationship with you. I can't wait until you are older and able to actual interact with her. I am going to enjoy watching the two of you play together. I AM NOT going to enjoy watching you both gang up on me...lol.

Not sure what your latest weight and height are. I still haven't made your four month appointment. If I actually made these appointments on time Daddy and Grandma might think there was something seriously wrong with me. Procrastination...it's how Mommy rolls!!!

Anyway, there you have it. Five months old and counting and each day I shake my head because I just can't believe it. How quickly you little babies grow. In about eight months you will no longer be the baby of the family. Aunt Nikki is giving you and Addie another cousin and she is due towards the end of February, possibly the early part of March. Papaw made it known that we should pick another month to have babies in. He isn't thrilled with another winter baby. I think the blizzard that your sister arrived in did him in. We're so excited for the newest member of the family but it amazes us that Dylan will be two and a half when his new brother or sister arrives, Addie will be two, and you will be one. How does that happen? I can handle these small numbers, but seriously, when you all start driving it may just do me in.

One word...CRAP

2011-07-08T08:01:00.000-07:00

Goodness gracious we have had a rough couple of weeks. I've posted before about our delicate financial situation and I thought we had finally gotten things figured out when crap hit the fan last week. I don't want to go into details because it was a low blow for us but we can finally rest assured that things with our situation can't get any worse. I truly don't see how it could get any worse. We have officially lost everything we owned of any importance. I thank god everyday that we have the Mom's that we do because without them I have no idea where we would be. My Mom is providing us with a roof over our head and now she is providing us with a vehicle to drive.

I honestly just wanted to give up last week. I don't know how much more a couple can take before they break. I know that if Daniel and I can make it through this struggle then there will be nothing than can tear us apart...NOTHING! I know that God doesn't hand you anything that you can't handle...I'm flattered he has such confidence in me, but in all seriousness...I need a break, I need for things to go right for us. My sanity needs it, my marriage needs it, my daughters need it, and my family needs it. When we suffer they suffer...well most of them anyway. Apparently some of them think we need to overcome our failure like big kids and that nothing is deserved in life. I agree with this one hundred percent but I really wish certain people would just keep their opinions to their selves. Especially those that have not earned the right to comment.

I told Daniel last week that we've hit rock bottom, it's all up from here...it has to be, and it will be as long as we hold it together and stand side by side. I'll tell you remaining positive during this dark cloud that we're under is hard at times but then I am reminded of something that can't be taken away from us because of our financial situation...our amazing little girls. I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through this time without them. They are the reasons why I get up every morning and the reasons why Daniel and I keep on trucking without looking behind.

Addison Grace and Cadence Leah, you mean more to us that any silly house or vehicle and as long as we have both of you we are the richest people in the world.

Further proof that we're incredibly blessed...

Cadence with Aunt Nikki...my babies are so loved!

Four months old and going strong!!

2011-06-14T12:05:00.001-07:00

Today my little baby turned four months old. My Mom and I were just discussing it last night and even she said she can't believe that this little girl has only been in our lives for a short sixteen weeks. I feel like she has been a part of our family since Addison became a part of our lives.

I never got around to doing a post for her three month birthday so since both girls are currently napping...praise the Lord, I figured I better post about her four month birthday before I forgot.

What are you up to now little one?

* You are the happiest little girl ever. All we have to do is look at you and you flash your big grin and giggle. You crack us up because as soon as Addison starts crying or getting mad about something you start smiling like it's no ones business. I think you take pleasure in her pain and I can already see how bad that's going to be when the two of you get older.

* When we had you weighed a month ago you were a little over 13 pounds and you were knocking on 24 inches long. I wouldn't be surprised if you are up to 15 pounds now and I am not even going to guess your length because I can already tell you are going to be taller than your sister. At four months old you are already wearing some of the clothing your big sister wore when she was six and seven months old because nothing else is long enough.

* You look nothing like me or my side of the family. You look so much like your Daddy and his side of the family it's unreal. I swear had I have not been awake when you were born I would question whether or not you came from my body. This also means you do not look like your sister at all since she resembles me and my family. It's hard to believe you two came from the same set of parents sometimes.

*A few weeks ago you started rolling from your front to your back which we got the biggest kick out of. Now you have started rolling from your back to your front...of course that doesn't happen quite as often.

* You love to talk to us which just melts my heart. I could listen to both you and your sister all day long, which as a stay at home Mom, I guess I do. What is just as amazing is how you recognize your sister. She hangs all over you when you are in your swing and you just smile the entire time. You even smiled the time she ended up climbing on the swing with you even though you were underneath her!

* You drink about four to five ounces every three hours or so and we are slowly trying to get you to start eating cereal before bed. Daddy and I feel terrible because every night at dinner we plop you in your bumbo chair and sit you in the middle of the table. You just stare at us while we eat our dinner and every so often I catch you licking your lips. I promise baby girl, we all did our time with formula as are you...one day you will be eating grilled chicken and corn on the cob with the rest of us.

* You love being held or sat up right. Just today I sat you up right next to me on the couch while I uploaded your four month photos. You just sat there playing with the strap on my camera bag and since you had been crying beforehand you must have enjoyed it because you immediately stopped crying.

* We have also started putting you in the excersaucer to help build your leg muscles and you actually enjoy it. If I remember correctly it took awhile before your sissy started to enjoy it.

I continue to count my blessings every single day. A year ago at this time I was just finding out I was pregnant with you. It took years to have your sister so you can imagine my surprise when it took only about six weeks to get pregnant with you. I was so scared that if I tried to prevent a pregnancy so soon after having your sister that I may never have another child so we decided to let whatever happens happen. We were prepared for it to take a year or so, at least that's what we were hoping since we didn't want you and Addison so close together in age. I am so glad that God thought otherwise because I was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant and I continue to be thrilled everyday that I wake up to you and your sister. I love watching you two interact with each other and I know that the thrills will only get better as you both get older. I love you Cadence Leah more than you will ever know!

Hello ninety degree weather!

2011-06-07T11:31:00.001-07:00

In case you aren't currently located in the state of Ohio I thought I would let you know...IT'S HOTT OUTSIDE. Yes I am aware that hot does not include two t's...it's just so hot outside that I thought it deserved two for this post.

One minute we're complaining that it's freezing cold outside, and then we're complaining about all of the rain we received over the last two months, and now here I am complaining about how hot it is outside. I'm all about spring and fall around here and it seems like we skipped both this past year.

Anyway, since some days are so unbearably hot Addison has spent some time swimming around. She swam most of our Memorial Day weekend when we were taking turns at all of the grandparents houses and I figured it's time we bought a pool for her here at the house. We made sure it was plenty big so that the hubby and I could at least soak in it.

Here she is in our pool. The bathing suit was cold and damp from swimming after nap time so she just free birded it after dinner.

Here are some shots from our Memorial Day weekend. She was thrilled when we bought our pool because she had the hose all to herself and there was no risk of being sprayed by someone. Dylan, my nephew, took over the hose at my Dad's house and Addison was made aware of it on several different occasions.

Here is another shot from Memorial Day. We celebrated my brother Matt's college graduation on Memorial Day this year so my step-dad and his girlfriend Kathy made sure there were plenty of pools for the kids to enjoy. My brother Steve is shown in the picture. It's funny because last year at this time we were celebrating his graduation and Addison swam then...more like sat...but she was in the water. I can't believe how much she has grown over this past year. I wish I had those pictures saved to the lap top but their on our desk top and I just don't have it in me to go downstairs and add them to this post.

She enjoys being in the water but I'm not sure if it's something she's really going to enjoy. She's in and out all of the time but I wonder how much of it's because she has nobody to play with in ours. Her Sissy needs to hurry and grow up so that they can be splash buddies!!

Mommy's little helper and her baby sister!

2011-05-26T16:42:00.000-07:00

I've been cooking a lot more lately which is a good thing for my blog and the new cooking page I have created on facebook. It feels so good to get out in the kitchen and make new things and more often than not I have a little helper along for the ride. She doesn't really help me, but she is out there. Pulling all of the can goods out of the lazy susan, taking the pots and pans out of their cabinet, and pulling the cereal boxes out of their home. That list could go on but I'm tired and don't feel like writing it all down. Let's just say that after we clean the dinner mess we have to go around the house and pick up every single item Addison dragged out. It makes me tired just typing that...lol.

Here's Mommy's little helper making an italian love cake which was a big flop in our house. Don't you hate getting all excited for a recipe, spending precious money to buy the ingredients, and then you end up throwing most of it away because the family just wasn't feeling it? I hate that! Money around here is a precious thing since I'm no longer working and five dollars here and there really does add up. Especially when you have two kids in diapers and one on formula.

Here she is from Monday night, or maybe it was Tuesday, lord who knows. Anyway, we were making lasagna buns which I stumbled across over at Cassie Craves. I'll post the recipe on the food blog eventually...I hope. Did I mention I am really tired tonight? LMAO

If stacking cups keeps her entertained, then by all means, stack away. She actually pulled these all out the package and made one stack with them. I thought it was really cute, notice the tongue sticking out? She's concentrating so hard!

Below you will find her in one of her two favorite spots lately. For awhile she was taking over the bouncy seat and now she's taking over the swing. Even though she is about 97% at being really good with her baby sister, she still has her moments. Like the other night when I was on the floor with Cadence and Addison came up and kicked her in the head. She got in trouble for that and then she stopped crying long enough to come over and dangle her foot over the top of Cadence's head as if she was going to stomp on it at any second. The girl is only fifteen months old and I know already I am going to have my hands full with her growing up. She LOVES to try our patience and I know that she knows the meaning of the word no even though when we say it she looks at us like she's dumber than a box of rocks, gives us a good glare, and then keeps on doing what she was just being told what not to do. God help us when the terrible twos start!

Here's my other precious child. I know I have mentioned it before but seriously, the first month and a half of her life, I honestly thought I was going to have to kill myself. She cried ALL.OF.THE.TIME! There was no consoling this child and I can't tell you how many times I got so frustrated I just cried right along with her.

Now she is a completely different child. She's so happy and she is always smiling and talking to us. It just melts my heart at how precious and wonderful she is. I am reminded every single day how blessed I am to have these two little girls in my life. My only complaint with her is how noisy she is. She wakes us up every single morning talking to herself. It's so loud that my Mom asked me yesterday to start shutting our bedroom door because she can hear her talking in her room...lol.
This is her chatting in the morning! It's cute and I love hearing it, but we are not morning people around her. It's take Mommy and her big Sissy a little while to wake up, we don't wake up all bright and sunshiny like she apparently does. I'm hoping one day she can turn it down a notch or two!

And then because this is one of the best pictures I have ever taken, my little Miss Sunshine!

If that picture doesn't melt your heart, then there's just no help for you!

A funeral...

2011-05-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

This week was a pretty crummy one for us. Daniel's Dad passed away this past Saturday. There is no preparing for that phone call, even when you expect to receive it at any moment. I think the hardest part about getting older is that the older you get, the older your parents get. I know the day will come when I have to say good-bye to them, but I pray that it is a long ways off. I can't imagine living life without my parents or even my siblings but that's life for you. Daniel is thirty three years old and he just said good-bye to his Dad. My heart aches for him, as well as for my daughters since they will never know how great their Poppy was. I know that there are others who have had to say good-bye to parents at an even younger age, how blessed they are to have guardian angels, but how sad that they have to go through life without the people who would support and guide them most.

Daniel with his oldest brother Chuck along with his baby brother, by ten and a half months, Dustin. Just look at those smiles will ya!

Death has a funny way of bringing you together with loved ones that are still living. It reminds you of the value of family and what being together as one does for your spirit. Daniel's oldest brother lives in Kentucky along with his two youngest children and their families. We made a vow on Tuesday before we sent them off that we would try harder to be more of a family. No more of this only getting together for weddings or a funeral.

Here is another picture of the boys along with their Mom, Sue, a few of the grandkids, and three of the great-grand kids. The two baby boys are great-grandkids, while Addison and Cadence are grand-kids.

I think we are all holding up pretty well given the fact we just lost the patriarch of the Blankenship family. I think it helped a little that Charlie had been in a nursing home for the past year or so. We had gotten used to visiting Mamaw without Poppy being there at home with her so it won't feel all that unusual to us when we continue to visit without him being there. We would love to still have him there but we all know that he is better off. Charlie fought a hell of a battle these past few years, especially this last one, and it's reassuring for us to know he's finally at peace and in complete comfort.

Rest in peace Poppy! Please watch over my babies and help me to keep them safe from harm.

Charles E. Blankenship Sr.

June 15, 1934 to May 14, 2011.

This and that thrown all together...

2011-05-09T19:47:00.001-07:00

Somebody has been a horrible, horrible blogger but what can I say other than you all should be used to it by now. I have been updating the food blog more so take what you can get from me...lol.

We have had a very busy month since I last posted, Cadence turned two months old, we celebrated Easter, Mothers Day, and a few nice days outside when it wasn't raining...which seemed to happen this entire month. We live right along a river which means when it rains like this we flood, and we flood bad. There are only three or four ways to our house on a normal non flooded day, but the flooding this month has been so bad we've been forced down to one and that was pushing it on one day in particular when Daniel thought he might have to turn around and stay at his Mom's. Seriously, I had to go to another town to do my shopping and it was no fun.

On a more fun note here are a few pictures that I have taken during the past month or so. They are backwards from earliest to latest in the month but folks, it's eleven o'clock at night, Addison has kept me up the past several nights, and I'm working on the lap top which makes things more challenging when it comes to rearranging everything. I'm sure you'll forgive me once you see all of the adorableness of my daughters. Is adorableness a word??

First up from tonight's dinner, sister was loving her fajitas and cottage cheese. Do all children get this messy when they eat? We're about to the point that we just strip her down to her diaper because without fail, she gets food everywhere. I actually found chunks of dinner in her diaper when I changed her.
And from before dinner...my precious little baby sporting her very first pony tail. I can't believe how grown up she looks when her hairs pulled back. I sent a picture of her to my sister via cell phones tonight and she didn't even realize it was Addison at first. Yeah Nikki, I'm sending you a picture of some random child I picked up and titled it...her first pony tail...lmao!

Next up, Mother's day. Mother's day was so special for me this year. Last year money was extremely tight for us and Daniel wasn't able to buy anything in advance, he did buy me a gorgeous ring while I waited in the food court at the mall, but I guess I had my first Mother's day all hyped up in my head and what happened wasn't what I imagined. He was able to do so much better this year. He bought me a family bible. There's something about having a bible meant just for your little family with the date of when you became man and wife, births, and deaths that really makes this whole family thing real. I will cherish it for the rest of my life. We spent Sunday evening with my Mom and my siblings and we can't get together without playing a couple rounds of cards. Addison crashed half way through dinner so she didn't join us, but Cadence stuck around to make sure nobody was cheating.

Earlier on Mother's day we spent some time with Daniel's Mom. Instead of going out and fighting off the crowds at some restaurant we picked up some broasted chicken, potato salad, baked beans, and mac and cheese. We had a nice lunch just being together and not dealing with other people. It was during this lunch that Addison was introduced to her very first chicken leg. The child cracks me up.

Next up, the weekend after Easter. We spent that Saturday evening at my Aunt Robin's and Uncle Dan's for my cousin Heathers birthday. We decided to go over early because they live right across the street from a school with a really nice playground. What kills me is that this school is my old school, and this playground is the very same one that I grew up playing on. Who knew all those years ago when we were playing pretend during recess, that so and so was married to this guy, and a couple of us were their kids, that I would actually be standing there watching my own real children play on it. It tends to remind you that you're getting older.

Heather took this family shot of us which I LOVE. Part of the reason why we went over early, besides to play on the playground, was so that I could take pictures of her boyfriends children. I am so glad she was able to get a good one of us...I took lots of good ones of them.

Here's Addison going down the big kid slide...check out her hair.

Prior to us leaving, Cadence thought she would try her hand at the Wii. Don't you just love that little smirk? If you look closely there is a little hand at the bottom right of the picture. What you don't see is that Addison had just snatched Cadence's bottle and was talking to her as if she was reassuring her it was all right. I can imagine Cadence was smirking because she knew she had just back washed in it prior to Addison taking it...lol.

Next up to bat....Easter. I am so upset about Easter I can hardly talk about it. I had been sick with another Crohns flare the previous few weeks and of course Easter was no exception. I barely ate and was in no mood to do anything but wish the day would hurry up so that I could get home. Can you believe that I took no pictures of the girls and their Easter baskets? I feel like such a horrible Mother. I did manage to take this one only because it was to funny not to. This was after my daughter, who has you can see from the beginning of the post, has no table manners, had stuffed an entire deviled egg into her mouth. Once again, the child cracks me up!

Next, Cadence's two month birthday. I can't believe how different she looks from birth and her one month photo. Her eyes are getting bluer and her cheeks are starting to fill out. She has calmed down so much these past few weeks that we are actually able to really enjoy her. She's smiling at us big time and about two weeks ago she started to giggle. She loves her big sister and as you can see below the feeling is mutual. Addison is so loving towards her...well most of the time anyway. Addison tries to feed her her bottle, give her her gas drops, and likes to help pat her on the back to burp. Addison loves to say Sissy and first thing every morning when I put her down from her crib she waddles over to the pack and play and on tip toes peers in on her "Sissy". She also likes to snatch Cadence's blankets off of her when she's in the swing and then tries covering her back up. Of course we have to make adjustments because the blanket usually winds up over her sisters face. Addison has also started trying to share her toys with her Sissy. We look over and there lays a stuffed animal or something on Cadence in the swing. I pray that these two continue to love one other and that they grow up being best friends.

The official two month shot. Just look at that hair, and those eyes, oh those eyes just melt me into a million pieces.

Another loving moment between sisters.

And last but not least, family time. Daniel's Dad is in very bad shape. We expect the call letting us know he's went to be with our Lord any day now. Daniel's Dad was in his forties when Daniel was hatched so he's in his mid-seventies now. Between strokes and a few heart attacks he's been dealt a pretty crappy hand. My heart aches not only for my husband who is so proud of his daughters and wishes his Dad could be around to watch them grow up, but it aches for my daughters and future children as well. I am saddened that they will never truly remember him or that he won't be able to watch them grow. The relationship that I had with my Grandma Murphy is so precious to me, but I had her for twenty four years, even though I feel anger towards the fact her other grandchildren had her for much longer but appreciated and loved her much less. Addison and Cadence and their future brothers or sisters won't have any time with him and Daniel will no longer have his father. I can't imagine a time when I won't have one of my parents. To be honest I can't even think about it without giving myself a panic attack. The thought of death, especially my own, is something that's been bothering me a lot lately.

Anyway, since Charlie won't be around to watch them grow, I wanted to make sure they had something to remember him by and to remind them that they did have him for a little while. During our latest trip to the nursing home I made sure to cart my camera with us so that I could snatch a family shot. Here it is...I hope not only Daniel, but the girls as well, will treasure it.

Well, that's been our month in a nut shell. I promise I will try to do a little better with updates. I feel like the girls are growing by leaps and bounds so I really need to keep caught up with their everyday shenanigans.

Dare Devil in the making!

2011-04-01T22:32:00.000-07:00

Apparently my little Addison Grace enjoys climbing on things. What kills me is she has already taken a few tumbles and instead of learning from them she climbs right back up and usually tumbles again. It's hard to catch a thirteen month old from falling when your holding her six week old little sister. Thankfully we have not had to deal with any injuries so far...knock on wood, because the only injuries she seems to be receiving here lately are caused by her parents. Mommy accidentally tripping her, Mommy pushing her down, Daddy pulling her out of the hall closet by the straps on her jumper, her tripping over everything and anything, and not to be left out, the english bull dog of my Mom's who thinks he's a linebacker and she just happens to always seem to be in his path to the back door for his potty breaks. My poor child...please don't call children's services on us...I promise these are just accidents! The cooler has since been put up...still not sure why it was in the playroom other than the fact we're still emptying our house and moving into my Mom's. Things are everywhere right now.

Don't ask...the microwave is there temporarily until we move it to the garage. And yes the spoon wedged between the handles of the cabinet is to keep a certain little girl out. And yes I am aware they sells products to do just that.

Does she not look cute in her little jumper? And check out her $45 pair of Nike Shocks...I about died at how much a good pair of shoes cost for toddlers.

That would be Oliver the bulldog in his cage. He spends a lot of time in that cage for the safety of our entire family...the adults included. That dog has enough energy for about twelve others and I think we've all tripped over him a time or two.

And because it's funny even though it shouldn't be because now I have to break her of this little habit...Addison's new favorite word is shit. Where did she learn it you ask? Her Father that's where. And does he have a potty mouth? Oh no...he was just trying to teach her on purpose because he thought it would be funny. Well she finally learned and she's used it twice now. Both times being after she's fallen down. I guess if she's going to use it she's at least using it at the appropriate moments. Once again, please don't call children's services on us...lol.

A girl and her horsey...

2011-03-29T16:20:00.001-07:00

This little lady sure does love her animals!

One Month

2011-03-21T14:49:00.000-07:00

Happy One Month Birthday Cadence Leah!

So, what are you up to? Yeah that's right, not sleeping, that's what you're up to. Oh and crying, lots of crying. Do you seriously have to cry so much?? And can we please discuss why you insist on being held ALL.OF.THE.TIME??? I know you don't really care but I do need to sleep some time and this holding you while trying to sleep just isn't working for me. It keeps me on Mommy alert on night long...must not roll over...must not roll over...DON'T MOVE FROM CURRENT POSITION. And why do you turn your built in furnace on when I am holding you? You make my arm so hot it stings! Please stop crying, start sleeping, and dear God, please start sleeping in your own bed...I'm begging you!

But please do Mommy one big favor! Please don't stop being so adorable. As crazy as you are making me right now I love watching you. I absolutely love hearing you start to talk to us and those gummy grins melt my heart each and every time! I love you baby girl and I know someday you'll let me sleep again!

I could have sworn it's March!

2011-03-10T12:43:00.000-08:00

Well it's almost the middle of March and can you guess what it's currently doing outside? SNOWING...come on weather get with the program. We are tired of the snow and we are most definitely done with the rain. It's rained so much here lately that our back pastures are under water as well as the roads near our house. Living next to a river can be good but during heavy rains its bad. You have to drive out of your way to get home when the roads are shut down.

This Momma is ready for spring so we can get out of this house and do stuff...any stuff would work as I am spending entirely way too much time on facebook!

We were fortunate for one day this week where I was able to take Addison out for about ten minutes before the next round of rain hit. She loves being outside and she loves swinging in her new swing.

Everyone...think spring!!

If only I had known...

2011-03-07T13:22:00.001-08:00

I knew having two babies so close in age was going to be challenging at times but I had no clue that it was going to be so difficult right out of the starting gate. Cadence was born three weeks ago today and it was exactly three weeks and one day ago that I have gotten an actual nights sleep. I'm realizing now that we were spoiled with Addison. She had her moments of course, but Cadence...Cadence has moments twenty four hours a day...every single day! If she isn't being held she's crying and half the time she's crying even when she's being held. To say I'm on the verge of a complete meltdown would be an understatement.

I don't think it would be so bad if Addison were older but we're talking about a one year old here who is completely clueless to what's going on other than the fact that some little person is hogging her Mother and Grandmothers attention. I pick up Cadence to try to soothe her and Addison wants picked up. I lay Cadence's bottle or pacifier down and Addison snatches them and takes off for the hills. Have you ever tried getting up out of a chair/couch while holding a sleeping baby who you don't want to wake up all so that you can chase after a toddler who apparently runs faster than you do even though her run is more of a waddle? Then there is the whole let's try to snatch sissy's blanket that she's swaddled in while she's laying in the recliner. Thank god Daddy moves quickly or someone would have ended up on the floor of the playroom. Of course there is always Addison who purposefully stops the baby swing from swinging. Did I mention this is after I have struggled to get Cadence to actually fall asleep so that I could put her in the swing? And that Addison stopping it usually always wakes her up?

My all time favorite issue with the girls right now is the fact they are tag teaming me...BIG TIME! One needs a bottle and you get them situated back into bed after what seems like an eternity and then boom...the other kid wakes up and needs a bottle. One needs a diaper change and sure enough you get settled back on the couch when the other needs a diaper change. Is it to much to ask for them to poop at the same time?

This Momma is so tired. I can't find time to shower and half the time don't even get dressed for the day. I'm pretty confident that baby number three won't be coming for awhile as I am going to need about a year or two worth of sleep before I even dream of adding to this chaos...lol. I love my girls though and I am so blessed that I have them in my life. While I was crying alongside Cadence and Addison last night I made sure to remember that in about eighteen years I would welcome the lack of sleep for just another night of holding my little babies!

Happy 1st Birthday Addie...

2011-02-25T17:59:00.001-08:00

I can't believe it but my precious little baby is now a year old. This milestone has been an emotional one for me mainly because I can't believe just how quickly this past year has flown by. Up until February 14th she still seemed like this little baby to me but then I went and had Cadence and she is so tiny compared to Addison. It's a constant reminder to me that Addison is no longer my little baby...she's my big girl. She's a big girl with an even bigger attitude. This child keeps us on our toes and she has a mean streak a mile long. As hard as we try to remain composed when dishing out her punishments we can't help but laugh because she is so overly dramatic it's hilarious. Daniel would be the first to tell you she takes after her Mother in the drama department...lol. Here are some notes about what she's up to...

She has spent entirely too much time with the family dogs. Addie likes to lick everything and enjoys eating food off her tray like a dog.

She is starting to enjoy TV, if there is music on the TV she will dance to it.

She is not shy by any means. When I was in the hospital having Cadence, nurses would walk in and Addison would go straight to them with her hands in the air wanting picked up.

She will eat just about anything but she's like a bird. Sometimes trying to get her to eat isn't worth the fight.

She stills gets up once or twice a night. I pray that this doesn't last much longer. Even though she stills gets up during the night we can usually put her to bed between 8 and 9 and she can sleep until 9 or 10 the next morning. Of course these past few days she's been getting up around 7:30/8 so we'll see if this is a new phase.

She says a few words like Mommy and Daddy. On rare occasions she can say Addie and Sissy. I have heard her say cake once and my Mom now has her saying kitty kitty. Even though she is still mumbling it's actually starting to sound like she's trying to say something. I could listen to her talk all day long.

She is wearing 12-18 month clothing and it's leaning more towards the 18 months more and more everyday. Sister has some chubby feet and she is currently in a size 4 shoe, althought today we put her in a size 5. A month ago she was 20 pounds, not sure what she weighs now but compared to her sister it's a lot. She's also wearing a size 4 diaper which further enhances her behind which my family has affectionately nicknamed the Kim Kardashian butt.

She has her top two teeth as well as her bottom two teeth and just this week a tooth next to the bottom teeth has started to poke through. With these new teeth she's learned the concept of biting. Girlfriends already gotten a swat or two for biting Mommy.

In honor of Addison's first birthday we had two parties. The first get together was on her actual birthday which was the 17th. It was very low key seeing as I had just gotten out of the hospital with Cadence so it was just us, my Mom, and my brother Steve. We got her her own little cake and she thoroughly enjoyed it. It was good practice for party #2.

We held her second party this past Saturday at my step-dad and his girlfriends house and I think it's safe to say she had an absolute blast. She had lots of kids to play with and had balloons to play with. We know now that if we ever want to entertain her for long periods of time all we have to do is get her a balloon. She was still pulling those balloons along with her today.

The theme in her nursery is farm animals so I decided that was the theme we would use for her party. I had her invites professionally done which I would share with you except for the fact they have my telephone number and the address of my step-dads house and I don't know how to blur it out so for safety reasons I won't be posting it. It was super cute though with a little farm scene, her picture, and lots of pink and green. Her cake and the balloons matched perfectly!

By birthday round two she was a professional at destroying cakes. This pictures cracks me up. Needed a beverage break at half time.

She did pretty good with presents. She didn't concern herself much with actually opening them so I did most of the work but as I would unwrap she would play with the item. She got lots of clothes and very few toys which surprised me but she needed the clothes so Mommy's happy. Her Papaw gave her money so we'll get her a few toys with it. Just this afternoon we purchased a pink tree swing for her with it and she loved swinging so I think she's happy with her loot.

Overall I think she had a great first birthday celebrated with lots of family and friends. She continues to be the light of my life and I think God every single day that he gave me this precious little girl. There are times when she tries my nerves so bad I just have to cry but just minutes later she's walking up to me and resting her head on my shoulder as if she's apologizing. I like to think I am pretty good with words and writing my feelings down on paper but with this little girl I am wordless. There are no words or nothing that I could write that would properly express what I feel for her and what she has brought to my life. Her Daddy and I have had a pretty tough year starting with my job loss. We have lost our home, given up one of our vehicles, and gone without many of things in order for me to stay at home with her and her sister and I am all right with those decisions because spending my every waking moment with these two little girls is worth all of the money in the world. We moved in with my Mom in order to start putting money away in savings and to get ourselves out of debt so that in a year or so we can move out and start fresh without having to worry about where next months rent is going to come from and whether or not we'll be able to afford groceries. We're doing this all for our daughters because at the end of the day they are our light at the end of the tunnel and they make us feel like the richest people in the world.

Happy Birthday Addison Grace, I love you to the moon and back and I look forward to watching you grow into a beautiful young woman!

2011-02-20T11:10:00.000-08:00

Well, one kids in bed and the other is currently being held by her Daddy which means Mommy finally has a free minute or two to tell you a little about Cadence's birth story. It's been almost a week and I still can't believe that she is here or that she came so quickly.

As you already know we went in Sunday night to begin the induction process and little did I know how different this induction was going to be compared to Addison's induction. I got my first dose of gel around 9 or so Sunday night and not much happened. I was dilated to a 2 and had been for the past two weeks or so. Shortly before getting my second dose of gel around one Monday morning contractions started. At first we thought it was the gel since it can cause irritability and contractions that don't last long but it wasn't long before I realized this was the real deal. They were coming every two minutes and were extremely uncomfortable. Even though this was my second pregnancy and delivery things were much different than what I experienced with Addison. With Addison my induction was a two day event and when contractions finally started they were in my lower back because Addison was sunny side up. By the time hard contractions started I had already received my epidural and my water wasn't broken until afterward.

With Cadence my contractions started almost immediately and they weren't pleasant. I don't think it helped that I hadn't slept Saturday night and obviously I wasn't going to be sleeping much Sunday night. I was given an ambien pill to help sleep and since my contractions were getting bad I requested my first round of nubain (sp?). The combination of the two knocked me out and I did manage to sleep for a few hours. Even though I was out cold my contractions did continue. They started my pitocin at six Monday morning and broke my water shortly after. If I remember correctly I was only dilated at a three at that point in the game. It wasn't long after this took place that things started moving very quickly. By 8:30 or so I was dilated to a four and my nurse had talked me into receiving my epidural. I was very hesitant to go ahead and get it because I thought for sure I would be stuck laying in the bed for the rest of the day since I wasn't dilating very quickly. I think my fear was it was going to be another two day induction experience and lord knows I didn't want to be confined to my bed that long. The nurse must have insisted while I was experiencing a contraction because I went ahead and decided now was the time. I got my epidural around 8:45 Monday morning and I am glad it's over and done with. It took two tries before they finally got it to work and I was less than impressed with my nurse. I had a mini breakdown before they started the second attempt and wished so badly they would have allowed Daniel in with me. Instead of holding me to keep me from moving like the nurse was supposed to do she kept walking away from me and doing stuff with the computer which meant I would move as hard as I tried not to. I blame her for the anesthesiologist having to do it twice. Anyway, at that time I was at a four and thought I would finally get some time to rest before I finally delivered...boy was I wrong. Next thing I know I was experiencing pain in my "lady region" like I had never experienced in my life. I was holding my cousin Heathers hand like it was the end of the world...lol. I actually became that woman I said I would never be. The one that you can hear screaming down at the end of the hallway. I wasn't screaming but I was definitely doing some moaning and groaning and Daniel said he could hear me in the hallway...I'm not proud of that but man was I hurting. They quickly called for the anesthesiologist to head back down to make sure nothing was wrong with my epidural and he topped me off with some more drugs. The pain finally went away after about ten minutes or so. They discovered that the pain was because Cadence had dropped and had dropped rapidly. I had gone from a four to a nine in about an hour and she was already crowning. I don't remember much with details at that point because everything happened so quickly but I do remember them rushing the residents in because my Doctor wasn't available. The two residents who assisted had me do two practice pushes and next thing I remember everyone was suiting up, the bed was being taken apart and nurses were flooding in. Since they try their hardest to wait for the actual Doctors to deliver they had me hold off on pushing...they did the same thing to me with Addison. I told them this time I didn't care if the Doctor was there or not and they told me it was important to her, seriously, whose in labor here and they think it's important to the Doctor...screw that. Turns out they didn't have a choice though because next thing I know the resident is saying "we gotta go" and next thing I know I have a baby laying on my belly. Turns out I didn't really need to push, my contractions were pushing her out without my assistance and when the resident looked down her head was pretty much out...lol. Delivering Cadence was so much easier than Addison. My pelvic bone caused problems with Addison and she would start to come out and then I would stop pushing and she would go back in. I much prefer having the baby come out on their own...lmao.

I think we were all in a little bit of shock regarding how quickly I delivered. Half the family, including my Mom who had Addison, missed the delivery because everyone was expecting it to be similar to what Addison's was like. I told Daniel today I am almost afraid to get pregnant again because we may not even make it to the hospital for that delivery. It's amazing that I am now the mother of two children. It's still sinking in that I get to say "girls" now. I am truly blessed...extremely tired, but very blessed.

I am still trying to learn how to be a Mother of two young children. Typically whenever I would use the restroom or do something in the kitchen or bedroom I would take Addison with me because I never know what she is going to get into. Just yesterday we were in the living room when Cadence decided she was going to drench both herself and me in puke. I had a brief moment of panic when I realized I was unable to take Addison back to the bedroom with me to change my clothes and get Cadence cleaned up. I finally decided to brave it and leave her out in the living room to fend for herself...you'll be happy to know she survived without incident. My Mom is helping out with laundry since the laundry room is in the basement and I haven't had a shower in three days but I'm adjusting. I know it will get easier as time progresses so right now I am just enjoying the ride.

She's here...

2011-02-15T21:17:00.001-08:00

Cadence Leah Blankenship has arrived. She made her grand entrance at 10:31 a.m. on Valentines Day. This delivery was completely different from my delivery with Addison, in fact I am still in shock. Details will be forth coming as soon as we're sprung from the hospital. Keeping our fingers crossed that we will be released later this afternoon but she has developed jaundice and we all know how that went last year with Addison so who knows how long we will be here.

Just as stubborn as the last one!

2011-02-12T10:35:00.001-08:00

Well, here we are and I am still pregnant. I really thought this pregnancy would be different since my body was progressing unlike with Addison's birth. I guess this just means I have another stubborn little girl on my hands. After a quick trip to the hospital last weekend for false labor I thought for sure that we would have had her by this weekend but nope. My Doctors have taken pity on my miserable self and the fact that I really don't want the girls to share the same birth date so we are headed in Sunday night for an induction. If all goes as planned I will have my little Valentines Day baby, how sweet!

On another note...my baby, the one that started this all last year, is going to be a year old this coming Thursday. I would really like to know where this past year has gone because I just can't swallow the fact that it's been an entire year that Addison has been in our life. I was telling Daniel just last night as he was wrestling on the floor with her that this time last year we didn't have her to play with and she was the one we were patiently awaiting.

With a new baby and the first of two birthday parties this week I think we're going to be a little bit busy don't you?

We're getting close!

2011-02-04T20:50:00.001-08:00

Unlike her older sister, this little girl isn't beating around the bush trying to enter this world. Even though my due date isn't for another three weeks, Cadence should be here by next weekend whether she likes it or not. I think if she could have Addison would have stayed in my belly. When they finally induced me with her I was at my due date and my body was making almost no progress. With this little one my body is raring to go. As of yesterday I am 2 cm. dialated and 60% thinned out. That fact this is happening three weeks out is amazing compared to nothing happening at all with Addison.

I am hoping she comes very soon on her own but thanks to more gall bladder issues, the Doctors will induce after my appointment next Thursday if she isn't here yet. I was made to promise that I would keep my legs crossed when it came to more babies until my gall bladder is finally taken care of...lol.

A part of me is excited we have come to the end of this journey. I am miserable beyond belief. I wasn't chasing after an eleven month old during my last pregnancy! I am also excited to finally meet this little girl. The other part of me though is scared out of my mind. I am so worried about how I am going to juggle raising a one year old with a newborn. I am so afraid that I won't be able to give either one of the girls the attention that they both deserve and require. I know I won't get to sit around all day holding my precious newborn like I did with Addison because let's face it, Addison is still 100% dependent on me and there won't be time to snuggle with Cadence all day long. That leaves me with guilt for Cadence for not getting as much one on one time with me as her sister did and then I have guilt because during those moments that I am able, Addison will be lacking. What's a mother of two babies going to do?? I know this is one big learning experience for me and after a short while the girls and I will get into a lovely groove and all of these worries and guilty moments will be a thing of the past but until then I can't help but panic a little.

Here's hoping that my next post includes a picture of a lovely little girl who we will all have just met! Keep us all in your thoughts in prayers.

9 month checkup done a month late...oops!

2011-01-14T12:06:00.001-08:00

Today I finally took Addison in for her nine month check up and for her latest round of shots. I don't claim to be mother of the year so better late than never in my book.

Who needs a milk mustache when you can have a yogurt mustache?

The Doctor is really impressed with her which makes this Mommy very happy. It assures me that I'm doing something right. She weighed in at a little over twenty pounds and she is almost thirty inches long...girlfriend is going to be tall just like her parents. I got a good laugh out of this appointment because they made me fill out a questionnaire for her regarding her skills and such. It kept asking me questions such as whether or not she's able to stand on her own or with assistance and whether she can walk along the couch or table. Not one question about whether or not at ten months she's actually walking all by herself. My ten month old can't possibly be the only ten month old whose walking all by herself and has been for the last month in a half!! No matter what the Doctor was excited to see her in action and Addison was more than happy to show off even though she got a stick in her toe to test her hemoglobin level. She kept on trucking even with a bloody toe...lol. She got even more praises when I whipped out her sippy cup and she drank out of it like a champ. I think the Doctor was impressed when I said she had been on one for months now. She gave me the go ahead to take the bottle away completely which I am hesitant about. Addison never took a pacifier so during the night she likes to chew on her bottle nipple, the only time in which she gets a bottle, as her comfort item. I don't know if I am willing to take that away just yet, especially since she's still not sleeping through the night and this tired Momma needs as much sleep as she can possibly get. We'll see if I get brave over the next few days!!

A little hurricane Addie destruction for your viewing pleasure! Can you imagine what it will look like with two babies?

My little Peanut...my motto is, "you can never have too much toilet paper!" It's the Crohn's patient in me talking...LOL. Looks like I have a chip off the old block!

Anyway, our little baby isn't so little anymore and I think it's safe to say she isn't our baby anymore...she's our big girl. I can't believe in about five weeks she's going to be a year old and that we more than likely will have another little baby on our hands. Where has the past year gone?

Cadence

2011-01-07T11:14:00.000-08:00

Since I have been a bad Mommy when it comes to posting updates on Cadence during this pregnancy I thought since I had a wonderful appointment this morning that I would make a short post. I will be 34 weeks on Monday and as of today she is measuring at 33.5 weeks so we are right on schedule. Her heartbeat was 152 and she's an active little bugger. I am looking forward to having my tummy back to myself so that she'll stay off of my bladder as I have actually thought about putting a bucket in the playroom just so I won't have to trek to the bathroom every five minutes. It's hard having to go poddy all of the time when you have an active toddler who you have to chase down in order to go.

Anyway, the Doctor was impressed with not only my weight...he actually said it was phenomenal which I had to laugh at because believe me, it is not a phenomenal number. He's impressed because I am actually losing weight and I guess when you have a ton to lose, losing some during pregnancy is fine by them. My blood pressure was excellent and my urine was clean...to much information I know! Today's appointment also meant getting my shot in the butt/hip since I have a negative blood type. I have to have a shot before delivery and after delivery with each pregnancy to ensure a healthy baby/pregnancy. I would be lying if I said it didn't sting just a tad today, in fact I jumped when the nurse jabbed it in.

I have another appointment in two weeks and then we start the once every single week appointment game. I can't believe we are almost to the finish line with this little girl. You should have seen me trying to get both myself and Addison out the door in a timely fashion this morning and then have to make an awful amount of bathroom visits while we were waiting for the Doctor with her in tow. I seriously don't think I am going to be able to leave the house much after this baby arrives because dragging along a newborn and an active one year old all by myself is just asking for trouble.

Christmas

2010-12-28T19:10:00.000-08:00

I can't believe the holidays have arrived and gone already. It seems like you spend so much time shopping, wrapping, baking, and planning get together's and then before you know it everything is done and over with. We had a really good Christmas this year with lots of family. Lots more that we could have spent time with but when your parents are divorced and then divorced again that leaves you with lots of stops but not enough time to get them in.

I'm still getting over a nasty stomach virus that I picked up on Christmas so this post is going to be mainly pictures but I thought I would share Addison's first Christmas with everyone so here we go.

Opening up her very first gift on Christmas Eve. It's a V-Tech phone that she adores thanks to the one that is at my Dad's.

She has no clue which toy to play with on Christmas morning.

Here she is with her Disney Princess tent with tunnel.

Going for her twin baby dolls which have become her favorite but also have warned Mommy and Daddy to never leave her alone with her baby sister...lol!

Taking a break, opening presents is hard work for such a little girl!

She started walking a good month or so ago but after a tumble down a flight of stairs...don't ask...she back pedaled a little and went back to crawling full time. It seems like a day or two before Christmas it was full speed ahead for walking and we are really enjoying ourselves as we sit back and watch her waddle around carrying all of her new toys. Where she finds some of her strength is beyond me but it's funny none the less. She's loving all of her new toys but we are seriously going to have to invest in some bigger toy boxes and I have given up trying to keep the area picked up during the day. Mommy picks everything up and then she pulls it right back out again.

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, I know that we did and next year should be even better with our second addition to the family!

Santa Claus is coming to town!

2010-12-13T13:29:00.000-08:00

Saturday we spent our afternoon among all of the crazy mall shoppers to do one very important thing...meet the big guy in red. Addison got to meet Santa for the very first time and other than a short stare down she did awesome. I am so proud of my big girl.

In line ready for the big moment...

Still patiently waiting...

At last, meeting the big guy for the very first time!

To conclude our Saturday adventure we came home and prepared for the winter storm heading our way. As Addison has gotten older she has gotten more and more interested in playing with things that aren't hers, aren't toys, and probably shouldn't be played with. Example being our cell phones, the remote control, and now this...Daddy's wallet and his debit card. She's not even ten months old yet and she's already hijacking his wallet. Does this mean we are in some serious trouble in about fifteen years?

A little Thanksgiving enjoyment...

2010-12-03T19:05:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to post some pictures from Addison's first Thanksgiving and I have finally got a second to do so. Did you know teething babies are the most irritable things alive. I have never seen someone so unhappy as what I have witnessed from Addison these past few days...I am grateful that we have both made it through alive.

Anyway, here are the pictures. To say she enjoyed her meals would be an understatement

Here she is with my cousin Heather who also happens to be her Godmother. The smile on that child's face is priceless!

This is her new grin...her face all scrunched up with her eyes shut...adorable.

There's something about those straps that she just loves.

A close up for the camera...she may or may not have been covered in food!

Thankful beyond words...

2010-11-25T08:22:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for this little girl. She is the light of my life and is helping me to walk through a very difficult dark period in my life. Without her I am nothing and I will cherish her for the rest of my life. I am enjoying all of her milestones and can't wait for the rest. This week we finally have a tooth coming in (seriously thought dentures might be in her future) and she is starting to walk. Yay for my little big girl.

Not to forget my other little miracle...Cadence, Mommy can't wait until this time next year when I have two little turkey's to love and adore. My heart is going to end up exploding from my chest because of the love I will have for the both of you little girls.

Thank you to my husband for giving me these two little miracles but we will be waiting for the third one right sweetie?

Happy turkey day everybody. May your day be filled with good food, wonderful family and friends, and a few memories to last you a lifetime.

Here piggy, piggy...

2010-11-02T11:52:00.001-07:00

A little late but too cute not to share with everyone! Addison went as a little piggy this year for Halloween. We felt she was still to young to actually go from door to door but she did enjoy helping her Daddy pass out candy at Grandma's house and she loved hanging out in her walker and watching everyone as they strolled by on the sidewalk. I can't wait for next year when she will actually be able to go trick or treating.

Addison with Daddy the big scary monster. Halloween is his favorite holiday.

Hanging out in her walker.

Mommy's Little Helper

2010-11-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Eight months old is just right to start your very first chores!

I like to help Mommy unload groceries...

I like to help her fold laundry...

I like to help load the dishwasher...

I also like to help her fix dinner every now and then...

I'm such a good little helper and Mommy appreciates a hand around here every once in awhile!

Pumpkin Patch 2010

2010-10-29T11:28:00.001-07:00

We finally made it to the pumpkin patch today. Better late than never I suppose. I can't wait until next year when Addison is up and walking and can really enjoy herself. This year it was more for Mom and Dad than it was for her but she was a good sport about it and posed for a few pictures. I would have loved to have taken more but about the time we got done visiting the animals and moving towards the pumpkins three, count em...three, greyhound buses pulled in jammed packed full of kids. That my friends was our cue to get the hell out of dodge. Tomorrow we'll be carving up our pumpkins and I can't wait to see how Addison reacts helping pull all of the gunk out. We'll have the freshest carved pumpkins in the neighborhood.

Which pumpkin shall I choose?

I think this is the perfect one!

Her very first try down the slide.

Addison with PJ the horse...slightly smaller than our Clydesdale's.

The goat that tried snatching her bottle...lol.

Firsts

2010-10-17T22:07:00.000-07:00

These next few months for us are going to be very busy and I can't wait. One of the cool things about being a first time Mom is that not only is Addison going to be experiencing a bunch of firsts, but I will be experiencing them for the first time as a Mom. Our first trip to the pumpkin patch, our first time carving pumpkins, our first Halloween, our first Thanksgiving, meeting Santa for the very first time, and most important of all our very first Christmas together. I don't think the holidays are truly enjoyed until you get to experience them through the eyes of your children. I actually had a mini breakdown just the other week thinking about how much fun the holidays are going to be now that we have children. Both Daniel and myself are so excited for Christmas this year that we can hardly stand it. Mommy and Daddy are anxiously awaiting Christmas shopping, present wrapping, and present unwrapping this year...Addison has no idea what she has coming her way. And to think next year is going to be double the fun of this year!

I have finally replaced my cable so I should be able to start downloading pictures to the computer straight from my camera now. No more heading to Wal-Mart to download them to disc thank the lord!! Anyway, this means that we have many, many pictures of the above mentioned events coming your way. We're making our way to the pumpkin patch sometime this week so the pictures will start then...lol. In the meantime here are a few pictures from the past few weeks.

Seriously??

Taking a spin on her new ride.

Hanging out in Grandma's bed.

Her very first wagon ride on the farm.

So cute...

Who needs expensive toys when you can just take a ride in your huggies diaper box?

One word...ADORABLE!!!

2010-10-14T21:19:00.000-07:00

Is my baby not the cutest little girl you have ever seen? There are no words to describe the love I have for this child. She is a comedian and makes me laugh multiples times a day! I am so blessed to be her Mommy...or shall I say "mum mum". This time next year there will be three babies in the pictures!

Addison with her cousin Dylan. The little mister turned a whole year old last week. It's pretty safe to say that we are all in a little bit of denial regarding how quickly these two are growing up and how quickly this year is flying by.

And on another note...when did it become acceptable for a complete stranger to come up to your child in the grocery and compare them with a butterball turkey? Just asking?

It's official...

2010-10-07T17:40:00.001-07:00

We're having another little girl. Cadence Leah Blankenship is on her way and we are thrilled to death even though I would have loved to have had my little boy.

I apologize that I am not blogging much...the cable to my camera to download pictures straight to the computer has stopped working which means I have to load up my memory card and then go to the store to download them to disc. This is part of the reason why I haven't blogged on my food site for ages. Hopefully I will be getting another one soon.

So many new things to talk about!

2010-09-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

I really thought that after I was done working I would have so much more time to blog. Man was I wrong...now that I have a child who is all over the place I have less time, that and I am being lazy and enjoying these few weeks because come February there will be no down time for me.

Addison has started a few new things these past few weeks and along the way we have taught her a trick or two. I have said it a million times and I promise I will say it another million times but seriously, I am in awe of this child. She is AMAZING! Her gummy grin and big blue eyes melt my heart every single day. I am fulfilled with this child yet I can't wait until our new little addition arrives.

A few weeks ago Addison started crawling and she hasn't stopped since. This child is all over the place and getting into everything...mainly the things she shouldn't be getting into such as pulling the night light out of the outlet, getting under the end tables, playing with Grandma's newspaper, chewing on dirty shoes, the list could go on and on and now that she's discovered where we keep the pots and pans and the canned goods I imagine the list will go on very quickly.

Now that I am home with her full time I am spending more time with her just playing and teaching her new things. We are practicing where our nose, ears, eyes, and mouth are. I gently touch hers and then I point to mine. I sing to her all of the time and she sings right along with me...it's so cute. This past weekend I taught her how to blow her nose. For the past week we had all been fighting a cold so she watched us all blow our noses time and time again. Just playing around one morning I blew mine and then got a tissue and told her to blow hers. Imagine my surprise when she actually blew into it as if she was trying to blow her nose. Let's just say I laughed so hard I peed my pants which isn't hard to do anymore since having had her and now being over four months pregnant with the new baby it's become an everyday occurrence. Now wherever we go we have to show everyone how she blows her nose. No one believes us that she actually blows into the tissue until they see and hear it themselves. All of her grandparents think it's hilarious and my Mom has to show everyone.We are learning very quickly that she is a fast learner and she loves to mimic everything that we do. If you hand her a cup she knows to take it straight to her mouth...she has been doing this for months and why we started her on a sippy cup about two months ago. My Mom has worked hard to teach her how to give a high five, and put her arms above her head when we say "big girl". Of course whenever she does these things we just laugh and applaud her so now she thinks she's hot stuff. When she first started crawling we would clap and praise her and let me tell you...my daughter is a ham and loves the praise.

Shortly after she started crawling full time she started sitting up all by herself, something that I have been anxious for her to do for awhile now. Her sitting up makes bath time so much easier on me. In the past week or so she has started pulling herself up into a kneeling/standing position on us and on things low to the ground such as her toys. She is slowly becoming brave enough to attempt the couch and chairs but she hasn't mastered them quite yet. I watch her everyday and can't believe just how big she is getting and how quickly she is becoming a big girl. Before long she is going to be walking across the stage getting her high school diploma.

Another milestone for her which has benefited me greatly is she is more anxious to eat her solids. Before I would struggle to get them in her because she was so involved with everything else around her. She is finally this week paying more attention to me and opening her mouth wide enough that more good gets in her belly than on her belly. We attempted fingers food about a week ago but she's not quite ready. I am hoping that in the next few weeks she will finally be ready. Just this afternoon when Daniel was eating a caramel apple she went straight for it and grabbed it out of his hands. The kid is strong and she was not about to let go of it. Daddy was kind enough to let her gnaw on it for a little while. I wish her teeth would start to come in...she is gnawing on everything right now. She loves to drink her juice. We get her apple juice, a yogurt drink that is mixed with apple juice, and just the other day we started her on carrot/apple juice which she loves. My kid loves carrots and butternut squash and she is getting to the point that if we grab a jar of food and a spoon she takes off for her chair...she knows what she's in store for. I told Daniel just this morning that we have another foodie on our hands.

In another week my little girl will be seven months old. I never imagined how quickly this first year would go for us. I am already planning her first birthday and I can't wait to start buying everything for it. I figured I would start stocking up now and getting everything ready since come January/February I more than likely won't be thrilled with having to start from the ground up. I still don't know how we are going to handle the party since the new baby could come whenever he or she wants. I pray everyday that this baby doesn't come on Addison's first birthday. I feel bad enough as it is that their birthdays will be so close together that they will never get their own individual parties. I just hope that they will at least get separate days so that we can celebrate them on separate occasions since my goal is to give each child their own birthday dinner just the four of us, or five depending on whether or not we have a third child. Mommy is not cooking two different dinners on one night...lol.

And not to be side tracked from the first birthday party but in the next few months we will be celebrating Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I have always loved the holidays, the weather, the decorations, the family togetherness, the food, but now that I am a mother the holidays have taken on a whole new meaning for me. Just the other day I broke down crying much to Daniel's surprise. I am looking forward to this years holidays like you wouldn't believe just for the simple fact we will have Addison to share them with. Christmas this year is going to be crazy and next year it will be even better as we will have two little rug rats to share it with. I realize everyday just how blessed I am and I couldn't be more thankful.

Six Months Old

2010-08-16T09:53:00.001-07:00

* This was supposed to post yesterday so please excuse the mix up!

Addison Grace, today you are six months old and I can barely believe it. I can't remember what life was like prior to you entering our world but yet it seems like only yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital. You make us laugh daily and you never cease to amaze me with your newly learned abilities.

You are by far one of the happiest babies ever. There are only a few moments during the day when there isn't a smile on your face and those moments are normally followed by bedtime. No matter what time of day it is whenever you awake from sleep you are always smiling...ALWAYS! I walk quietly into the bedroom in case you aren't ready to be up and there you are rocking back and forth in your pac n play peering over the edge with a grin on your face because Mommy has come to rescue you. I call out "Baby" and you just wiggle and squirm and just can't hold still. I kiss your round cheeks and run my fingers through your hair to fix it and I take in your sweet baby scent. It's mind boggling just how much I love you little one.

Mommy has been such a bad blogger and I haven't posted any updates or pictures for your four or five month birthdays so I am going to give your updates and then I will post pictures later. *Our computer hasn't been moved to our new residence so bear with me.

The last you were weighed you were so close to being sixteen pounds. My guess is since that was about three weeks ago you have hit the sixteen pound mark. You have such a good appetite when you pay attention but feeding you solids is such a struggle because you are such a nosey little girl, you pay attention to everything else but Mommy and the spoon heading towards your mouth. You are twenty five inches long and we can already tell you will be a long little girl. You are in six to nine month clothing because the six month clothing just isn't long enough for you.

These past few weeks have been a major milestone for you as you have started crawling. You're not a professional yet since you do more rocking back and forth than anything but you have crawled, especially when you want something that is just out of reach.

We are still working on your ability to sit up all by yourself but you are so close I can taste it. I think I am more ready for you to be sitting than you are but you'll get there before long.

Bath time has become quite the adventure as you no longer hold still. You flop around from back to belly to back to side to crawling all because you must have the cup in your hands at all time. This cup is bigger than you (plastic milkshake cup from Steak N Shake) and you are constantly trying to hold it just right so you can attempt to drink out of it. You have already experienced that that is a bad idea once but you still keep on trying it.

Diaper changes and getting you dressed is also no longer an easy task. As soon as you spot something you start rolling over and trying to take off after it. My life would be a little easier if I could just let you crawl around without a diaper or clothing.

As I mentioned above you are eating solids, of course this is only when you can pay attention long enough. You eat all of the fruits and veggies and just this week we have started you on Gerber Yogurt Drinks which you seem to really enjoy. You are capable of holding your bottle all by yourself but more often than not I still hold the bottle for you because like I said you won't pay attention. You see something you want...the bottles drops to the floor and leaks everywhere. You see Mommy or Daddy or anybody for that matter and you just have to grin which means your mouth full of milk spills out everywhere. I was not kidding when I said you smile all of the time!

You would much rather play with a cup or your bag of diapers than you would an actual toy. I don't know why we even spend the money buying you toys when just the other night Daddy gave you an empty Pringles can and you just couldn't get enough of it. Of course maybe it was because you knew what had once been in that can and memories of sour cream and onion Pringles flashed through your mind since Mommy ate them all of the time while you were growing in my belly.

You love dogs, especially when they are quiet since you still aren't fond of loud noises. We aren't even allowed to sneeze or cough in the same room as you since as soon as we do the waterworks start spilling down on the cheeks and that bottom lip of yours comes out full force. Grandma has a miniature schnauzer who is thirteen years old, Sassy has quickly become the center of your world and you stop whatever you're doing just to watch her. If you're in your excersaucer and she walks by you you make the funniest face, like you have to go to the bathroom but can't, and you form your little hands into fists.

I am so glad that this is my last week of work for a quite awhile...fingers crossed. Leaving you each morning is becoming harder and harder and it took everything inside of me to leave you yesterday morning. No matter what time it is you always wake up right as I am heading out the door and yesterday was no exception. I hand you a bottle, change your diaper, and throw you into bed with Daddy. Monday morning though you were not interested in going back to sleep. You just laid there under the comforter surrounded by pillows and all I saw was this cute little face peaking up from the covers watching my every move. I stood in the doorway with the door cracked waving to you and you just smiled. And then when I shut the door to go ahead and leave you started crying...Lord how that hurt my heart. I wanted so badly to walk right back in there and snatch you up but rest assured little girl...we only have a few more days!

Your new favorite word and pretty much the only one you will say is "hey". We all say "hi" to you and if we're lucky we'll get a "hey" right back. We were laying in bed Sunday morning when Grandma came in and she said "hi" to you, you said "hey" right back, talk about cracking us up! We can also get you to say "num, num" when we're feeding you. I'll say "yummy, yummy" and then you follow up with your "num, num". You still can't laugh yet. It's more like a giggle here and there and mainly it sounds like you have asthma and are wheezing to catch your breath. It drives your Aunt Megan crazy! You also remind me of a squawking bird. You do these short little squeal/screams back to back and I am not kidding...it sounds like a squawking baby bird.

Overall you are just amazing. I tell you time and time again how much I love you but there are no words to describe my feelings for you. A few weeks ago a baby just a tad bit older than you was killed by the hands of his Father. I cried for this child and his memory and I cried for the lack of love and emotion that his parents felt for him. The mere thought of someone hurting you makes me ill and I can't imagine my life without you in it. I honestly don't know that I could go on living without you in my life...that is how much I love you. How someone could not love you or any other child to the point of obsession is beyond me. I am so blessed that you are my child and that God chose me as your Mother. Please know that your Daddy and I will protect you until the ends of the earth and that our love for you is so strong we would die for you. We will always be your number one fans and we will support you through all of your journeys. We love sitting back and watching you go yet are sad at the thought. You are getting so big so quickly that we can't help but miss what we are losing. Happy six months baby girl...six more and you will be a year old and celebrating with a new little brother or sister. February is about to become a very busy month for our little family!

Allow me to introduce you...

2010-08-12T10:21:00.000-07:00

Since I have been better for awhile now and since you're probably really tired of seeing that I have been better for awhile I thought I would take a moment to introduce you to someone pretty special.

World...meet Blankenship baby #2

Baby #2...meet the world.

We can't wait to actually meet you in seven more months!

I'm all better!

2010-07-02T09:19:00.001-07:00

Just thought you would like to know, I have fully recovered from my emotional breakdown earlier in the week. I have not felt that kind of despair in a long time. It should have been one of those stay at home in bed kind of days! I have moved on to my happy place now and I pray that it's here to stay...I sure don't want to have another melt down.

Since I haven't posted any pictures of my peanut lately here are a few for your viewing pleasure. Is she not the most adorable thing you have ever seen? My heart just melts whenever I look at her. Lord help me if this new baby is just as awesome as Addison...my heart will be beating out of my chest with all of the emotion I will have for them. Oh wait, how can this baby not be just as awesome...I will love them both the same no matter what their personalities are.

She has the most beautiful blue eyes ever! She's giving her Mommy a run for her money!

Daddy getting her to smile!

So big...And only because I can only imagine what she must be thinking...

You're having a bad day if that expression doesn't make you laugh out loud.

Pregnancy hormones take 1...

2010-06-29T09:42:00.001-07:00

I don't know what is about today but at 12:42 p.m. I am seriously on the verge of a mini meltdown and we're only half way through the day. I know it's a combination of being pregnant, losing my job, not being with Addison, and realizing that we're moving but for crying out loud. I am sitting here blowing my nose and wiping away my tears with a freakin' Chipotle napkin that I had leftover from lunch today.

I am making myself sick wanting to be with Addison. We're so close to being together full time but yet we are so far away I am a complete emotional mess. Not to mention the raging morning sickness that I was suffering with this morning that I would much rather deal with in the comfort of my own home rather than at my place of employment in a public restroom. A week ago I was ok with not being at Addison's side day in a day out. I think it's because we didn't know any better and we knew me coming into work everyday was a way of life and that we just had to cope with it. But NOW...now that we know it isn't going to be our way of life it's heart wrenching to keep leaving her every morning. I wake up at 6:35 every morning, I change her diaper, feed her a bottle all while laying in our bed with her gently rubbing my face and talking sweet nothings into my ear. It takes every ounce of strength in my body to make myself get up and out of the bed to finish getting ready for work and not continue laying there with her in my arms. It pains me beyond words to call home nine hundred times a day and hear her in the background...to hear my husband say she is trying so hard to crawl but she just can't seem to master it...to hear her frustration in the background from the inability to move around like she wants so badly to do. My strength in coping is wavering as I lost count of how many times I contemplated sneaking out of here and wondering if my team lead would even notice.

I need my baby and I need her badly. I want to go home and tell her she will crawl in due time and I want to go home and praise her for every inch further she is able to move on her own. I want to go home and snack on her little toes and her chubby cheeks. I want to go home and wrestle with her during diaper changes and grin when I see the cute little baby butt that I now see every time we change a diaper because she wants to roll over instead. I want to go to the Doctor and get my nausea medication and I want to hear that this baby growing within me is a healthy viable baby just like they did last July when I was pregnant with Addison. I want to see this baby on the big screen and see it's little heart beat wildly in it's chest. I want to know if we're having a son or another gorgeous daughter. I want to feel this baby move all about in my tummy and I want it to be February already so that I can hold him or her in my arms. And then I realize I am not ready for it to be February yet because I don't want Addison to be a year old , I still want her to be my little baby who still needs me for everything. And I want someone to tell me everything is going to be ok, that everything happens for a reason, and that when one door closes another one opens, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel, etc, etc., etc. And dammit I want someone to tell me to man up and quit your crying. For someone to tell me to perk up and get off of this path of negativity for crying out loud, and that if I don't knock it off I will turn into my own little episode of the "Young and the Restless" where we will all be confused and miserable because we can't keep track of who is divorced from whom, and who remarried who, and whose dead and whose not and why one day they have a two year old kid and now the kid has morphed into a 22 year old adult overnight and that just wouldn't be good...not good at all.

And at 1:21 I feel a little bit better now that I have gotten that off of my chest and soaked every last napkin I had left with my waterworks. And one things for sure...boy am I glad that I have Monday off for the 4th...I need that extra day and in case you were wondering...that will leave me with 37 days of being away from my baby buttercup. Lord have mercy on everyone reading my blog between now and then!

Shocking news just keeps pooring in!

2010-06-25T05:47:00.000-07:00

Well if it isn't one thing it's always another, especially in our house. Not only do I have a four month old daughter with another baby on the way but now I am out of work. After more years that I care to think about I was given my pink slip yesterday from the mortgage company that I work for. A part of me is sad, frustrated, and down right angry. But then there is the other part that is glad. Glad because my dream has come true. I get to be a stay at home Mom for awhile and with another little one on the way it couldn't come at a better time.

My last day of work is August 20th and I can't wait. I am going to be a part of the club that can do activities during the day with my children! We are going to be selling our house which is a bummer but we knew it was time even without losing my job. We're going to be moving in with my Mom and paying off all of our debts, selling Daniel's junk pile of a car (take my word for it, Chrysler 300's are not that special...I hate that car), and saving lots of money. In a few years we hope to have enough money saved up that we can buy an empty lot and start building our dream home. I also plan on going back to school once the new baby gets here.

I guess the saying is true, "When one door closes, another one opens!"

Can you tell I am pregnant again? Check out my misspelling up there in the title. Seriously, pooring...come on Katie! LOL

One word...SHOCKED!

2010-06-21T06:34:00.000-07:00

I know I have mentioned it time and time again but for those of you just tuning in, it took Daniel and I several years to conceive Addison. We had actually come to the point where my health, which was horrible last year, took priority over having a child and we set parenthood on the back burner. We made the ultimate decision for me to get better and that once that occurred we would begin the long process of determining why we were having infertility issues. Imagine our surprise that days after we had come to that decision we wound up pregnant with Addison. It's amazing how life sometimes turns out.

We found out we were expecting Addison on June 13th 2009 and by June 15th I had already seen the Doctor. I was considered high risk due to my health and it even went as far as having surgeons on stand by in case I needed immediate surgery to remove my gall bladder. Never would I have guessed that my pregnancy would have been so uncomplicated and easy, I was prepared for a battle.

Now many of you are going to say I had lost my mind but honestly, the day we brought Addison home from the hospital I was ready to do it all over again with baby number two. My pregnancy was normal, my labor and delivery was normal...knock on wood, so I didn't have any horror stories or memories that would prevent me from being ready again. Daniel at that point was my only obstacle. He and his younger brother are 10 1/2 months apart and he was adamant that we would not be repeating that so we discussed when it would be right to start trying again. We tossed out a few numbers and had pretty much decided between six and twelve months. We knew we wanted the kids to be close together but spaced far enough that life would be half way civilized for us. Of course when you want to wait a few months before you start trying for another one you actually have to do something to prevent it from happening sooner. We did not do that and it's not my fault. Because of my Crohns disease I cannot take birth control. I found that out the hard way let me tell you! I did have the option of having shots or something implanted but after years of infertility taking something to prevent children is a very scary thought and it's one I shot down very quickly. Now this of course meant that somebody else was responsible for preventing a child and as most typical men are, he was not thrilled with the thought. Then you add in the detail of Daniel being just as obsessed with Addison as I am and you have a problem. If I told him once I told him a million times that if I got pregnant again so soon it was his fault and if he ever uttered the words that we was upset or that he wished we would have waited I would have killed him. That threat obviously didn't bother him and then finally when I asked him if he was OK with it he actually said to me that he was having so much fun with Addison that he didn't care if it happened so soon.

Well it happened and it happened very soon, sooner than I anticipated actually. Who would have thought that after years of trying for Addison that baby two would happen without really trying and three months after having Addison. I think that was a big part of our desire to go ahead and try again. The fear was still in the back of my mind that if we didn't take advantage of my "after pregnancy" fertility that we would risk it taking years again for another one and it scared me. We found out we were pregnant on June 16th 2010 and if my calculations or correct we are due on February 20th 2011. It's almost as if I am repeating last year day for day. I would just like to add, we will not be repeating this next year...just an FYI!

So far I haven't been as sick as I was with Addison and in all honesty...I still don't think it has officially sunk in that I am pregnant. I keep looking at the pregnancy test thinking that one of these times I will look and one of the pink lines will be missing and then won't I be the fool for announcing it to the world. We tried really, really hard to wait for the big announcement this time but yet again we just couldn't do it.

I am well aware of the fact that we are still in the beginning stages and we are not out of the clear yet so anything could happen but our being parents yet again is a big deal for us and one that we want to announce from the roof tops. I pray I won't have to make a sad announcement but I will if I have to and it will be a little easier than the announcement I read over the weekend. Baby Cohen, who I mentioned in an earlier post that was born with a broken heart, lost his fight late last week. Losing a child, even if it is still growing within you, is a terrible thing to experience. It is one that I hope I will never have to live through. I cannot fathom what this young couple is going through. Faced with their own infertility issues they managed to overcome it only to be told that their unborn child was sick and would need surgery immediately after birth. He died with them only having held him for a few short minutes right after his birth. In the few days he spent here on Earth he endured surgery after surgery. It makes me angry and sad that they couldn't experience what Daniel and I experienced and that Cohen couldn't be healthy and perfect like our Addison is.

Please keep this family in your thoughts and prayers that they may find the peace and the comfort that will allow them to continue on.

Love your children today as if it were your last. Hold them in your arms and take in their sweet scents. Count their fingers and their toes and apply soft kisses to their chubby little cheeks. Savor their cries and their temperamental outbursts and comfort them in your lap. Allow their sweet smiles and soft giggles to melt your heart. Enjoy being just as wet as they are after bath time and appreciate diaper changes, spit ups, and food thrown all over your kitchen floor. It's those moments that you take for granted and those moment that Cohen parents would give anything to experience.

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T05:16:00.000-07:00

I am so blessed to have so many wonderful guys in my life. While there are so many negative aspects about being a child of divorce the plus is that you get the fortune of having so many more wonderful people in your life than you would have had your parents stayed married.

My Dad is one of my best friends, someone I can call about anything and we do typically speak to each other every other day or so. In the past I would talk to him at least once a day. He just loves being a Papaw to his two little babies. Although when I told him about the 3rd that is on it's way he told me that my sister and I were obviously trying to kill him...lol.

My Step-Dad has been in my life since I was around two years old. He and my Mom married when I was three years old so I don't remember a time when he wasn't involved. While he and my Mom are no longer together he still considers me his daughter. He sent me to private school growing up, bought me my first car, and sent me to college which I screwed up royally. He is supportive in almost every decision I have made, except for the not finishing college part, but can we really blame him?

Not only am I blessed to have two Dad's, I also have this pretty special guy in my life and he is my Father...my Godfather so that counts. If you want to talk supportive this guy is supportive one hundred percent. He loves me like his own and he welcomed me into his home, his family, and all of their events as if I was their own. I love you Uncle Dan! If love could make you better, you would be as healthy as a horse!

Last but not least there is this guy! Daniel has far exceeded my expectations of his being a father. I knew he would be a good Dad but seriously, I don't have to ask him to change dirty diapers, give Addison baths, or help with the nighttime feedings. He does it all without hesitation and he loves this little girl in a way that he will never love me. He is part of the reason why baby #2 is on it's way. Through all of my countless "I want another baby already" comments he supported me for one reason and these are his exact words, "why not I am having fun". Happy first Father's day Sweetie...you deserve it and I can't wait until this time next year!

How it all began...

2010-06-18T06:44:00.000-07:00

Today over at Kelly's Korner it's show us your life Friday again. This Friday is all about your engagement.

Our engagement is short and straight to the point, it's not mushy or sentimental, but it's ours and someday I will get to tell my grandchildren all about it.

Daniel and I started dating on March 19th 2005, we both knew at our one anniversary that we would end up getting married and I was secretly hoping for the engagement ring to seal that fate. March 19th 2006 came and went with no ring, no big deal, I knew it would happen eventually.

Shortly after that date we started discussing buying a house together, we spent weekend after weekend looking at houses trying to figure out what we wanted and didn't want in our first home. After yet another Sunday looking for a home we made a dinner pit stop at one of our local Olive Gardens...salad and bread sticks is all I have to say about that...lol. It just so happened that right outside the window was a jewelry store. I hinted around that maybe we should stop in and check rings out since we were in the area that way he would be more knowledgeable in what I was looking for in an engagement ring. I do not wear jewelry other than my engagement ring, wedding band, and my birthstone ring from Addison, so I wanted to make sure he bought me a ring that I would wear for the rest of my life. I wasn't interested in eventually trading up like so many women are today. Anyway, much to my surprise he agreed so we stopped in and started looking around. I of course fell in love right away with my engagement ring but I was more than prepared to walk out empty handed to wait for the day when Daniel would have the money set aside to purchase it and officially propose. I still can't believe it but when he saw just how much I loved that ring he stopped me when I was handing it back to the clerk. Daniel said I could keep it on and we bought it right there on the spot. I got proposed to in the middle of the jewelry store with a bunch of sales clerks standing around...so romantic...lol. The official date was May 7th 2006 and we were married on May 5th 2007, almost exactly a year later.

I can't believe how fast these three years have flown by and I can't begin to describe how great it is to know we still truly love one another and that we have the most gorgeous little girl in the world. We both had come to the realization that together we may never become parents so it's a wonderful feeling to be able to gaze upon our daughter knowing that she is what happened when two lives joined together. It may have taken over two years but she's here and we are happy and we are even more happy knowing that baby #2 is on it's way. Yes, you read that right! Baby #2 is expected to arrive February 20th 2011. No we are not crazy and yes I realize that we could very well have two kids under the age of one for a few short days but we are tickled pink. We also have come to terms with the fact that Addison could be blowing out candles and opening her gifts in between Mommy's contractions at the hospital. A year and a half ago I prayed for a baby...now look at us...we are about to have a second! The pregnancy is still very early so we are praying that the outcome is the same as it was for Addison...that I carry and give birth to a healthy little boy or girl. I can't wait to share the journey of our second pregnancy along with updates on Addison's growth and new feats.

My lifeline...

2010-06-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

I knew when I got pregnant with Addison that my life was going to change dramatically. I knew life would no longer revolve around me or Daniel and that everything we had, both physically and emotionally, would go into raising this little girl.

I will be the first to tell you that I have had my moments of utter despair with this little girl. Those moments where I just want to lay her in her bed and shut the door on her crying and screaming just so I can go into my room and shut the door and sob out of defeat. I quickly remind myself though that three years ago I was sobbing in my room thinking that we would never become parents. That feeling of defeat is one I could never describe to you and one that you would never understand unless you have experienced it first hand. I catch myself holding her and looking deep into her eyes and it has still not fully sunk in that this little girl, this bundle of absolute joy standing on my lap is mine...all mine, and Daniel's to by the way. I conceived this child, I carried this child within me for ten long months, and what still blows my mind is that this child actually came out of my body, naturally...with the help of a few drugs. Will it ever sink in that I don't have to give her back? That her Mommy won't be by later to pick her up?

Since creating this particular blog and becoming a Mommy I have been more fascinated by the other thousands of blogs out there dedicated to families/children by women. I have been witness to amazing birth stories, birthdays, and rights of passage into transitioning from a baby to a child. I have also stumbled by what seems like so many blogs announcing illness and death in these very women's young babies and children. I am reminded on a daily basis just how blessed I am and how fortunate that I was to be able to successfully carry Addison for ten months knowing that in the end she would be healthy. I am reminded of this because of this family and their newest bundle Cohen. Two days after his birth and after several months of knowing that he had a broken heart, he underwent open heart surgery. I cry for this family just thinking about it and I cry knowing that their situation could have easily been our situation. The thought of Addison going through such a traumatic experience so soon after birth is traumatizing to me. The thought alone of something happening to my baby sends me into a tailspin. The thought of her being broken and me not being able to fix her is one of the most terrifying things I think I could ever experience and I pray every single day that it is one I will never have to go through.

Like I said above, I knew my entire emotional being would be focused around Addison but never until I stumbled upon Cohen and his families blog did I know just how big of a deal that would be. I would die for my child and I would kill for my child, that is how deep my emotions run concerning her. My love for Addison is unmeasurable and borderline obsession. I know deep down inside that no matter how much I love my husband and my family, I will never love anyone, not even them, as much as I love this little girl and her future siblings.

I have gone from being concerned about my own self being and existing in the world in which we are currently living, to being scared of what I may have done to my daughter by giving birth to her. Will she enjoy the freedoms and the luxuries that we have taken for granted...twenty, even thirty years from now? The thought of her suffering at the hands of this often times cruel world scares me and upsets me. I wish we lived in the land of lollipops and cupcakes overshadowed by sunshine and rainbows but alas we don't. I can only hope that ten, twenty, heck even sixty years from now she can still open her front door without the fear of death, of being able to watch her children play in their front yard, and of always being able to obtain the proper nourishment and medical needs.

Lord how I love this child! I wish upon her a lifetime of happiness and happy ever afters and I pray that God allows me to witness her every step of the way.

Busy Weekend...

2010-06-02T16:05:00.000-07:00

I sorta fell off the face of the blogging world now didn't I? I apologize I have just been really lazy and haven't gotten around to it. I did create one post but blogger wouldn't allow me to upload pictures to it on the several occasions I tried so I just gave up on it.

We had a very busy weekend here. Saturday morning at 9:45 thank you...my sister Megan graduated from high school. She is glad to be done and I can't say as I blame her.

Graduation was followed by a nice nap and then a cook out with some family. Sunday was our only lazy day and we didn't accomplish a darn thing...it was lovely...lol.

Addison and I did spend the night with my step-dad, his girlfriend Kathy, and with Megan on Sunday night in preparation of the big graduation party on Monday. I thought we would go over to help cook and I was making cake balls. SOMEBODY was of no help...she fell asleep on the job as shown below...lol.

Not only did Megan graduate from high school but my brother Steve is graduating from college on June 12th...they did a joint party that way family only had to come in once.

Addison went swimming for the first time on Monday and I think she is still debating on whether or not she will be doing it again. My little cousins Maria and Monica were having a good time with her. They are the youngest of six kids so I think they were amazed that there was a kid smaller than them. Monica kept rubbing Addison's head!

What's a graduation party without a little Rock Band??

Not much else to report, right now I am concentrating on the thunder storm going on! Thank god for the internet because the satellite is out.

Three Months Old & Counting...

2010-05-18T11:12:00.001-07:00

Yesterday Addison turned three months old. I can't believe how much my little baby has changed in just these past three months. It's weird because when I think three months it seems like it was just yesterday but when I look at her, I swear she has been with us for forever. In fact I have trouble remembering what it was like before Addison came home with us. I sat at our computer desk last night thinking to myself that just three months ago it was just me and the dogs at home and now we have this little baby who was talking away in her swing watching television. It's amazing how things change once a child enters into the picture. What is even more amazing is how much better things are with a child.

We had her two month well visit this past Friday, which was a month late, and she weighed in at 12 1/2 lbs and was 23 1/2 in long. The kid is average! We have twiddled our thumbs for a month now concerning her two months shot which is why we are just now doing them. We went back and forth between should she have them, should she only have some of them, as first time parents we are new to this and really want to educate ourselves before we start allowing all of these vaccinations so we took our time. Friday was not a good day for us. Not because I was absolutely dreading her getting these shots because I just couldn't bear the thought of my little baby being poked three times, but because she was sick. Since Daniel thought he would have to go into work Friday and we knew this appointment was scheduled I went ahead and took a vacation day from work. That way I could spend the entire day with my little princess plus do some running around with my sister Nikki and her son Dylan. We started our little adventure back at my work so that my step-mom could show off the grand kids. Back in the day there was a whole slew of my relation working there, now it's just down to me and my step-mom. In the mortgage industry it's amazing that we are still standing.

Anyway, to make a long story short, crap hit the fan about five minutes after we arrived. I have never in the three months this child has been alive, seen her cry and carry on like she did. It was almost embarrassing because all of these women could hear her screaming and one by one they started making their way into the bathroom to see what was wrong with the child and offer their advice on how to make her stop. None of the advice worked by the way, she just stopped on her own after about 20 minutes, or what seemed like 3 hours.

Now we quickly hightailed it out of there before meltdown number 2 occurred and she ended up doing just fine the rest of the day. We hit up Sam's Club, Babies R Us where we FINALLY found a one piece bathing suit in her size, and Logan's Roadhouse for some lunch. Her appointment was at 3:30 and we made it there with no time to spare. She was fine while we sat and waited to be called back even played around with Aunt Nikki a little bit. They call us back...I proceed to strip her down to her undiewears and it happens...meltdown #2 of the day. Over the course of the next HOUR they determine that she has a temperature, needs to switch over to soy formula, and oh by the way...possibly has strep throat. Say what?? Monday through Friday she does not leave the house and she really only goes to see family on the weekends...how in the lords name does she have strep throat?? The test came back negative but her throat was very red and very raw so they sent the swab out for further testing. We still haven't heard anything so they must not have found anything.

They gave her some Tylenol, a generic brand so please calm down if you immediately thought recall, and proceeded to send us home...for a very, very long and miserable weekend. She was upset all Friday night but woke up just fine Saturday morning. We ran a few errands and came home and by 5 or so the meltdowns began again. This time it lasted until about 10 Saturday night. Nobody slept, the husband and I got into a major fight Saturday evening, and she proceeded to get constipated from the formula change which did not help things. I think we're finally back to normal even though we have no clue what just happened to all of us...lol.

Now that I got the bad stuff out of the way on to some baby stats!

~ Addison you are wearing three to six month clothing but would prefer to just wear your diaper. Your Father started this little habit and it's pretty common to get home form work to find you in your swing in only your diaper and your Dad in the recliner in his underwear. Like Father like daughter I guess! :)

~ You are still in size one diapers though Aunt Nikki suggested stepping up to size two since she said you had a butt cheek hanging out of your diaper at the doctors on Friday. It was because we couldn't get it back on your properly since you were not happy but I am going to try one tonight and see how we do.

~ You sleep through the night, well almost through the night. Our typical bedtime is 10 and you usually wake up around 5 or so for a bottle. More often than not you go right back to sleep. As hard as I try to fight the urge you usually sleep nestled in my arms. It's not because you have to because you can truly sleep wherever we put you, it's because I find such comfort in holding you in my arms so that I can smell the lavender scent of your baby shampoo. I know I need to break myself of this habit but it's soooo hard!

~ You like getting a bath. You don't love it, you don't hate it. As long as we have the water warm enough and don't splash any water up on your face you are just fine. When Daddy puts you in your baby tub you kick your legs around like you're trying to swim and he gets the biggest kick out of it. I usually use your bath sponge and you just lay there like you have nothing better to do giving me the occasional smile. You love getting your hair washed and have since your first shampoo shortly after your birth. I love it to so I completely understand!

~ We have slowly started you on solid foods and I think we are going to start giving them to you more frequently since the bottle just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. Right now you are getting between 4 and 5 ounces of formula every two hours or so. If we feed you any more than that you throw it up and you are usually not a happy camper when we take the empty bottle away. I have gotten into the habit of telling you that the bottle is "all gone...it's all in your belly" just so you don't think I am just taking it away from you with milk still left. I think you are going to be just like your Daddy. He was stick thin growing up so I think you are going to have a fast metabolism, hence why we are going to start you on more solids. By the way, you do not care for carrots.

~ You love watching television. I think all of the colors and movements fascinate you. Daddy has been turning cartoons on for you...or maybe it's for him, I am not really sure at this point in the game...lol. We discovered a few weekends ago that you enjoy sitting in your Bumbo chair watching Nascar. Your papaw is going to be so proud!

~ You are fascinated by the dogs. Especially Bandit and Toby. Bandit likes coming over and just staring at you like it's a throw down and you just stare right back. I can only imagine what you two are really thinking.

Bandit- "I'm not sure who you think you are kid but you and this swing need to get outta here. Before you showed up I was Mom's little man with the sad brown eyes that could melt her heart...now all I hear is blue eyes this and blues eyes that. And another thing...this game you play each night, yeah you know the one, the one where you just so happen to start crying for a bottle right when Mom is getting ready to feed me and the other boys is for the birds. Knock it off or you'll lose another bottle when Mom and Dad aren't looking! Yeah that's right...it was me and not Lennon...he was just my fallback, stupid kid doesn't know what hit him."

Addison- "What is that hairy thing that keeps coming over and standing at the foot of my swing like he's got something he needs to say to me?? And the breath, man do something about that breath, you're going to stunt my growth with that stuff. And while we're laying everything out, quit scaring the crap out of me every evening when you oh so conveniently wake up and shake your head back and forth. Your jewels on that man necklace you wear rattle together and make me wet myself and it makes my Mommy pissy!"

~ You are talking so much right now...of course we need someone to try to translate but it's adorable none the less.

~ You love getting your diaper changed. I think you know how rank your diapers can be and you take great pride in making your parents suffer through diaper changes. You laugh and coo and just carry on, all while Mom and Dad are trying not to throw up. Yesterdays diaper change after the bout of constipation required Mom having to help you get rid of a little something. What a mother will do for her child! Dad had his nose plugged, a wash cloth over my nose, and we're both tearing up because of the smell and you just laid there smiling away at our expense. And Addison, you know it's a bad diaper when Mr. Leaky Winky Licker himself, a.k.a. Lennon has to leave the room.

~ You are most comfortable laying on your side and with your face plastered into something. I lay you along my pillows when I get up in the morning only to come back to find you turned on your side grabbing onto the nearest pillow with your head buried deep within it. Now you turn on your side in your swing and grab hold of the lambs ear which is the pillow. You fall asleep in this awkward sideways position holding on to his ear for dear life with your face smashed into the pillow. You crack me up child!

I'm sure I missed a few things but I will come back and add them if need be. The one thing I do know is that you are so incredibly special. Your Daddy says I am being selfish because I don't let anyone take you from me whether for a few hours or overnight. I don't really care what everyone thinks. I waited two very long years to hold you in my arms and I miss so much of your life during the week because I work as it is. I treasure every moment I get with you on the weekends and right now while we experience so many firsts as a new little family, there is no need for you to be away from us right now. I truly cannot get enough of you and I find myself just taking you in my arms and laying you gently in my bed so that we can just lay there staring at each other and having our girl talk. I keep telling your Daddy that now is the time to be selfish with you because in just a few shorts months you will be more independent and won't need us to just sit and cuddle with you. You will be on your way crawling back and forth and round and round and will have not interest with being contained in our arms.

I love you little girl, more than I ever knew possible.

Mommy

Another Kelly's Korner

2010-05-07T07:07:00.000-07:00

Today on Kelly's Korner, it's "Show us your life- Your kids or future kids names" day so since I have had names picked out for forever I thought I would share.

What young girl who plans on raising a family one days does not think about the names of her future children?

Growing up I went from using Mercedes (don't ask it was an elementary school thing), to Kennedy or Reagan, and then finally to Addison. Can you tell I was all about having a daughter?

Obviously Addison took as that is what we named our little bundle of sweet goodness but I still have a few up my sleeves for future children even though we more than likely won't use them.

I am one of those weird parents who likes having a theme to all of their children's names. For me a first name ending with s-o-n was the way to go hence the name Addison. Plus, Daniel said we couldn't name all of our children to have the same first initial.

We now have Addison Grace and then for future use I had the names; Emerson(Emmie) Faith, Jackson Daniel, and Grayson Matthew all picked out and ready to use. Of course Daniel has to throw a kink into everything so he shot down the middle name of Faith which so totally went with Addison's middle name of Grace, and he also threw out the name Grayson. Of course he had absolutely know problem with the name Jackson Daniel and gee, I wonder why?

Did I seriously just spell no as know. Why yes I did...do you see what pregnancy has done to my spelling abilities? I now have to proof read work related e-mails no less than three times before sending them to their recipients thanks to this wonderful issue.

Now, if you're wondering why we more than likely won't be using any of those other names here is why? First of all the name Jackson has grown in popularity this year. I kid you not I know of three babies who were just born this past year all with the name of Jackson. It's even worse than Addison which we actually considered changing. I just couldn't do it though because as some of you know, I had the name picked out since high school and I just couldn't sever the emotional tie I had with that name. Second, like I stated Daniel didn't like Faith for the middle name for Emerson and to be honest he doesn't care to much for Emerson. Third, other than because Daniel didn't care for it, we can't go with Grayson because our new girl name is Kadence Marie and we can't have one kid not a part of Mommy's crazy s-o-n theme, it just wouldn't be right and since I am anal like that it would drive me crazy for the rest of my life.

Now that we have no boys names picked out I guess I better get back to the drawing board. It was so nice being pregnant and not fighting over a name or hoping that you would have one picked out by the time you were released from the maternity ward.

I think I like the name Ethan, yeah Ethan could work...now I just have to get Daniel on board. Oh brother!!! I would also like to add that I really, really, really like the name Harrison. The entire family pretty much vetoed that one from the beginning. Has anybody seen the movie "The Geisha Boy" with Jerry Lewis? Our family LOVES that movie and in it Jerry's rabbits name is Harry. All I can ever think about when saying the name Harry is how Jerry says it in the movie..."Harryyyyyy", "Harryyyyyyyyyy", "Harryyyyyy Nooooooooo". Well anyway, that's how I came up with the name Harrison. Blasted family for shooting my dreams down! LOL

And.........for you're viewing pleasure, my little bunde of sweet goodness...Lord how I could eat this child up! Get a load of those eyelashes while you're looking!

Last week...

2010-05-04T18:11:00.000-07:00

...went a little something like this;

Happy Addison

to pissed off Addison as shown here

Same time frame...we were just trying on new headbands!

WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE

2010-04-30T09:23:00.000-07:00

To the rotten individual who somehow abducted the perfect little angel that I brought home from the hospital on February 20th listen up! You have until 10 p.m. tonight to bring her back home to her adoring parents and take the child that you replaced her with who refuses to be content.

Seriously though, Addison has cried more in the past three days than she has in the entire two and a half months that she has been alive. She doesn't sleep which means Mommy and Daddy are barely sleeping. She cries in her swing, bumbo chair, and her boppy chair. We pick her up to console her and she still cries.

I have switched the nipples on her bottles from the slow vent to fast vent, added rice cereal (which pains me greatly by the way), added her gas drops to the mix, and gave her her first dose of grape flavored Tylenol and nothing worked. The minute I gave her the Tylenol she settled down and became very content but it wasn't from the Tylenol because it is impossible to work the second you give it to a baby. The contentment only lasted about two hours though before she was back at it and I didn't see the point in giving her anymore.

I hope that she is just experiencing colic or having a hard time adjusting to our new schedule. Daniel has started on third shift so the poor girl is forced to sleep all night with me and then go right back to bed with Daddy when he gets home at 6:30 in the morning.

No matter what the problem is I know one thing...I DEMAND that my perfect little angel come home to me immediately. I miss you immensely!!!

Sincerely,

Your grieving and very exhausted Mother~~

Sleepy Baby

2010-04-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

You know you're a mother when you can spend countless hours watching and taking pictures of your baby while she sleeps.

I don't know how Addison could be even more precious than what she is while she is napping!

She's been sticking her tongue out since the moment she was born much to her Papaw's amusement. Now she is sleeping with it hanging out!

Katie+Daniel=Happily Ever After

2010-04-23T05:23:00.000-07:00

I am a big fan of Kelly's Korner and for those of you who have browsed through her blog you know she does something called "show us your life Fridays" along with a theme for that particular Friday. Today's "show us your life" is about how you met your significant other. I don't think I have ever shared the story of how Daniel and I met and then proceeded to date, get married, buy a house, have a baby, etc. so I thought I would share today.

Sit back and relax while I tell a magical tale~~~

Long, long ago, towards the end of 2004 and the beginning of 2005 there live a beautiful single Princess who lived all alone. The Princess had just turned 21 and had never had what one would consider a boyfriend due in large part because all of the guys she had ever been interested in either didn't return the feelings or ended up just being bad news.

Just joking! A Princess I am not! The story however is true.

In all honesty, I was that shy girl in high school who never really put herself out there so I didn't date in high school either. I had horrible self esteem and even though I had all kinds of friends, when it came to guys and dating I was more comfortable sitting in the corner so that the neon light on my forward signaling that I was single and desperate wouldn't gain any notice. In all of my pathetic being I decided that after 21 years enough was enough and I needed to get off of my fanny and do something about it. I was sick of being all alone and having my Saturday nights consist of hanging out with my then 16 year old sister and her boyfriend. Even my kid sister could get a man which proves even further just how pathetic I must have been. I knew I didn't need to flash the neon sign on my forehead because who knows what kind of bad news would have been knocking on my door, but I knew I needed to do something.

Anyway, here I am desperate for some love and affection and I realize...I don't go out and party or bar hop with friends so just how am I going to meet somebody. After all I am not one to chat in line with the hottie behind me at McDonald's so I knew none of that "chance meeting" stuff was going to occur.

So what did Katie do you ask?

Katie took matters into her own hands is what she did!!

I created an account on cupid.com! Now before you laugh at me remember, I did not do the social scene AT ALL and even if I did I figured meeting someone over the Internet would be just as safe as if I picked some random guy up at a bar. At least meeting them over the Internet equalled some sort of safety net for me and it also met I could "interview" them for quite some time before I took the big leap and actually meet them face to face. It also meant that after I obtained their name and where they lived my roomie who just so happened to be a corrections officer for Montgomery County, could search for them in the County records to see if they had any secrets I needed to know about...LOL! It pays to have good friends sometimes.

So there I was my account was up and running and it was finally time to do some much needed "shopping". I "winked" at a few guys which is cupids way of showing a person your interested in them and Daniel just so happened to be one of those guys. He had by far, the most gorgeous blue eyes I had ever seen in my life and I have always been a sucker for blue eyes. I tried not to hold my breath on whether or not he would "wink" back but he did and I just knew the guy that I was interviewing prior to Daniel needed to go, he had been to "in my face" anyway. And by the way...the blue eyes I was so enthralled with, yeah, they were fake, big fat duds. His eyes are a blue green but thanks to the contacts he was wearing at the time his eyes were a very bright teal blue. My sister and I still can't believe we fell for them at first.

Now for those of you who aren't familiar with cupid.com you should know that it is free to set up an account and wink at whoever your heart fancies. It is not free however, to actually talk to those people and be given their information such as e-mail addresses. In order to do so you have to pay a membership fee which at the time was not in my budget unless I had some luck. Daniel was my luck and I bit the bullet and paid for a one month membership which would be just long enough to gather his e-mail address and his instant messenger screen name so that we could continue to talk after my month was done. We begun corresponding for a few months and then finally we got to the point where it was time to meet. He gave me his digits and I ended up calling him. Looking back at it now I did all of the damn work in the beginning of this relations...LOL.

On March 19th of 2005 we met for the first time. It was the night my parents and my Grandmother who my sister and I just happened to be spending the night with, didn't get a single minute of sleep until they knew we were safely home. Since there was still that remote possibility that Daniel was a serial rapist I dragged my 16 year old sister along with me and we actually met at our other Grandmothers house who had just passed away. Looking back at it now I am not really sure what having my 16 year sister along for the ride would have saved me from. We joke now saying that at least one of us could have survived and called 911 and then had information to help find the others dead body.

So there my sister and I sit in a house barely furnished awaiting the arrival of Daniel. I along with my cousin Heather and friend Amy had just begun moving into the house so please don't think we were there because it was empty. My sister still cracks up thinking about that night because I spent most of it in and out of the bathroom. We were worried about my hair, make-up, clothes, and bless my heart...whether I would have to poop while he was there. Don't ask...only a person with Crohns disease, which I was a few months away from being diagnosed with, would worry about such a thing.

We sat around for about an hour and then we heard it. The roar of Daniel's limited edition 1996 orange Ford Mustang pulling into the driveway. We ran to the front window staying low enough that he wouldn't be able to detect us and then we crawled to the front bedroom where we could safely peer out the window to determine whether or not we should open the front door. I told you I was pathetic but looking back we would have been hysterical to watch.

He got out of the car, while Nikki scrammed for the living room and I gathered myself long enough to quit breathing like I had just been running and crawling around the house, I opened the door and there he stood. Ol' blue eyes in person. We did our introduction. I asked whether he went by Daniel or Dan...he said either was fine. On a side note...either was not fine and I was scolded by my future mother in law a few months later when I called him Dan in front of her. This was also the time when I should have known that this man cannot make a definite decision to save himself.

The night went rather smoothly, the three of us...Nikki included, curled up on the couch and watched a series of scary movies. I was sandwiched between Nikki and Daniel with Daniel at the very end of the couch. By the end of the night Nikki was pretty much sitting on my lap while I was pretty much sitting on Daniel's lap because of the scary movie marathon we were holding. The night ended with he and I taking Nikki back to our other Grandma's house because my Grandma had given her a curfew(Grandma was not thrilled with our decision making skills that night and a curfew was her way of interjecting in some way). My cousin Heather and friend Amy had both gotten home by the time we had gotten back and Daniel ended up buying everybody Taco Bell...he ordered a nacho belle grande without tomatoes by the way, and then Heather suckered us into watching a porno*. I still can't believe that part and you really need to know the crazy that is my cousin Heather to fully understand it. When you put us three girls together we are one fruit loop short of being a bowl full of crazy.

*I would like to add we did not watch the entire thing, just a few minutes, so please don't think we are complete weirdos who should not have a child...LOL.

Daniel ended up heading home without giving me a kiss good night...he did hug me though much to the girls enjoyment since they had been hovering behind the front door peeping through the window and peep hole trying to see and hear everything that was said or done. A day or so later I gave him a call wishing him a happy birthday which happened to be on the 23rd since he hadn't called me since our "first date", that was my way of being in contact without looking desperate. Even after the happy birthday call he didn't call me back. I was heartbroken and pissed off but seriously after that first night could you really blame him for not calling me? My cousin subjected him to a porno and my 16 year old sister baby-sat us...I wouldn't have called me either. He did end up calling me back eventually, obviously since we're married now, and he explained that he had been deathly ill with the flu. His Mom eventually confirmed it because he managed to drag himself to her house for his birthday dinner and she saw for herself how sick he was. I feel bad now for all of the evil things Heather, Amy, and I said about him for not calling me back after that initial Saturday but how were we to know he was sick...he didn't call me!!

Like I said he did finally call me and we went out on our second date, which by the way was once again with chaperone's. His best friend Mike and his girlfriend Megan took us to Olive Garden to celebrate Daniel's birthday. I bought him his first gift that date, a t-shirt which he stills wears and was shocked to have received. Shortly after that second date we were with each other every single weekend up until September, our third date was actually the first date with it being just us. We shared a pizza at Joe's Pizza which is a little hole in the wall place here in Dayton followed by a movie at his apartment...we watched Pearl Harbor. Within three months of dating my health took a turn for the worse and by September I was so sick I truly thought I could be knocking on heavens door. I could no longer eat and managed to lose over fifty pounds within just a couple of months. The pain I was in was excruciating to put it mildly and I was unable to stand without almost passing out. Now after knowing what it's like to give birth to a child, I would rather give birth to a child then having to ever go through that period of time in my life again. By mid September enough was enough and I began seeing the doctor. After my first appointment and having a mild seizure after they took my blood I was sent straight to the hospital for more testing. I was sick and it was bad. I will spare you the details of those next few weeks but I was finally diagnosed with Crohns disease and our relationship became very strained. The week before my diagnosis I had actually moved into Daniel's place but I was so sick my Mom and Step-dad wanted me back at home. I actually had a possible cancer scare when the tests started coming back in so you can imagine how worried all of my parents were. I was TERRIFIED and needed the comfort of my home and family. I don't know if Daniel was hurt that I had left or more upset with the fact now he was stuck without anyone to help pay the expenses at the apartment, but needless to say he pretty much abandoned me during this time. I had decided that whether he wanted to or not, our relationship was done. I needed someone to support me and he was doing a crappy job of it. I finally threw in the towel and called him once just to check in and we talked and things got better. He still to this day is horrible at emotional support when I am sick although he is getting better. It took him several years to finally understand what having Crohns meant and just how sick I was because of it. I think after almost having Addison without an epidural when his buddies at work tell him their wives/girlfriends got theirs fairly early in labor he has a little bit more understanding of what I am able to tolerate and what my body is always going through. Secretly I think he is kind of proud I went through all of that before I got relief and that unlike his buddies women, his woman was able to hang tough.

So to keep an already long story from turning into a novel, we first met on March 19th of 2005...I consider it our first date, on May 7th of 2006 we became engaged, on October 30th 2006 we closed on our house and on May 5th of 2007 we became man and wife. And who could forget the little person that ties our happily ever after all together...Addison graced us with her presence on February 17th 2010. It was a day that we had given up hope on ever experiencing as we had been trying to get to that point since September of 2006 when we made the offer on our house. Yes we had been trying to get pregnant before we were married, we're horrible I know...lol. Our lives are almost complete now that we have her and we won't be fully complete until we give her at least one sibling...I just pray it doesn't take as long to happen this time.

It still amazes me everyday that we started this journey five years ago thanks to cupid.com and here we still are. What makes it even more special is that Daniel is the first boy I ever truly loved and if he stuck by me during that unusual...for lack of a better term, first date and my Crohns diagnosis not to mention the drama that is my family at all times, then he must be in it for the long haul! I love you sweetie and I can't wait for what the next five years holds for us!!

Two years ago...

2010-04-19T06:41:00.001-07:00

Two years ago today I kissed you good-bye for the final time and with that lost the most amazing woman in my life for forever.

I cannot tell you how badly I wish you were here with me today celebrating the joy known as motherhood. I know you would be so proud of your newest great grandchild and I know she would love you just as much as I did and still do. If I can show my children half the love and encouragement that you showed your children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great great grandchildren I know that I will make a wonderful mother and grandmother to my own.

Even though you are not here physically I know you are here spiritually. It's an almost daily occurrence that we find Addison gazing upon your picture that's hanging upon our wall. While she may never know what it is to be held by you I know from the smile on her face when gazing upon yours that she already knows what it is to have her heart touched by you.

You have three girls that need you oh so desperately right now all for much different reasons but we know that after gracing this earth for eighty eight years it was finally time for you to say good-bye.

You told us all not to cry for you or be sad that you needed to leave. I told you that it was just a sign of our love for you and it couldn't be controlled. Two years later we are still crying for you as our love for you has yet to diminish.

Thank you for being my Grandma and instilling in me so many of your greatest qualities and most of all, thank you for loving me unconditionally...faults and all.

Two Months

2010-04-17T10:55:00.000-07:00

Addison,
Today you are two months old and I just can't believe how much you have changed in just these past four weeks. You are an amazing little girl and Mommy and Daddy are so blessed to have you in our lives. You eat like a champ...sleep like a champ and very seldom do you cry. We are spoiled by your wonderful behavior and good nature. Thank you for making our transition into parenthood so easy!

Love you Baby Buttercup,
Mommy and Daddy

Already?

2010-04-08T07:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a busy day for Addison and me and with it we marked a big milestone.

The big milestone being that Addison isn't so little anymore! I can't believe it but I actually had to put away all of her newborn clothes as they are now way too small for her little body. I will admit to a tear or two mainly because I can't believe she is already seven weeks old. I remember just prior to her birth laying in bed with Daniel saying that it wouldn't be much longer before she was here and laying in bed with us and now BOOM, she's here and already to big for the newborn clothes that I used to spend countless amounts of time gazing upon in her closest dreaming of the moment I would finally get to use them. Not only is she to big to wear them but I realize there may not be another opportunity to use them again. For all we know, as I told her last night, we may get nothing but stinky ol' boys from here on out. She thought that was kind of funny as she gave Mommy a big ol' grin when I told her. Just so I am clear...we are 100% OK with having boys next. In fact Addison's sitter, my friend Amber, has two little boys of her own. The littlest one being Brayden...I ask him everyday if he's ready to go home with me yet because he's that stinkin' cute. Anyway, it's just a bummer that I may not get the opportunity to use all of these pink clothes again and its sad for me when I wanted a girl so bad before knowing Addison's gender. Time flew by way to quick but on a positive note that just means I get to buy new clothes for this period in her growth.

Yesterday was somewhat of a big day for Mommy as well. I got my six week checkup and the Doctor said all appeared to be healthy and normal so I am able to resume my normal activities. Sex, exercises, heavy lifting, pretty much all the stuff I was told not to do. I had to chuckle when she told me all of this since we may have been pregnant again so obviously we didn't listen to the sex part and then exercises...I haven't exercised a day in my life so that was just funny. I have only lost ten pounds though since giving birth so between the pregnancy weight and the weight I gained the previous year due to my steroids...I have about sixty pounds to lose in order to be back to normal. I guess the word exercises needs to be added to the vocabulary.

On another note, anyone else just loving the new warmer weather? Today was a bit of a shocker thanks to the cold front that moved in last night but the previous days were so wonderful. I can't wait for it to get warm and stay warm so that we can begin doing more outdoor activities!

Hoppy Easter!

2010-04-03T14:24:00.000-07:00

Addison would like to wish all of her followers a very Hoppy Easter and yes her Mommy purposely misspelled Hoppy!

Back to work and not happy!!

2010-04-01T07:53:00.001-07:00

Today is my first day back to work. I kept telling myself I would be fine since Addison would be spending most of the day with her Daddy before heading to the sitters house but guess what...I was only kidding myself. Leaving her at home this morning cradled in Daniel's arms getting her bottle about tore my heart right out of my chest...morning bottles were my job and I am resentful that that job has been taken away from me.

I have only cried once at work but I find myself looking at her pictures quite often. I should never have downloaded her pictures to my work computer, it's too much of a distraction and while I gaze upon them I feel the dreaded pain in the back of my throat from trying to hold back my emotions. Those chubby cheeks just call to me to squeeze them but sadly I am not able to do so.

I never imagined loving someone so much or being so dependent on having that person in my presence at all times. Who cares that I haven't had a decent nights sleep in six weeks, well months considering those last few weeks prior to her birth I couldn't roll over in bed or get comfortable to save myself, but if we are talking about getting up every two and a half hours then it's six weeks. Who cares that my mind and sanity are shot. I mean really, who needs to talk in complete, understandable sentences anyway. And do I really need the invitation to my cousins wedding that I lost within an hour of opening it? I still can't find that stupid thing and I wouldn't be surprised if I go to grab something out of the freezer and I stumble upon it. I can't stand this not being able to pick her up whenever I want and I would be more than happy to continue living my life like I have above if only I got to stay with my little baby buttercup all day long!

I hate to tell this little girl but she is not going away for college, moving out, or getting married...I just don't think my heart could take anymore!

Bath Time

2010-03-22T14:27:00.000-07:00

Dirty Baby=Check

Bath Sponge=Check
Baby Shampoo=Check
Wash Cloth=Check
Rubber Ducky=Check
Ducky Towel=Check
Warm Water...baby doesn't do any of that lukewarm crap=Check

End Result

One very clean and happy baby!

One Month

2010-03-17T22:00:00.001-07:00

Happy One Month Birthday Sweetie!

I can't believe a month has passed since you were brought into our world. I can't wait for all of the months to come!

Weird?

2010-03-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

I was casually going back through some of my posts and I stumbled upon the one from November 20th. In the post I wrote...I had another dream this morning about you and you came out with these perfectly round cheeks, maybe you have squirrel tendencies after all...is it weird that she came out with round cheeks? Call it mother's intuition but that line actually gave me the chills. I had a few of those moments during this pregnancy.

A few weeks before I found out I was pregnant I started having dreams about us having a baby. The dreams centered around us laying in bed with our baby while I fed the baby a bottle. I actually told Daniel around that time that a pregnancy was going to happen and it was going to happen soon. Who would have known that when I told him this...I was actually already pregnant. The same thing happened with the gender. I knew from day one that we were having a little girl. I can't explain it but the thought of it being a boy never crossed my mind. I had dreams in the beginning of the pregnancy that it was a girl so I knew it.

I wonder if I will have these same things happen with future pregnancies?? Are what I experienced normal with pregnant women? Did you experience the same thing? Am I physic or just plain weird?

Proof she can hold up her head already...I promise my arm is resting on her back, not supporting her head like it may appear! Is it me or does this little girl look different in all of her pictures?

How do you get a fussy baby to simmer down?

2010-03-13T14:10:00.003-08:00

You place her in your recliner by herself that's how!

Kicked back and relaxed!

Mommy's happy little camper.
You wouldn't know by that little smirk that she had been crying for the previous three hours!
Check out those eyelashes while your taking a look. I am so jealous of them I can't see straight!

Seriously??

2010-03-08T15:32:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it but my little baby, the one that wouldn't come out, is now almost three weeks old. Each day she is getting bigger and more alert. She smiles all of the time, coos when we have our girl time before bed, holds her head up high without help. She even tries to roll over. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about this but something tells me she is going to be a quick learner. Before I know it she will be crawling and then it won't be long before she is walking around this place like she's in charge.

My first day back to work is April 1st and I am dreading it. I don't know how I am going to make it through the day without her but I must be a big girl and do my best to manage. There were times prior to her birth where I questioned whether being a Mommy was something I could handle and whether I was meant to do it. Now that she is here I know for a fact I can do it and that being a Mommy is my true profession in life. I actually have this overwhelming desire to have another baby immediately. I can't explain it and who knows if it's just my hormones talking but I can't wait until we get to do this again. Being with Addison is the highlight of my life right now and if I never walked back into my place of employment I would be ok with that, sadly we have no choice and until April 1st rolls around I must treasure everyday with her. I pray that by the time baby #2 gets here we will be more financially stable and I hope that will mean I can go from being a full time employee to a part time employee.

In the mean time here are some pictures to share with everyone. Some are from the hospital and others are ones we have taken here at home. I could stare at this child all day every day and maybe these will help you understand why I can't get enough of her and why I dread leaving her.Mommy and Addison reading the latest Babies R Us ad.

Someone's found their thumb...

2010-02-26T14:17:00.000-08:00

Is she not the cutest thing you have ever seen???

She could care less about her pacifier, just give her her thumb!

Addison's Birth Story

2010-02-21T20:47:00.000-08:00

As promised I am sharing Addison's birth story with everyone. She is resting comfortably on my chest as I type this and I still can't believe she is all mine. For several months I felt as if this pregnancy was just flying by but of course those last few weeks just kept on going as if the end would never get here. I am so proud of myself for carrying this precious little girl in my belly for almost nine months and then actually giving birth to her. I still can't believe I have done it and I actually can't wait until I get the opportunity again. Nothing will ever top the birth of Addison, not even subsequent births of future children. There is just something so special about that first baby that propelled you into parenthood. Don't get me wrong, I will love each of my children equally and each of their births will be special in there own way, but I just can't fathom how any of them would top Addison's. She is already the light of my life and I can't get enough of her. The little squeeze she gives my finger, the smirk she shares with us when you gently rub her cheeks and chin, and the priceless face she gives us when she is loading her diaper with something for Mommy and Daddy. My dear daughter is an excellent pooper/burper/farter...her Daddy is so darn proud it's not even funny.

Anyway, our journey began last Thursday. I woke up that morning to prepare for work when what I thought was my water breaking occurred. Decided I had better hang at home just in case we were finally going to be meeting our daughter. I had contractions/cramps through out the day but nothing ever escalated. At my appointment the next day the Doctor was concerned about what I had experienced the previous day so she checked to see if it had been my water, it wasn't, and thought maybe it would be a good idea for an emergency ultrasound just to check on the baby. After waiting all afternoon it was determined that Addison was just fine but was starting to measure on the larger size. Due to the fact my Crohns has been a concern this entire pregnancy it was decided that we would go ahead and induce so that we could get her outta there before she got any bigger. The ultrasound was estimated over eight pounds then. The only available time was Monday night so that gave us all weekend to prepare for the big day.

I spent the weekend preparing meals and prepping myself emotionally for what was about to happen. Of course the snow storm hit and people started to scramble but we held strong and pretended like the snow was no big deal. We carefully made our way to the hospital where they started right at six on me. First the IV, took three tries but I survived, then the gels that would help soften my cervix. Pitocin was started the next morning at 4 a.m. and contractions started to slowly follow. Unfortunately my body didn't respond quite like they had wanted but were prepared for so at 6:15 I was given three options. The first option was call it quits and head home and try again towards the end of the week, second was to keep trying and hope that I progressed, and the third had something to do with a c-section. I had already made up my mind to keep trying so I tuned out for that last option. Anyway, they turned off the pitocin and were going to take me off all of the monitors so that I could shower and get up and move around more freely however Addison's heart beat kept at a steady 130 or so and they became concerned. They said it should be accelerating and because it wasn't they weren't comfortable taking me off the monitors...so much for a shower. Gels were started again at 8 where it was determined that I was still only around 2 cm dilated which was where I was at when we came in Monday. The gels were done again at midnight and then at 4 pitocin was started again. Even off the pitocin I had continued to contract so my night was less than comfortable. By that morning I was in so much pain it was all I could do not to slit my own wrists. Addison had turned sunny side up at some point in time so all of my contractions were in my lower back and butt. People...I thought I was going to die they hurt so bad. Finally after the pressure got so intense and after I commented to everyone that I needed to poop but I couldn't people went crazy calling for the nurse. I guess the word poop that far along means you are towards the end...lol. I had gone from 2 cm to almost 8 in just a few hours. Before I knew it people were being called to get to the hospital and the epidural was being placed. For nine months I worried about that darn epidural and how badly it would hurt, my IV on Monday was worse than the epidural. In fact the only thing I felt was a tickle from they shot me with the numbing medicine. The epidural guy was awesome and quickly became my best friend. The pressure was still there which was painful in it's own little way but at least the contractions were gone.

Everything after that was a blur until it was time to push. I started pushing around 10 and by 10:20 that morning Addison had arrived. I actually had to stop pushing for around 10 minutes to allow my Doctor time to get out of the c-section and hysterectomy she was performing. It was a busy day at the hospital...lol. There were a few moments where they were concerned I wouldn't be able to get her out. I guess my pelvic bone was in the way and I really had to push to get her past it. Because of that the family has nicknamed her turtle. I would push and they would see her head and then I would stop and back in it would go.

I still can't believe that I gave birth to this little girl. I can't wait to watch her grow.

I have more to type but you know where I said she was a good pooper?? Yeah, well, she just had a minor explosion that I need to take care of and I better do so quickly because the smell is starting to radiate from her diaper.

Addison Grace Blankenship...

2010-02-20T08:19:00.000-08:00

has finally made her appearance. She was born on Wednesday February 17th at 10:20 a.m., she weighed in at 7lbs. 11oz and was 21 in. long. Monday night/Tuesday mornings induction did not work so we started round two Tuesday night. I progressed from 2 cm. to almost 8 in just a few hours and a lot quicker than anyone expected...in fact I didn't receive my epidural until I was 8 cm dilated. Child birth was the most painful thing I have ever endured but just like everyone has said, you forget once your child is placed in your arms. My little girl is completely wrapped around my finger and I can't believe I have lived all of these years without her in my life. She is an awesome baby who very rarely cries. We were just sprung from the hospital today due to her developing jaundice which wasn't fun but the Doctor thinks she should be just fine by Monday or so. Now if you'll excuse me I am going to go and rest. I haven't had more than two hours of sleep since Sunday night and my days are starting to run together. I will post pictures and such at a later time.

Someones about to make their grand debut...

2010-02-13T15:18:00.000-08:00

Good news...since Addison doesn't want to join us on our own we're going in after her...lol. We leave for the hospital Monday night to start the induction process. The Doctor warned it's going to be long and hard but she thinks it should work and we won't have to have a c-section. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers and just think...the next time I post here...it will be with a picture of the most beautiful little girl you've ever seen, well at least that's what I will think!! :)

2010-02-02T12:46:00.001-08:00

Addison Grace Blankenship come out right now please!!

I am well aware that while tight, your accommodations are probably quite cozy with a nice heat source that doesn't come with an outrageous Vectren bill, your love of Big Boys with extra tarter sauce, and the overall knowledge that at this time you don't have to do anything but grow is enough to keep anyone inside of my uterus but for crying out loud child...COME OUT!

I will be 39 weeks tomorrow which is great and makes us that much closer to your arrival but do you think that you could at least try to help dilate my cervix. I mean I am 39 weeks pregnant and the term "thick and closed" is not one you want to hear when you are that far along into a pregnancy. Then add on top of that the Doctor doesn't even want to discuss induction right now because if I were to be induced at my stage more than likely they would end up going in after you and I do not want to be cut open to retrieve you.

So please in order to give Mommy and Daddy some relief and a much needed break from work, even though taking care of you will be work in it's own right, let's make some progress shall we?? I am not asking for much...a centimeter or two would work just fine. Even my blood pressure is starting to go up so before it gets any worse lets get crackin'.

Now that I have said that I would also like to add about how quickly this progress should take place. I have tested positive for Group B Strep which means that before you come I MUST have IV antibiotics to ensure your health and safety. What this means for you is none of this I'm a Murphy funny business you want me to come I will come gosh darn't. This means that we need to progress slowly that way Mommy has time to recognize that it's time to go to the hospital but still have plenty of time to get at least one dose of medicine in her. So when I get to the hospital and they tell me "oh you're about 3 centimeters" that does not mean speed up and shoot to ten within an hour.

Thank you for listening, now let's see how stubborn you are and whether you actually paid attention to what I have just said.

I love you no matter what though...always remember that!

Just so you know little girl...

2010-01-27T08:00:00.000-08:00

your Daddy is becoming very, very impatient waiting for your arrival. This has been building up for a little while but it's gone into a full steam ahead sort of deal ever since Saturday night.

Saturday night was a family dinner and your cousin Dylan is not content unless he is standing on your lap where he can see everyone and is able to dance and bounce about as he so pleases. Your Father thought this was the funniest thing ever and ever since then those little smacks you have been getting on or around your bottom which I might add is smack dab in the middle of my tummy but titled to the left a little, is coming straight from him and not your Mother! I mention this because those nice little jabs to my ribs you have been throwing my way are not appreciated and it is not fair that I must be forced to endure them when he is the culprit behind your hostility and are directed at him. You got me so good Sunday night I about jumped out of my chair and if I didn't know better it was strong enough you could have kicked your way through to the outside. Of course your Dad looked at me like I was an idiot and asked "what was that" as if I just randomly decided to bounce in the recliner for the heck of it.

He is also getting your four legged brothers to join in on getting you sprung from your current residence. I get the phone call from work saying, "Bandit says Addison needs to come out and play now" or "Lennon is ready for his little sister to be here". We all know Bandit and Lennon couldn't care less about whether you show up or not, it's really Daddy's way of knowing that your arrival is imminent and him getting overly excited for the big moment.

The current babies...

2010-01-26T07:25:00.000-08:00

And just how are we supposed to explain to these two that here very shortly they will no longer be the babies and lap time with Daddy will need to come to an abrupt halt in order to not squish their baby sister?

Man how things are about to change at our house!!

Latest Appointment

2010-01-21T11:56:00.001-08:00

Today we had yet another appointment. We are finally in the home stretch as future appointments will be once every week.

They tested me for the Group B Strep today and while the Doctor was "down there" she checked to see if anything was going on. Sadly, I am not dialted so we more than likely won't be having a baby anytime soon. I actually thought she might arrive towards the end of January but unless something major happens I think she's in it for the long haul.

Her heartbeat was a good 148 today and all of my numbers (with the exception of my weight) were good as well.

Baby Shower #2

2010-01-10T17:01:00.001-08:00

We had another awesome baby shower today and we were blessed with lots of goodies for Addison. I have such wonderful people in my life and it's wonderful knowing they are willing to sacrifice a few hours of their time to help celebrate my daughter. Here are a few pictures from the party along with a few of Addison's room.

Baby Update

2010-01-05T12:06:00.001-08:00

Today was another good appointment. I did get into trouble about my weight. I still haven't gained a horrible amount but I keep gaining in big spurts and then I will go for awhile without gaining any. My Doctor told me that maybe we should cut out the carbs and introduce some fruits and veggies...LOL. What I didn't tell her is that carbs aren't really the problem...it's the eating out and junk food that is being consumed that hold the blame here. Hamburgers are going to be the death of me if I am not careful. Sunday I had a cheeseburger from Steak N Shake and then yesterday I had a Big Boy from Frisch's, don't forget the extra tarter please!! Aside from hamburgers we have cereal. What my baby wants my baby gets and right now she wants Corn Pops. Are Corn Pops considered carbs, maybe I do have a carb problem...oh well!

This was the first appointment where I got bad news that isn't really bad news. I am anemic therefore I get to start taking iron supplements to get my blood back to where it needs to be. Of course as many of you know iron supplements can cause another issue which tends to be an issue without the help of iron in pregnant women so I also get to take something to help ease that problem. This should be fun, as if I don't already have enough issues in the bathroom department. I tend to be anemic off and on because of my Crohns disease and after having an episode of almost passing out on Sunday and being light headed off and on recently I knew that it was coming back into play.

I did discuss how having Crohns would affect my delivery. As of right now the Doctor does not see it as being a problem so we are good for a vaginal delivery for now. Please God let it go smoothly...I don't want to leave the hospital with a new batch of problems to contend with. Thankfully Addison is growing just as she should be so I don't think we will be having a large baby. The Doctors are still baffled that she, throughout this entire journey, has measured a week ahead of her due date. This of course cracks me up because if they would listen to me concerning my dates and the date of conception which I know by the way, then they would know why she is measuring a week ahead. She is measuring a week ahead because she isn't due the 18th...she's due the 10th!!! Silly doctors, I was there when it happened so you would think they would be more open to my suggestions. Like I have said before though, it doesn't really matter, she will get here when she decides to get here. I just continue to think it's funny since the doctors bring it up at every single one of my appointments.

Let's see what else do I have to share, oh yes, her nursery is almost complete. We started putting together the crib on Sunday night and after three hours we gave up after only completing half of it. When I first started helping Daniel I asked him if there was anything I needed to do to help. I was told to sit down and hand him screws as needed and to also not buy such complicated stuff. I think we have the hardest part done so the worst is over. We also have another big day coming up on Sunday. It's baby shower #2 which I am very excited about. My first one was awesome with mostly just family and a few of Daniel's friends but this one will include all of my girls from work and school so not only will I get another chance to celebrate my daughter and see all of her new stuff, but I will also get to do a lot of catching up with people. I will be sure to post lots of pictures after all is said and done.

We also almost had a last minute name change for Addison. As most of you know I have had the name Addison Grace picked out since I was a senior in high school which would have been 2001-2002. I spent years talking Daniel into liking that name and he refused saying that it was never going to happen. Of course we finally get pregnant and discussing names with Daniel was like talking to a brick wall, he didn't suggest a single one and I kept pushing for Addison. Finally I gave in one day and decided Kayleigh sounded really nice. I figured I would run it by him and see what he thought and the only thing he could say was, "I thought we were naming her Addison". I don't need to tell you what my response was as after four years I am sure you can imagine. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I happened to throw some names out that I also liked from when I was younger and ones that I have fallen for more recently such as Kadence. Can you believe it, he actually liked the name Kadence and he quickly started trying to come up with middle names for it. So that left us with a big name debate on whether we should change Addison to Kadence or what. After much thought I just couldn't do it. This little girl has been Addison for way to long and I honestly felt like I was losing a child by changing her name so Addison Grace it stays. Good news though, our second daughter is named and ready to go...LOL. Kadence Marie should hopefully be here within the next two years or so given that we are able to get pregnant again right away and we happen to conceive a little girl. If it's a boy Daddy is sorry out of luck until another girl comes around and by then who knows what other name could come into play.

I still can't believe how close we are to the end of this journey. I can't wait to see and hear Addison for the first time but there is still a part of me that is very nervous at the thought of becoming a parent.

Just a thought...

2009-12-30T12:45:00.000-08:00

Addison,

Today Mommy is 34 weeks pregnant with you. That means that in a mere three weeks you will be considered a full term baby should you decide to grace us with your presence. I have a big conversation coming up with my Doctor concerning your arrival and when it should take place for the health and safety of me and the fact I have Crohns disease. I swore up and down that I would allow nature to take it's course for your arrival. I wanted you to come when you were ready and when my body was fully prepared for it to happen but now I must take into consideration whether you need a healthy Mommy or risk ending up with a sick Mommy. So many decisions I have had to make over the course of these last eight months pertaining to your well being and so many more that are yet to come. I have already started putting your needs in front of my own. Money that was gifted to me over the holidays has been spent on you and I don't regret it for a second...I only wish I could do more for you as I am sure most all parents feel.

I am starting to drive Daddy a little on the crazy side. Even though your nursery still hasn't been completed I can't help but walk by and open up the door and just stand there in awe of what it is about to become and the countless hours you and I will spend in there just gazing upon one another. He quickly walks by and shuts the door not understanding my need to keep the door open. You are the light of my life already and I can't even begin to understand how much that will grow once I have you in my arms.

You have so many people anxiously awaiting your arrival. Your Aunt Nikki and Aunt Heather are just as excited as we are and your Uncle Matt and Uncle Steve, well they have become very protective of you already. I think Aunt Megan is just excited to share your arrival with all of her friends and shout proudly from the roof tops that she is an Aunt...silly teenagers!

We won't even begin to discuss how your Grandparents are doing. Your Grandpa Blankenship no longer cares about my well being, it's "how is my Granddaughter doing, you keep her safe". Grandma B is just as excited, she is stocking up for your arrival and I fear that she may snatch you one day and not give you back. She proudly showed off the bumpers for your cradle and the quilt that a friend made for her, all that is to be kept at her house, on Christmas. And she kept saying she wanted a boy, I think she has gotten over that rather nicely. Your Papaw takes pride in reminding me that I am carrying precious cargo...or "his" granddaughter as he says. There was great debate on Christmas about what your nickname would be. Dylan is currently going by pickle, and Mya, your soon to be cousin goes by peanut...he informed me that you would go by pumpkin. I guess we have a letter p thing going on here and in true fashion it must revolve around food.

Your Daddy is slowly coming around. Deep down inside he's excited, he just doesn't show it. I think it's a man thing and he says it will all change the minute he sees you for the first time. After the few short seconds you will be laid upon my chest at birth you will be going straight to your Daddy's arms. I will have gotten to hold you for the past nine months at that point so it's only fair that he gets his turn and that it takes place after I have kicked the few people that will be in the room out on their fannies...hopefully Grandma B, Aunt Nikki, and Aunt Heather will understand.

Daddy has now compared you to your four legged brothers and sadly it's somewhat true. The boys know when it's time to be fed, they harass you and run around like crazed animals until you give in and just feed them already. After they have full tummies they are out for the count, curled up like precious bundles scattered around the living room. It's those moments of peace that Mommy treasures...those few hours that I don't want to skin them alive for destroying something. Sadly Addison, you are the same way. When its time to eat you slowly start moving about in my tummy and during the time in which I am feeding the both of us, you grow more fierce in your movements to the point Mommy is in pain and can barely eat. Shortly after finishing though you settle down nicely until we must start the process all over again. At least your nice to Mommy when it's lights out, you must like your sleep like I do. Please continue with that after your arrival!

Anyway, I just wanted to remind you how loved you are and how excited we are to finally meet you. Life for everyone is about to change for the better in just a few short weeks.

Love Always,
Mommy

Momma's on a roll!

2009-12-29T16:26:00.001-08:00

Today was a very good shopping today at the Blankenship homestead. Not only did I save about $100 on Addison's car seat/stroller but I also saved $60 on her baby swing.

Our next baby shower is on January 10th which will be here before I know it. I still can't believe how close we are to meeting our little girl. A few more things to buy and we should be all set.

33 Weeks and counting!

2009-12-25T19:23:00.001-08:00

Here I am below at 33 weeks pregnant . I can't believe that in seven weeks I will be holding my little bundle of joy.

Until then take a look at this little bundle of joy...I could just eat him up he's so darn cute!

He was way to busy to smile for the camera in that last picture. His priority at the time was chewing on his fingers and watching TV.

Hope that everyone had a very Merry Christmas. Ours was wonderful and full of family, more family tomorrow which is great.

Update

2009-12-14T06:12:00.000-08:00

Can you tell these past few weeks haven't been very eventful...haven't posted since November. I apologize Uncle Dan...I'm a bad baby updater!

Anyway, I have had two ultrasounds since and an appointment or two since my last post so I guess it's about time I share some information.

Everything remains good, my blood pressure is excellent and swelling is relatively minor at this point in the game. The only thing that seems to be swelling are my feet/ankles and I only notice it at the end of the day. I blame it on having to sit at a desk for eight hours a day with little to no movement unless I am getting up to use the ladies room or grabbing something off of the printer. I should really move around more!

Anyway, I passed my glucose test with an 84, 140 being the cut off before they start looking at you for gestational diabetes, so that was pretty awesome. I have had my RhoGAM shot so that is over and done with. It wasn't so bad, before I knew it the nurse was slapping on a band-aid and the sucker didn't even leave a mark. It still cracks me up how nervous I get about needles, you would think I would be a pro by now but they still bother me a little bit. It was worse this time since it had been awhile since I have had a shot, actually it's been a long while, try freshman year of college, so even though they say the needles stuck in you for blood draws or my infusions are worse, I was still somewhat panicked about it and would have much rather had my blood drawn.

*Ultrsound pic from November 11th I don't think I ever shared with you. Today was yet another ultrasound and the little lady is once again measuring with a delivery date of February 10th, gee I wonder why my Doctor won't listen to me. She still says my due date is the 18th, I guess my dates and all of the ultrasounds aren't proof enough. We are actually prepping ourselves for a January delivery, not sure why, but I just have this gut feeling that she will be here at the end of January sometime. Not that it really matters what I feel or the tech determines by ultrasound, I figure she will come when she is good and ready and just to be stubborn she will probably come right on the 18th to make her Mother look foolish. She comes from a very long line of stubborn ass' so I wouldn't expect any different...LOL.

She is measuring right on track with a weight just under four pounds. I still can't believe I have something inside of me that large...then she knocks me in the bladder and I remember that yes, I do have something that large inside of me. She is head down and face down so she is ready to go...I wonder if she realizes she has another eight weeks yet...who knows what her rush is (once again the whole January delivery flashes in my mind)! Maybe it's because it's Christmas and she isn't to thrilled about missing out on the festivities. Or could it be because Daddy selfishly mentioned that her arrival before the 31st would be nice because we could claim her on our taxes? I have forbidden her from coming until the carpet is down in her room and the crib is put together and ready to go...we will see who she listens to...Mom or Dad. On another cute note, she has hair and what the ultrasound tech said appears to be lots. The tech asked me, "do you see all of those squiggly, fuzzy lines around her head?", "yes" I replied, "that's her hair" she pointed out. That is very reassuring since both her Mom and Dad had lots of hair that stood on end when born. In fact Daniel's Mom mentioned that if this baby was born with no hair and it didn't stand up on end, then Daniel wasn't the father...LOL. Further proof that yes folks, my husband is the father of my unborn child.

Her heartbeat was a good 153 but unfortunately due to her size and the lack of space she has left we were unable to get any really good pictures. We didn't even get a glance at her face since she was head down. I thought it was really cute when the tech stopped the probe for the ultrasound right over top of her head. You could actually see Addison rotate her head back and forth in my cervix. It was like she had an itch and she was rubbing her nose to relieve it. Just like her younger brother I tell you. Lennon has a bad habit of scratching his nose by rubbing it back and forth on the couch, it appeared that she was doing the same.

So there we go, oh wait, I have not gained anymore weight since the nine pound event in November. The Doctor said it wasn't unusual to have a large increase like that and since I hadn't gained any since then chances are it was most likely water retention.

New Bedding

2009-11-29T16:20:00.000-08:00

Note to self, do not share with anyone your bedding selection that has been chosen for your baby to be's nursery until bedding has actually been purchased or has been received.

Remember the bedding I showed you a week or so ago? Yeah, well, it was a big flop, damn e-bayers, needless to say it's going bye-bye so something else had to be picked. Once again my MIL stepped up to the plate and agreed to split the cost of bedding with us so that we could have something nice. She ordered it today and it should be here within the next two to four weeks. Does anyone else out there love their MIL's? I have always been curious because it seems like most could live without them.

Anyway, here is the new bedding. It's not in hand yet so don't be surprised if some major event means we have to pick something else but I am confident with this one so please keep your fingers crossed!

Daniel wouldn't allow all girly colors in the nursery so I couldn't paint all of the walls pink. We also both wanted a farm theme. I think this bedding was a nice compromise don't you?

Results

2009-11-24T11:54:00.000-08:00

Peanut...good news, we passed our glucose test with flying colors. I am a little concerned though, when I asked the nurse whether she thought the 45 minute delay that took place Friday could affect my results her comment was..."you're the one".

Why do I get the feeling my ordeal was the topic of conversation for a day or so afterwards...LOL. I did ask if I should redo it just to make sure we were all right but she said that I was fine. YAY, now we just have to get through the big shot in the rear on the 7th.

It's official...

2009-11-23T07:48:00.000-08:00

I told you you would love Thanksgiving and if your movement Saturday afternoon after our first meal was any indication...you LOVED it!!! You were all over the place and beating the heck out of your Mommy. The good news though is that since you were so excited after having had turkey and Grandma's stuffing, Daddy FINALLY got to feel you kick for the first time. You also gave Aunt Megan a nice little kick as well although I don't think she was quite as excited as your Father was. Oh how Mommy loves feeling you roll around like a monkey in her belly, I think I am going to miss having that once you arrive but at least once you're here that means I can snuggle and love on you in person. It's getting closer and closer!

28 week appointment...

2009-11-20T10:34:00.000-08:00

Daughter, would you mind explaining to your Mother why she has gained 9 lbs. in 4 weeks? I realize it's winter but you are not a squirrel...please stop storing food for your winter hibernation.

I had another dream this morning about you and you came out with these perfectly round cheeks, maybe you have squirrel tendencies after all.

Any who, we had another decent appointment I guess you could say. Your heart rate was 150 and my blood pressure and urine were once again clean. It was after those announcements that the appointment went south of the border.

Do you know why they call the glucose test a one hour glucose test?

It's because one hour from the time you drink your lovely orange beverage they are supposed to take your blood. Not one hour and forty five minutes later as was the case today. How they manage to misplace your file and then proceed to forget about you is beyond me but they did. It didn't help that I was dehydrated which meant trying to get blood was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Four nurses and five sticks later they finally found blood. This was after they all had to argue about who was going to do it and then proceed to ignore my request to just redo the test at another time when we were all better prepared. I was actually pretty proud of myself though. Needle sticks #3 and #4 were done after I pretty much told them to have at it. For anyone that knows me and the chore it is to get blood from my veins this is a new thing. Normally after the second one I wave the white flag and tell them to back the hell away before anyone gets hurt. It didn't even get dizzy from all of the commotion. I think Mommy has finally put on a pair of her big girl underwear...YAY!!

Hopefully they are able to use the blood and not force us to deal with it again. You didn't move much this morning and I knew why. Mommy hadn't fed you since around 7 o'clock last night so her lil' peanut was just hungry and tired of all the bull crap. I just fed you a single with cheese from Wendy's and you haven't stopped moving since. I guess since I have gained (gulp) 9 lbs. in such a short period of time that maybe a burger from Wendy's wasn't the greatest of ideas but I was in a rush to get home, feed your brothers, and then get back to work since I had been gone since 9:15 this morning. Hell...let's be honest, the cheeseburger probably wasn't smart but the thought of even considering going on a diet is just a joke. Our first Thanksgiving dinner is tomorrow followed by at least one more and then we head into the Christmas season which means Christmas parties, our holiday bake off, Christmas Eve, and then Christmas day. By then you will be a month away from joining us in the real world so why make myself suffer? Not only that but what kind of mother would I be if I didn't allow to you participate in all of the wonderful food during this season?

Do you like Pink?

2009-11-16T11:29:00.000-08:00

Peanut...do you like pink? As in the color pink?

If not then I am sorry. You have more pink clothing than I know what to do with. This is not entirely my fault, I swear. Just about everything that has been purchased for you is either all pink or has hints of pink through out.

Would you prefer purple, maybe a suttle shade of orange instead? You just let Mommy know okay dear!

I painted your room yellow, does that help a little bit? Of course the bedding Mommy bought you last night has pink all over it so once again, do you like pink? I sure hope you do, because if not, then I don't know what to tell you girlfriend!

We were going to remain neutral and do your room in a farm theme but I found your new bedding on e-bay for much, much cheaper. I knew I had to have it as soon as I saw it. See last week when I was starting to realize we probably wouldn't be able to afford your farm bedding, I started drawing up butterflies and lady bugs to paint on each of your walls. Little did I know that while surfing on e-bay last night for a cheaper version of the farm bedding that I would stumble upon the bedding I actually bought for you. The butterflies and lady bugs were almost identical to the ones that I had been drawing for you. I feel that it must have been fate that I stumbled upon it with less than two minutes to go before the end of the auction.

I really hope you like it. I am pretty sure you won't really care but I hope you like it just the same.